Homeschooling in Review
School is FINISHED. Actually, it’s been finished. Adam penciled in his final tests on April 24, nearly two weeks ago, and summer began with a whirl of activity and way cooler weather than should be associated with the end of school. It would be impossible for me to describe just how glad I am to be finished with school. Some days I still feel a little shell-shocked, shaking my head in awe that we actually accomplished mission nearly impossible. Would I choose to homeschool? Nev … oops, I said I’m not going to make any more never statements because too many of them have come to pass in the last year. And actually, yes, depending on the circumstance, I might choose it as the lesser of two evils. Say, for example, we lived in a tiny community with a teeny tiny private school and a seventeen year old teacher trying to take care of seven scattered grades and the kids had serious behavior issues. And I guess technically, I am currently choosing to homeschool. Although the other option is public school and that’s not happening in this community. Last September the boys and I were doing art out at the lake and two busses full of middle school kids were also there. One of the adults with the group was walking around in something not much bigger than a bikini top and too-short shorts and a group of kids fifteen feet away was discussing where they’d lost their virginity. If homeschooling is called being over-protective, I’m actually fine with being stereotyped.
Oddly, I’m almost looking forward to school next year now that I have a little bit of an idea of what to do the same and what to do differently. The first year must be the hardest, even if your child isn’t in first grade. It was a huge learning curve for all of us. The first few weeks I heard a lot about how the books at school were so much better and the way they did things at school were so much better and this wasn’t the right way to do this. Meanwhile, I was suddenly faced with giving up hours of my day, five days a week, and feeling completely depleted at the end of so many days, yet simultaneously feeling as though I hadn’t done a thing. Homeschooling takes parenting to a level of unprecedented intensity. It was completely up to me to teach not only the lessons but also to teach good work ethics (still working on it), self-motivation (epic fail), help to study for tests, co-ordinate all activities, study ahead for lessons, help with catch up work before, on, and after trips, and still be the mom. Perhaps what I like most about being finished is not even so much the more flexible, relaxed schedule (although that is heavenly), but the ability to just be mom. I am once again absolutely loving being with the boys instead of almost constantly feeling as though I want to run away for a break. Somewhere. Someway. Somehow.
Yesterday we biked fifteen miles on the Allegany Passage. We stopped to read the signs along the route which led to learning about the brush tunnel and a cave that housed skeletal parts of at least twenty-eight animals discovered when the railroad was built. Many of the animals are now extinct and they even found skeletal parts of a crocodile high in that mountain cave. Noah and the Flood, anyone? We saw an unusual red flower to look up later, but mostly, we let the rush of air liberate our minds and refresh our stale spirits. I listened to little boy talk, steered the conversation when needed, and watched Adam’s competitive drive surface when a boy just about his age passed us on the bike path. Today we read Charlottes Web and discussed what the word “spry” means. Liam learned how to fold laundry neatly and Adam had a little tutorial about which cycle on the washer to use when washing towels. I refereed when fights broke out and smiled when they grew consumed with a giggling fit. I love being a mom. I’m just not cut out to be a teacher. Adam, on the other hand, has decided he wants to homeschool even when we move back to Virginia.
To be honest, there are some pretty cool things that go along with homeschooling. I liked reviewing Math and racing Adam on flash cards. It was interesting reading stories about frontier life in America and making cotton balls with seeds one day and then discovering how hard it was to clean cotton by hand the next. I loved that Adam and Liam didn’t take thirty minutes a day adjusting to being together when Adam got home from school. It is true that I longed for a break more days than not, but not once did I miss having him gone eight hours a day nine months out of the year. While we stayed fairly structured, I loved that if we were on a trip and got home late, we could start school at 10:30 the next morning after sleeping in and unpacking all the suitcases. It was nice not to have to decide between pulling Adam out of school or listening to him miss out when fun things happened at camp like making apple butter over an open fire or the Woodsmanship Festival. Best of all, I liked having a lot more say about curriculum choices and having time to pursue extracurricular activities like piano and art.
