A Collection of Boy Quotes

There are random papers floating around the house with quotes from the boys scribbled on them and it’s time to get them into one, retrievable location.  Have a chuckle if you need one!

We absolutely love having guests.  But if you come, please, please come prepared.  I told a friend the other day one of the parenting issues I still struggle with most is just having NO idea at all what will come out of the boy’s mouths, Adam’s especially.  It’s one of those odd situations where it’s not mean, just, well, odd and forthright and sometimes embarrassing.  Please just know in advance that he probably either thinks of it as neutral or a compliment ….or more likely doesn’t think at all!

Last summer when Durlin and Emily were here, we were enjoying a leisurely supper outdoors at the picnic table.  Metri, Xander, and Liam had scrambled down to play while we adults relaxed around the table.  Adam decided to stay with us.  When there was a lull in the conversation, Adam, with tremendous expression, said, “Emily …. I’m just looking at your blue eyes.”

The next day at lunch time, in that pregnant pause between the amen of grace and the moment when everyone starts talking and reaching for food, he piped up with “I just thought of a Bible verse for this.  Well, no, I guess it doesn’t really fit.  {pause} Well, I guess I’ll just say it anyway.  If your enemy hungers, feed him.”

Last fall when Tim and Rachel came to visit we were about to head out the door to Cumberland to take some pictures in the historical section of town.  Rachel chose a darling dress with vintage vibes.  Adam took a good look at her as she was collecting jackets for the children and said, “You look just like a woman in Chicago in the ’70’s.”

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One night I asked Adam to fry the hamburger while I was doing something else.  He kept running into the living room and needing to be called back to the kitchen.  On one return he said, “I’m reading Encyclopedia Brown and it’s addictive.  Kind of like morphine.”

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There has been a great deal of baby talk around here.  The boys are still in disbelief that we will actually have a baby because somehow they seem more acquainted with baby death than baby birth.  They still talk about the two babies we lost and in the last two years we’ve been to two funerals of baby’s who went straight to God.

Almost every week one or the other of them will ask, “Is the baby dead yet?”  One day during school Adam asked, “Is this baby actually going to live?”

“I hope so!” I said.

“Well,” he said a bit nonchalantly, “the last two died.”

Liam looked up from across the table, furrowed his forehead a bit and said, “Two? I thought it was more like thirty-six.”

Around thirty weeks or so I also heard them talking about when the baby would come.  I was trying to explain that the baby was still much too premature to come now and maybe it wouldn’t even live if it was born so early.

“Oh, yeah,” Adam said, “it would have to be on an aerator.”  (Apparently we do more yard work than medical talk around here.) 🙂

There is an equal amount of talk about my enormous size.  Adam looked at me one day and said, “After you have the baby, will you start thinning down?”

Or the time he said, “Is that the fattest you’ve ever been?”  Well, yes, bud, thanks for asking.  “Maybe you’ll win the world’s record for fattest pregnancy.”

But that was mild compared to a few mornings later as I was making omelets.  He took a good look and said, “Did you have the baby last night and that’s still just your winter fat?”

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I love when the boys botch words.  Liam’s current misuse is “forch nut” for fortunate.

As in, “Every time I see muffins I’m just SO forch nut.  So can I have one when I get home because I’m just so forch nut.”

Or when I was asking Adam about school versus homeschooling and whether the subjects were more interesting in one or the other and he said, “Oh my word, yes, this!”

How is that?

“In school we didn’t really do Reading.  We just read a short story and compromised it.”

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Speaking of homeschool versus school conversations.  Last year it was all about school and this year suddenly homeschool is his favorite.  I’d like to take this and run with it, but the truth is, he’s probably just forgotten school a lot more.

When I asked him for a list of pros and cons he couldn’t come up with anything for school except that he got to see his friends all the time.  I could definitely help him out with that list, but I’ll refrain since it’s not an option right now. 😉

But he likes homeschooling because:

:: you get a longer break

:: you make your corrections right away (“you have no idea how painful it is to make corrections the next morning before school”)

:: you get to see your family more

::have a mom for a teacher because she knows how much to push you (score!)

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One day when his Grandpa and Grandma Beachy were here to help with the basement we were plowing through school work so he could go join the men.  Like he often does, Adam wrote a “d” when he meant to write a “b”.  This is never a huge problem because he sees his error as soon as he does it.  But it does happen frequently and it makes him grumpy.

“UUUUUUUGh,” he said in disgust.  “I think I have that disease where you get your d’s and b’s backward …..”

Me: “dyslexia?”

A: “yes”

Me: “Well, not badly because you recognize it right away … maybe it’s floating around in your gene pool but it’s not fully expressed ….”

A: “Well, maybe I should quit wearing jeans all the time.  Maybe I should just start wearing pants (black slacks) like Grandpa Beachy does.”

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Liam was sitting on the back of the loveseat while I read stories to him when I noticed he was picking at his toenails.

Me: “Liam, don’t pick your toenails.”

Liam in complete indignation: “I’m not picking them.  I’m just adjusting them.”

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Adam while playing with a tractor that had a wobbly wheel:  “This tractor tire just isn’t being very loyal.”

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I was so worried that we’d get finished with the basement and the boys would refuse to move down out of fear.  Liam would never go downstairs alone for anything and even Adam seemed hedgy about it after dark.  Frankly, I still don’t like dark, unfinished basements myself.  I’d toyed with the idea of David and I moving downstairs and got vetoed strongly by everyone else in the house.  My worries were COMPLETELY in vain.  The boys absolutely love it downstairs and spend way more time down there than they do up here now that it has carpet.  We moved in Thursday night and Adam quickly said he planned to just live down there except for meals.  As soon as we had their room set up they literally sat in there for the next hour, Liam strumming his guitar and Adam engrossed in a childcraft book from his nightstand he never paid a minute’s attention to while it was upstairs.  Their room up here was boring.  I painted it white thinking I’d keep it more gender neutral.  I was planning to paint a tree and an owl on one wall and add color in a few other ways but last summer went crazy and I never got it done.  They never liked their room.  Downstairs, their room is not only brand new, it’s navy and all boy.  To say they’re thrilled is an understatement.  Adam says it’s his favorite room in the house.  It’s so much fun to hear them exclaim over it, but my favorite moment came after their first night of sleeping downstairs.  All night.  No nightmares.  They woke up and instead of tearing out to the living room, they stayed in their room for a bit talking and laughing.  After about twenty minutes Liam came stomping up the steps and bam went the toilet lid.  When he finished his necessary work in the bathroom he came out to where David and I were and gave an indignant shake to both his head and his hand.  “WHEN can you guys get that bathroom finished downstairs?”  We’re working on it bud, but we need a few more days til the vanity and the toilet come.  And just as quickly he turned around and headed right back downstairs to the favorite room of the house.  The good news in Liam’s words: “Well, I got my hope.”  What was that? “I hoped we would get to move into our bedroom before the baby comes.”

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Adam claims winter is his favorite season; but I think even the biggest winter lovers are running out of love this year.  He looked out the window, gave his head a little shake as though to clear the visual, and said, “I just wish I could glance away and look back and it would be 60 degrees and lush out there.”  Me, too!

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Funny or not, sometimes there is a great deal of truth in their statements.  Like this one from Adam:

“The bad thing about Mommies getting tired is that they put their children to bed earlier.”

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