Friday March 12, 2010
In my opinion, normal life is just the greatest life on earth. Whenever I say I want normal life there is always someone who says, “Oh, what is normal?” and “Normal always changes.”
(Adam thinks this picture taking thing is great. He now insists that I pose for him “here” and look like “this” which most times means arms crossed and mad. He’s hysterical.)
Which is true. But I don’t know how else to describe our little family just living, well, normal life!
The two weeks prior to this one have been just crazy, crazy. Way too many places to go, people to see, jobs to do, obligations, and imminent deadlines. We had an evening financial seminar at church one week from Wednesday through Sunday. I absolutely loved our time there. Honestly. But the speaker went overtime by a half hour every service, it was full moon that week and the boys went nuts jumping off all our furniture, waking up an hour earlier then normal every morning and barely sleeping at naptime in spite of their very, very late bedtimes thanks to church. (Don’t ask me why. They don’t do that every full moon; but as soon as it was over they settled down.) I thought my sanity would explode with the effort of keeping their bodies intact.
Does it not seem like the most unfair thing to you that the days and weeks when we are the busiest, all the housework mulitiplies? Seriously. I could not keep my house cleaned up that week (or the next) for anything. Coming downstairs to a mess every morning is depressing. By Monday we’d recreated the Himalayas with laundry piles, David had a mentoring meeting in the evening, and I’d just found out a few days prior that it was my turn to have devotions at the church sewing Tuesday. And so the week continued with more things piled on top of more things on top of more things on top of more things. It didn’t help that I’d been dragging around with the flu and relapses of it for the last month. The boys and I missed the meeting Saturday night because I was running a fever again.
By the time the weekend rolled around, we were at least looking at fun things to do even if it meant more going away. Friday night David and I were invited to a sweetheart banquet an hour and a half away. We loved it! It was so much fun to go somewhere just the two of us and we got to meet some new, fun people, too. But oh, my word, talk about overextending the babysitting. I thought we’d be back by 9:30 or so and instead we were leaving the banquet about then with an hour and a half drive home! We picked up the boys and rolled them into bed. Jo, you have hours of babysitting credits at my house!
Saturday morning we met up with my sister, Beth, and family at a children’s museum. When we originally planned the outing, I didn’t think the week would turn out the way it did or we’d never have planned it. But we weren’t about to break a promise to the kids just because we were tired. The kids had so much fun it was unbelievable.
That night we drove to my parent’s place instead of home which was just the most relaxing, wonderful thing ever. My uncle and his wife were in the area so they joined us for supper and we had the greatest time talking and laughing and catching up. Mom fixed a special version of supper for Liam and for once I actually truly had a break from fixing food. It was amazing. Then she got even more super amazing and showed me the allergen free ice cream cones she’d found at the grocery store. We quickly popped one of his flavored goat milk yogurts into the freezer in hopes that it would harden before dessert time. It didn’t; but he slurped it up delightedly anyway ~ his very first ice cream cone!!! 
The next day was just pure relaxation. Church with Mom and Dad, catching up just a little with an old friend, amazing food, happy kids, and warm sunshine. Oh, Spring. How I do love you.
And now we’ve had a whole week of what I call our normal and I am starting to feel amazingly rejuvenated in my spirit. Instead of going away every single day, we’ve stayed at home except for one evening birthday party. The mountains of laundry have disappeared and even the guest closet jammed full of clothes to be ironed is clear. My long, long to-do list is three quarters of the way checked off even though the boys and I have taken time to go on walks and to the park and read lots of stories. I enjoyed cooking dinner every night and on Adam’s suggestion, used china last night just because instead of throwing some food on the table as quickly as I could get it together.
The best gift of all came yesterday morning when the boys both slept til after 9. You know how you come to depend on that little break you get when they take a nap and how crazy you feel when you don’t get it? Well, when I get an extra hour, it feels crazy good! I sat down with a cup of tea and my Bible and a new journal (funny how new paper and a pen can make me ridiculously happy) and just soaked in that extra hour.
That’s normal life for us. Happy. Together. With enough time to enjoy just doing normal things. I love having time to call Adam to the door to listen to the spring peepers. I love thinking about the flavor of my coffee instead of gulping it down so I wake up enough to function. I love noticing the way the warm afternoon light streams through the door instead of racing past on my way up the stairs. And best of all, I love having my brain relaxed and free so that I really notice the cute things the boys are doing instead of just checking in to make sure they aren’t in trouble.
Our neighbor is going through a mean separation from his third wife. Earlier some things had happened and we were sure he was at the end of his rope. Now, to us, it looks like the ends are fraying. Tuesday night when David stopped in he was crying and just completely done in. He’d been drinking and didn’t want to talk then so David invited him to come for dinner and to talk the next evening. We went to bed praying that he wouldn’t do something desperate in the interim. By Wednesday evening he’d regrouped and for over three hours we sat at the dinner table and listened to parts of his life. At the end, I said, “I’ve had some really painful things in my life … enough to know what happens when you get hurt. But I cannot imagine a lifetime of pain and being hurt and taken advantage of by almost every single person around you.” To which he said, “I’ve only told you the tip of the iceberg.”