Probably one of the biggest things that changed as education became almost solely my responsibility is that I began to view it more holistically. I’ve never been a teacher, so more than likely they’ve been doing this all along and I never realized it. Instead of only thinking about the subject matter that Adam needs to cover through twelfth grade, I’ve been praying more for direction to teach him in a way that makes it easier to do the work God calls him to as an adult. I want him to have a good grasp on all the fundamentals, but I also want him to be able to pursue areas where he is naturally more gifted. Not at all in a way that boxes him in or that steers him toward an end result, but in a way that allows him to capitalize on his strengths. So much of this happens naturally in our children, we just need to be aware of it so that adequate resources are available to them. I try to stay very quiet about this fact since Adam is pretty much convinced he could quit Math for life since he’s planning to either be a roofer or own a ranch. A little story lesson about buying a horse for $100, paying $25 / bag for 20 bags of feed, paying himself wages to live and whether or not re-selling the horse for $150 six months later would be a profit was all it took to convince him that at least a little more Math may be necessary.
Some of the things I consider downsides to homeschooling are things I can’t replicate. Things like healthy competition and the natural enthusiasm for school that comes from doing things with your friends. Group games are next to impossible with two kids and oral book reports don’t teach you as much about public speaking when you’re talking to your family. End of the year programs that require singing and reciting in front of a large audience, the feeling of independence fostered by the simple act of leaving home and being completely responsible for yourself every day …. but perhaps the biggest of all is not being taught by a plethora of teachers who each have unique abilities, talents, and love for different subjects that overlap gaps made by one another. I hear adults say, “I’ve always tried to keep my handwriting neat because my fourth-grade teacher drilled it into us,” or “My seventh grade teacher inspired me to love algebra as much as she did.” Here there is only me, myself, and I with my love of Science and Literature and who is going to stop us from having a school that rumbles and jumps like a washer carrying an unbalanced load? If you’re a home-schooling parent, I’d love to hear how you compensate.
Also, if you don’t use My Father’s World for History, I’d love to hear what you use! The children’s sections of the libraries close to me are not exactly stellar and it’s hard to fill gaps with great reading material. Because of that, I am looking for a complete History program, preferably with a full-color textbook. Any suggestions? Oh yes, and I’d love to hear how independent your third and fourth graders are with their work and how you motivate your children to stick with their work instead of messing around? I’ll happily store all the tips you can give me. Meanwhile, I’m going to shelve thoughts of school along with the textbooks and {live} this summer.
I enjoyed reading this SO much! We’re only in Kindergarten this year, but I have attempted to make even this much like school as possible, just to give ME an idea of what it would be like would we continue homeschooling. We’ve used the Abeka DVDs, which for us are so wonderful. With three children, there is just no way I could give Zoe the education myself that I would want to – with the DVDs I’m still involved but not the teacher, and I kind of like that there is a different authority figure for teaching. 🙂 I love the opportunities homeschooling gives to pursue their unique giftings and talents. I dislike that there aren’t opportunities for team efforts, sports, learning to get along with a wide range of personalities and people… There are such things as homeschool co-ops, which are very exciting and interesting to me. It’s just that there are FAR away, and it would be a huge commitment for me. Anyway, I’ve love to talk this stuff in real life! 🙂
I keep thinking about the Abeka DVDs. They seem like such an answer for moms who are super busy or who, like myself, aren’t naturally inclined toward teaching. 😉 And you nailed so much of what I’ve been feeling all year with that little thought about having a different authority figure for teaching. I think that is even bigger than the teaching itself. In the classroom, teachers have that nice little distinction of being this cool, automatically loved person who doesn’t also remind you to make your bed and pick up your toys. I would love to talk about this is in real life … in my dreams, I’d get to spend about four hours with about a dozen other homeschool moms who are passionate about educating (and parenting) well.
Oh, one more thing – your school room looks SO exciting and fresh! It’s such a great room – I love how you decorated and styled it!
Thanks! It’s the one end wall of our living room and while it looks kind of busy, I’ve been glad it blends as well as it does because it is *always* visible. That’s the other downside to homeschooling that Adam talked about. Even on vacation, you still see school. 🙂
Oh my. There’s so much I could say. You put a lot of my thoughts into words. We have used My Father’s World for history and I really liked it but felt like I had to work to make the Science happen because !. I don’t care for Science and 2. it wasn’t spelled out for me very well. This year we switched to Abeka history and Science and while it’s much more traditional, text books, quizzes, tests, etc. I have really liked the structure and completeness of it. We are planning to use that again this fall unless something else comes up.
