An everlasting sign
It’s been so dark. Just complete and utter silence from God.
I pulled myself vertical in the morning and reached for my Bible, aimlessly flipping it open, not knowing what I was even looking for. I stopped to read a page and realized what I was reading.
“Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the Lord, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off. ” Isaiah 55:12-13 I didn’t even ask. My heart leaped in my chest and I knew God wanted me to believe.
Liam was our miracle baby. It seemed perhaps Adam was going to grow up alone. I begged God over and over for just one more child. No answer. Please just let him have one sibling. One morning I distinctly felt God asking me to pray that we would conceive a baby that month. “I can’t,” I said. I’ve been disappointed so many times I don’t think I can handle the disappointment if you say no again. I’m afraid I won’t believe in you anymore. The command was so clear. “I want you to ask me to conceive this month.”
“Help me,” I cried. Slowly, haltingly, I started to utter the words and the dam of tears broke loose. Instantly the room was warm and bright with rich sunlight and I felt a flush in my abdomen. Several times the next few weeks when David would pray I would feel a slight flush. Was God really talking to me? That month there was a purple positive on the stick.
Now here I was again, desperately longing for a word from God for Liam. And here it was.
David had asked the boys to get a few songs ready to play at our outdoor church small group gathering. As I listened to the songs they chose I marveled at their faith. How, as a teenager and preteenager, did they already have such profound confidence in God? Tears overwhelmed me as I listened to them lead our group in worship, “Oh, death where is your sting? Oh grave, where is your victory? Oh, church, come stand in the light. Our God is not dead. He’s alive, he’s alive!”
At the end of the evening, Paul asked if he could lay hands on Liam and pray. He rebuked the cancer in his leg with authority. If there’s one small thing I’ve learned about prayer in the past ten years it is this. When God asks me to pray a certain way, I need to pray that. Sometimes I feel a need to ask God to help us to submit to something. Sometimes I feel a need to ask for or declare something with authority. Most of the time, I don’t have a strong sense and I think that is also God, teaching us to find our way to Him. But when I sense something, I need to personally pray that thing in obedience. For that reason, I hesitate to ask people to pray a certain way. I hope that when I share requests regarding Liam, that people will pray as God leads them. I loved that Paul prayed with authority because he sensed God asking him to do so.
As I rocked Harrison to sleep that night, our pastor’s wife sent me a message saying she was praying for us and as she prayed she looked past at her open Bible and saw this verse.
