Boys Camp defined

Boys camp has taken over an enormous part of our lives and it is only fair to assume it may also take over a large part of my words.  Some days, perhaps merely a casual reference; other days an entire post.  Perhaps a bit of definition is in order.

Camp is a therapeutic wilderness residential camping program for boys who are emotionally and behaviorally disturbed.  Currently there are nine year round camps in our association …. a boys camp in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Maryland, North and South Carolina, Florida, and Ireland and a girls camp in North and South Carolina.  A camp in Canada runs a similar program although only during the summer months.  The boys come from families with diverse demographics financially, functionally, and geographically.  But the boys themselves share two things in common.

One, they aren’t able to coexist peacefully with their families any longer because of their behavior.  Sometimes it’s because of circumstances.  We see boys who are suffering from the after effects of physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse.  We see boys who are scarred from rejection or negligence prior to their adoption.  We see boys who would have been fine if their families were more functional …. if only there were security instead of drugs, divorce,  and near homelessness.  Sometimes it’s organic.  We see boys diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, and ODD among others.  Irregardless of the root cause, these families are desperate.  They’ve tried everything and camp is their last resort.

Two, they are willing to work on their problems.  No one can force a boy to come to camp.  Not mom and dad, not grandparents, not camp staff, not even the judge (although there are boys who are ordered there by the judge because they choose camp over a detention center).  Living at camp looks like a lot of fun on the surface.  Who doesn’t want to hang out with other guys your age and go canoeing or hiking?  Living in a tent looks like a lot of fun in the summer time.  But, coming to camp isn’t just swimming and not going to school; it’s a lot of hard work physically.  Most difficult of all, it’s being willing to work on your own problems in a big way.  It’s learning to accept when someone else calls a problem on you and to admit you were wrong.  It’s learning to respect authority.  It’s learning how to talk about your emotions and finding healthy ways to cope with life instead of exploding verbally and physically every time something looks like your definition of wrong.  That’s not easy.

Once a boy comes to camp, he lives with a group of boys who are similar in age and physical ability.  The group lives in a campsite in the woods … sort of the outdoor version of your house only there are separate tents instead of interconnected rooms.  There are sleep tents (currently the “windows” are closed in by clear plastic because it’s wintertime),

a cook tent,

a chuck tent (for eating / crafts / school work),

a personal hygiene tent,

an entrance tent

and wood corral.

Up to ten boys live here with two counsellors we call chiefs.  Interestingly, the name chief has nothing to do with Indians and living in the woods, but rather is used as a term of respect that is less formal than Mister.  Whether your a chief in the woods or the maintenance man, you’ll still get called chief.  And if you’re a woman, your name gets prefaced with Miss whether you’re married or single, the all-important cook or simply the wife of a family worker.

The boys eat at the big central chuckwagon five days a week where Miss Esther and Miss Katie make fabulous food for them.  On Wednesday and Thursday, they cook their own food over a fire in the woods.  The boys take turns creating menus and being in charge of the meal.  They learn about budgets and food groups and attention to detail.  If someone wants eggs and sausage and they forget to order the sausage, they eat eggs without sausage.  They also get to be creative and feel ownership in a meal that gets rave reviews. Other than that, their days are a mixture of splitting wood, solving problems, playing group games, learning skills like carving, solving problems, swimming, rambling through the woods, solving problems, writing plans for the next week, solving problems.  Did I mention solving problems?  There’s a lot of that in case you hadn’t noticed.

There are two rules at camp.  You do it as a group and you do it with a good attitude.  That’s it.  I find it fascinating that camp is filled with boys who will happily break every rule ever written … but it’s a place in open woods with no fences or gates and very few locks.  To me, that says as much about the mentality of camp as all the brochures and explanations.  Camp is about building trust.  It’s about expecting a boy to do well and teaching him responsibility when he fails.  Camp is also about helping families change so that a boy can be successful when he goes home.  That’s why we’re here.  David is involved in family work which includes doing the initial interviews to see if a boy qualifies for camp and being the line of communication between the boys and their families.  The boys and their families write letters to each other and every six weeks, the boys go home for a five day home visit to help them implement what they’re learning.  Other than that, it’s someone in family work who communicates by phone to keep the parents updated on what is going on via phone and in home visits.

How is that for a super brief introduction to camp?  It feels as though I’ve given you the skeleton …. a tiny bit of the cold, hard framework that makes up the internal structure of camp.  But it does so little to describe camp because camp gets fleshed out in less bony ways.  Camp is singing.  It’s enthusiasm.  It’s a tiny fire at pow wow every night as the boys evaluate their day with their chiefs just before bed. Camp is walking down trail in a straight line and learning state capitols at sharing time in chuckwagon.  It’s party night before home visit and jumping on an ice raft and building tents.  Camp is dealing with runaways and kids who lose control when they are angry.  It’s seeing a boy learn to trust adults and feel safe enough to act out and then to finally talk about what is going on inside of his heart.  Most of all, camp is a lot of love and patience and showing the right way.  Over and over and over again.  Camp is praying and loving and redirecting and believing in and having fun.  Camp is just, well, camp.  You have to experience it to understand.  Until you can come visit, I’ll be happy to answer any questions!

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