As far as the gaps that happen when it’s just Mom, I’m not sure how to reckon w/ those either. Ideally there would be a homeschool co-op or support group you could get involved w/ but that’s something I have yet to do. We are w/ a support group but not where my kids take classes. I’ve heard many times that if my children have an interest in something they will pursue it and learn about it.
We do rewards systems here every school year. Last year they got points for good grades, perfect Bible Memory, being done in a timely manner, respectful, etc. We set a goal and did something really fun as a family when the goal was met. We all compiled our points for one lump sum. This year we had a snack basket and at 10:30 break, if they had no marks, they could pick out a snack from the basket. It worked surprisingly well. One year we had points which could then be redeemed at the ‘school store’. Motivation is huge!
Even though I have 5 years under my belt, I still consider myself to constantly be learning new things…mostly about God and my need for Him in this sometimes messy job of homeschooling my kids. Hugs to you.
This is good stuff! I switched to Abeka’s Science about a month into the game because My Father’s World felt too weak. I’ve heard Abeka is fairly patriotic and I’ve been hoping for a more global approach to History. What did you think about that part of it?
I love your marks / snack basket idea! Adam would be all into snacks! I’ll have to remember that for next year.
You go girl, because I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be cut out for this!! Hope you have a wonderfully free summer!
Pretty sure I’m not cut out for it either, but sometimes you do it anyway. I’m still kind of surprised I survived. 🙂
I just found your blog and it’s so beautiful! I have enjoyed poking around a bit 🙂
My boys are much younger than yours (completing K and pre K … though both were exceptionally laid back). I will be doing Story of the World with my guys for history – there is the actual book, an audio book (identical to the book, read by Jim Weiss) an activity book (I don’t own it yet, but it’s on my list to get) and a test booklet I think. (I won’t be testing, rather I’ll use narration.)
We have already listened through the audiobook 1.5 times as my guys LOVE audiobooks during Lego time, but next school year we’ll repeat it, going slower and doing the corresponding activities.
I’ve been hearing a little about Story of the World but didn’t realize there is an audio book to go with it. That sounds fabulous! I’m going to check into that. We’re going to be doing 4th grade and K next year so an audio book they could listen to independently would give me structured time with the other. I love that idea. Oh, and thanks for the blog compliment. It’s always fun meeting new friends here. 🙂
I loved reading about your year and can relate to a lot of your thoughts! I also am a nurse and never thought I would make a teacher! Until our oldest was several years old, I thought homeschoolers were too weird, etc!
But, here we are! We have always homeschooled ours, this year it was a girl in 4th, girl in 5th, and boy in 6th. And our 5 yo girl did first grade reading. She was ready and begging, so that gives us a good start on next year!
We go to a homeschool group that we love, Anabaptist families with a lot of children our children’s ages. Mom enjoys getting to talk to the other moms as much as anything! We get together most Monday evenings in the spring and fall, and have Music class ( a younger class and an older class) with talented teachers. This is a real benefit for our family as hubby and I are not too specially inclined to music! We also have gym. Our children enjoy being with the other children, and don’t always enjoy the games, like volleyball on little children’s baseball, so we don’t force them to play. Our oldest son would just as soon ride his ripstik than learn all the correct basketball. That’s ok, because I’ve realized he’s like his dad. They would just as soon be sitting in a tree stand or some other more alone adventure, and have no inclinations to be super good at tournaments someday! Sometimes we go on field trips together, have an old fashioned school day at an old schoolhouse, and such.
We also have a literary night, where each family/child shares up front: songs, poems, etc. Two years our 3 oldest and Tony memorized and recited “The Big Brag” by Dr. Suess. We can invite family and friends and it gives the children a chance to be up front.
We also have a very close church fellowship where some homeschool/some don’t and families sometimes have an opportunity to participate in services. Also, we have a children’s ministry that opens up lots of opportunities!