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard a rough story. But it’s the first time I’ve heard it without redemption at the end. You know, we usually hear the conversion story. And all my friends and their friends have mostly good stories. Well, 98% of them. There are a few really raw stories of emotional pain; but they are usually inflicted by one or two people in that persons life. Not one person pitted against the world. He’s angry at people and at God. Who could blame him for feeling that way? He equates God with people who go through the motions of “church life” and every encounter he has had with “God” has left him with a bitter taste in his mouth for good reason.
Ever since that night I cannot stop grappling with this question. How would I be convinced that God is a good God if I would have lived through what he has lived through? We say we believe that God is good. We say that God “lets it rain on the just and on the unjust.” We believe that God is good even when our prayers are not answered the way we want them. We cling to God in the face of trauma, death, financial loss, and hurt. Rightly so. But how much of what I believe to be true and what I cling to when stuff gets rough is because of what I have seen God do in the past? What if there were no history like that for me?
I know the right answers. And I believe them. I believe God is bigger then his horrible life and the choices he is still making. But knowing how hard I have grappled with the fundamental belief that God is good when life is horrible for a period of time, I keep wondering how I would believe if life would always have been horrible. Especially when that horrible was masked in Christianity.
More then ever yesterday, I could not stop being grateful for normal. Happy. Together. Living normal life. It’s not fair. But what a gift.
Good post, Michelle! You’re right that life isn’t fair, and how grateful I am that it isn’t! So thankful for the mercy of God!
great post! I can totally identify with loving ‘normal’ life. Although it often sounds like you all are busier than I ever am. 🙂 Cute pics, too. Love the ones of the boys jumping off the couch. So carefree.
glad for that you have normal— for awhile:)! I love it too! and yes, HARD questions about life and God~ bless you as you guys minister to your neighbor man!
Great post, Michelle. I too, happen to LOVE normal life. To have time to ENJOY things. Amen. And those questions…I’ve thought about it too how trite and pat and naive our answers sound in the ears of someone who has had NOTHING but pain…I pray God’s infinite wisdom to you as you reach out to this man. Good food for thought for me, too.
Your boys jumping off the couch, yes, that is ‘normal’ here at my house, too. ‘Normal’ also means that no one is sick!
This week is being one of those crazy weeks, and next week will be worse b/c of revival meetings. I’m trying to get in the right mind frame for that!! Now, it’s off to fry burger for the school sale tonight….
Normal. That word makes me laugh!
And somedays it also makes me cry. It’s so relative…and not always what I had in mind! chuckle.
I really enjoyed reading about your normal…and can appreciate your joy over a sleeping-in-till-9-gift!
Your last few paragraphs…h.a.r.d. stuff…and good thoughts…
It’s one thing to be in the classroom setting and say… Yes! God is good. All the time. And of course I won’t participate in slander, practice situational ethics or communicate judgement. I’ll just love with the love of Jesus. That’ll be me!!!
And then. The laboratory. The hands-on nitty-gritty of real life stuff. Where the classroom ideas and formulas are tested and proven… but not in the ways we had in mind…and seemingly never in our time frame.
Blessings to you…my new xanga friend :)… and thanks for praying for Monica.
Beautiful pictures. In LOVE the picture of you and your husband! Michelle, you look like you could be 21!
I meant “I LOVE the picture…” When will I learn to read my comments before hitting submit??!! 🙁
Very nice post! Am loving normal life over here, too, and today I am especially thankful it’s raining… not snowing!!!
I’m with you on loving life. This weather has seem to have given our whole family a personality transplant(for the better). And prayers for the neighbor man–I really wonder where I would be at with God if I would not have been raised in the setting that i was raised in.
i wonder if my mind has turned to such mush that i can not even formulate a comment? or maybe it is the sound of running feet overhead when it is supposed to be sounds of boys splashing happily in the tub that hinders me? whatever…i can’t put it out in words, but i am mulling over this post and it is getting all mixed up in my friend’s desperate plea the other night, that more anything could we pray that they would get a sign that God is good. and she has reason to wonder. it’s hard. so hard.
I love this peek into your life! And I still want to meet you, you know, meet for real. The other time didn’t count. I love the story of your neighbor man. Makes me think. I love that you’re reaching out to him! God bless you extra special today!
Normal life… just nothing like it. Good post!
Good questions too. I can drive myself crazy trying to answer some of these!
very nice post…loved the pictures!
we’ve been sick around here too – i think we are better now. i hope.
i also hope spring comes early to us here in WI. I need spring and sunny days.
glad you had a good week!
I have to agree that those weeks that speed by are fun but it’s always good to get back to normal and be able to enjoy life instead of running through it.
It is so hard to comprehend that God is good even in the tough times and even harder to try to explain that.
