A 40th birthday celebration

Back in September my friend, Jeanne, was talking about how she’d thrown a fortieth birthday party for her husband, Keith.  Now he was wanting to do the same thing for her and stressing about how to make it happen.  I jokingly said, “Oh tell him I want to help.”  The more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn’t joking.  It really would be a lot of fun.  I sent him a text in early November and told him if he wanted a party planner I’d love to help.  He was delighted; but hardly as much as I was.

Plan a fun party about the time the doldrums of winter are setting in? Yes, please! Plus, I knew it would give me something pretty and fun to focus on during the hardest part of my pregnancy.  Our mutual friend, Nola, offered to help which made my job so much easier.  I got to know Keith and Jeanne almost seven years ago when I wrote a piece of their story.  Getting to know someone on such an intimate level does something to bond your hearts quickly.  They’ve been friends of ours ever since.  But sometimes, like when planning a party, I realize how much our relationship developed on a heart level first.  I didn’t know her favorite foods or colors; so having a friend step in who knows her so much better than I do was amazing.  Plus, Nola is a genius in the kitchen which is clearly not my forte.  Cha ching.

Keith gave us a guest list and answered a few questions about whether he wants a formal dinner or a fun come and go type of event, but other than that, he pretty much turned us loose.  And oh, did we have fun!

Because Jeanne loves blues and we were planning an early January event, it seemed like a natural fit to incorporate snowflakes, aqua, a touch of silver, and lots of white.

If you don’t know Keith and Jeanne, the best way I know to describe them is outgoing, friendly, generous, and fun.  You know how often people marry their opposites? Well, Keith and Jeanne definitely aren’t carbon copies of each other, but they both love being with people. Sometimes when I was running party plans around in my mind, my thoughts kept going to Jeanne and how much she embodies what the word friendship really means.  She is always thoughtful of others, asking how they are, giving little gifts, finding ways to care for and bless others.  She’s the first person I thought of when the neurologist called and said I need you to have Zara in the ER by 5:00 because I knew that not only would she stop and drop to take care of our boys, her heart would understand mine without us needing to talk about it.  She’s the friend who remembers little things, who enjoys your kids, and checks in with a text if she doesn’t hear from you for awhile.  But when she first talked about the possibility of Keith doing a party for her she said, “If anyone throws a party for me, I don’t want any gifts.” It seemed a bit strange coming from someone who loves to give to others; but it made a lot of sense when we asked her more about it.  “I love to give gifts; but I just don’t ever want my friends to feel obligated to give me a gift.”   We really wanted to respect her wishes, but still have her go home with something tangible so we sent out blank cards with the invitations and asked people to share memories or a blessing on her life. Words of life and blessing are sometimes one of the most meaningful gifts of all; and sometimes the one we most forget to give to others.

The hardest part was going to be surprising Jeanne.  She is incredibly intuitive and because she is such a caring person, she stays in touch with her friends a lot.  Living over an hour away, I knew I was pretty safe unless I inadvertently sent a text to her instead of Keith. Being virtually next door, Nola had a tougher time keeping everything out of sight when Jeanne would pop in out of the blue.  It was so much fun having her actually be so surprised! I think she herself was surprised at being surprised! 🙂  A few days before her party, she switched a child’s birthday party to that night and Keith wisely let her go.  So instead of suspiciously looking for something to happen the morning of her party, she was busily making taco soup and cake.

Jeanne’s local friends helped with food {we could never have made so many fun dishes for a crowd of fifty by ourselves} and our husbands were amazing … hanging lights and tulle with precision, running after balloons, making jalapeño poppers, capping strawberries … if it needed to be done, they did it.

You know how sometimes you plan an event and then when it happens, you wish you would have done something differently? This was one of those times when it felt like everything happened perfectly.  Well, aside from the fact that I should have given myself an extra hour on Saturday and the fact that the whipping cream I stabilized suddenly decided to go wibbly wobbly; but that’s pretty minor.  It was pretty and sparkly just like we’d hoped.  The food was delightful to look at and even more fun to eat.

And everywhere you turned, there were little groups of friends talking and laughing and having a great time.

I remember during the planning process thinking about Keith and Jeanne … about how much they love each other and love to surprise each other with little things.  But I also thought about how much they shower love on others.  When I imagined what they would want if they verbalized it I could hear Keith wanting the party to be about celebrating Jeanne’s life; but I could also hear them both wanting it to be a wonderful time for all their friends who came.  Because that’s who they are.  That night, surrounded by so much happiness, I couldn’t help but savor how much friendship is a gift that gives full circle.

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