We have always used MFW history until the last 2 years we used Living History Threads from Faith Builders. We loved the Anabaptist perspective. It’s similar to MFW in how it’s taught. The grades they say it is for is 1-4, but it’s advanced. I think our children are plenty bright! and they all loved the 4th grade level this year. My friend’s son who is in third grade did the first grade level this year, and he’s a precocious little fellow, and loved it.
One of the reasons we chose to homeschool was because we wanted to teach our children to love learning so they would be free to teach themselves anything they want to learn in life!
I’m no stranger to a son who thinks he doesn’t need this math because he’s going to be a contractor and will never use it! What a reward when one day he announced to Tony that he can figure out how much concrete Tony will need for a round building….. ! Yes, I think he is seeing that this does have a future!
About motivation… Our girls seem to motivate themselves. They can easily be done with chores, housework, and school by 10 and 11 o’clock. The son is just a different story. A lot, but not all, moms agree with this. Our son had fallen half a year behind in math… He could while away HOURS not doing math, acting hopeless! Then since the end of Jan. of this year, he did ALL this year’s math (MathUSee). What made the difference? He was also having some attitude problems… relating to mom… and that has pretty much disappeared also. Is he maturing? Tony also made a strict schedule for him on his time, sat down and helped him make a schedule with very exact times for everything, agreeing on reasonable times for getting everything done. He would earn a point for everything done by the time, and lose a pt. for each 5 min. late… He can accumulate points for things like going to work with Tony, going on a turkey hunt, helping Grandpa farm, etc. He wasn’t sure about this at first, and neither were we- our goal is for him to motivate himself, not by us, but this really did set him free! He feels free, and acts free. He loves this, and I am so thankful and impressed with my husband for thinking this up! We are praying that this will help him to get a vision for motivating himself! Hang in there with him, it will come!
God bless your journey! Very rarely do I feel like I could just send them to school. And the feeling soon passes!
It was great reading all your tips about homeschooling! Thanks for sharing. The co op sounds like a fabulous solution. We are part of a homeschool group and I did take Adam there for art for awhile until it got a lot easier to do lessons privately. They also do field trips and a few other events, but often it’s hard to fit it in around all the camp activities plus school. I keep trying to tell myself he is learning a lot from those activities, too, so hopefully it will help to compensate a little. At least he has plenty of social life, even if it’s not as structured as a school event would be. 😉 I love the schedule you had with points and a reward system. That’s a great idea.
I think I have your love/hate relationship with homeschooling. Often homeschooling is my favorite part of the day. It feels like I’m doing something that matters compared to so much of homemaking. But it is also exhausting. And on bad days I wonder if I’m ruining my children. Right now, I’m just glad for break of summer!
On history, we have used Story of the World for the last three years (Volumes 1-3) and enjoyed it. I like the way it touches on history beyond just the US. I liked that it was simple to use, just open up and read, with no prep for me. My children enjoyed hearing it like a story. But I felt like it wasn’t enough alone so did use a lot of library books besides. (And on libraries…have you looked into inter-library loan? I go online, order books from my library system -which includes the libraries from two counties- and they have the books all ready in a stack for me to pick up! A life saver for a mom with four children, and gives me a lot wider variety than my small town library.)
Also Story of the World isn’t from a Christian perspective, certainly not an Anabaptist viewpoint. I love FaithBuilder’s Threads, but the cost is prohibitive. But I use the Thread’s book list to find books to supplement our history study with books from a Christian/Anabaptist view.
Another history option that my mom has used is Mystery of History. It is from a decidedly Christian viewpoint, and even includes the Anabaptist side of the Reformation. My 14 year-old sister just told me that she reads the Mystery of History books just for fun!
We have a small informal homeschool support group that has helped us feel like we are filling in some social holes. We meet once a month at a gym to do some organized group games that are impossible for just a family and also give time for the students to share book reports, memorization in front of a group.
If you figure out how to motivate your child, I hope you share! I’d like them to be self-motivated without stickers, snacks, and other rewards. But sometimes it feels like all I’m doing all day long is pushing them to get their work done. I did find that it helped to put a desk in my daughter’s room and send her there with a couple assignments. If I wasn’t sitting beside her, she found out that she could do the work independently. And she would watch the clock in her room to see if she could finish it by a certain time.
But my seven year old son is another story. It is very hard for him to stay focused. Maybe next year?
Gina