Loved all your pics!! I LOVE “normal” life, too!!! Feels so good when we can go for walks, and bike rides….got my peas in the ground, and I seen they’re sprouted, so…..work will again lift its head =) HAGD!! Kim
After our crazy last weeks, I could so relate with what you were saying, and it brought tears to my eyes! Glad I’m not the only one that like a little normal in my life!!
I’ve been meaning to subscribe to you but kept forgetting with all that has been going on here. So, today is the day. I love your real, honest way of writing. Makes me feel like I’m sitting down and having a conversation with you. 🙂 I like that!
came to see the SHORT michelle. =) you just SEEM like you would be a tall woman, is all i can say in my defense. i am very glad to know this now, because i won’t stare when i meet you. ha
one question. how tall is david?
@mlt10202002 –
I was just going to say, I bet the reason I “look” tall to you is that David is not tall. I think he’s 5’6″ or 7″ I’m really not sure. But he tends to slouch his shoulders forward a little so he often looks a little shorter then he really is.
@down_onthefarm –
@rachi882 –
Thanks! Rachel, not to worry. I write (and talk) too fast often so I can read b/w the letters.
@mlt10202002 –
I am sorry about your friend. Praying for agape love for you. Sometimes being the friend to the friend who is going through the hard time gets really, really tough.
@lwstutz –
Oh, I’d love to meet you, too, someday! Eventually the Beachy reunion will be in Iowa again (actually I think maybe next year?) so it will probably happen one of these days. Do you live in the same area as Gabriel and Sheila?
@mylittlepinkhouse –
So glad you are feeling better!!! Being sick is never fun but being sick and pregnant is a double whammy.
@lifeisadance –
Thanks for those kind words! I love reading your xanga site, too, and Christy says such nice things about you so I always feel like I’ve met you even though I reallyhaven’t!
Glad you could have some quiet, normal days. I’m ready for some as well although my last few weeks haven’t been busy in a bad way, just busy! The children’s museum looks like it has fun, hand’s on stuff to do!
Take care!
The lovely spring temps have rejuvenated life around this house too. In spite of revivals last week I feel like I covered a lot of ground due to the springtime fever. Always love your pictures.
For me, “We don’t have a normal,” somehow has the same effect on me as, “This too shall pass,” and, “from the mouth of babes.”
Did you think about how much Ervin looks like Mom in that picture? I do a double-take when I see it.
I keep forgetting to ask you about that banquet.
@twofus_1 –
Yes, I DO think about Ervin looking like mom every time I see that picture! The banquet was really nice. I can tell you about it sometime if we ever have a lull in the conversation. 😉
@shenklanedairy –
Don’t you just love that energy rush?!
So you too think I look like Ervin in that pic? This was really really a strange moment but when I glanced in the living room at him sitting there I thought I saw myself for just a split second. I have never done anything like that before. It was absurd! In what seemed like a second I had thought I saw myself and said, “no, I’m here. I’m me and he’s a man. whatever.”
@SunshineandShadow –
That’s hysterical!
I also was totally shocked to learn how short you are! I’m with Lisa on that…now I won’t stare in wonder when I meet you and you are 5′ 1″ instead of the 5′ 7″ I imagined. Isn’t that weird how you don’t really know what someone looks like on Xanga? But I figured it must be that David is not very tall and that is really the only thing to compare to for height. Maybe cuz you’re so skinny you look tall. I don’t know? I wonder what other surprises I’ll get if/when I meet Xanga friends for the first time! Anyway, beautiful/lovely, whatever, picture of you and David. And how old are you? You do look VERY young! (Big compliment!) Also, I think it is wonderful that you had your neighbor man over for dinner. I totally get what you mean about those questions and that in your heart you believe God is good and you know the truth, but how much of that is based on past history and experience, and what if you didn’t have that? All I can say about that right now is, you and David keep showing Jesus’ love to him in a big way and maybe you’ll be the ones that will truly show him what God is like. That’s what we’re here for, right? Oh, and I was so agreeing with you in that paragraph about stopping to actually notice things and enjoy them. That is when I am happiest too! Rushing is totally over-rated!
@appalolly –
Rushing is totally over-rated! LOVE that sentence! 🙂 That height thing is hysterical!! Seriously, I am hardly EVER with someone that is shorter then I am … it’s so rare it makes me feel wierd to look down into someone’s eyes unless they’re a kid. Oh, and super big thanks on the young looking compliment. All those days of being guessed 14 instead of 21 are paying off. 🙂 I’ll be 32 on Monday.
love the picture of you and hubby before the banquet. you do look soo young.
I came back to read the “reply” to my comment, and was reading a few of the comments below it. I can’t believe that you’re 32!! Disbelief in a good way, because you DO look so young!! I hope I look that beautiful and ageless when I get there! 🙂
I don’t even know Christy that well, but feel like I do through our interaction over the internet. 🙂 But I have loved getting to know her, and look forward to that with you too!
@Esther_lynn –
@lifeisadance –
ok, you guys seriously flatter me. But I’m just soaking it all in anyway b/c it feels really good. 😉
@smilesbymiles – you go ahead and soak it in, girl. and i hope that my days of being guessed 17 will pay off as well as yours did! 🙂