Monday December 15, 2008
….and it has nothing to do with holiday shopping. David Lee’s surgery to repair his “long-lost” ACL is scheduled for Thursday. To him, it’s no big deal. He plugged it in his palm to remind him of the date and bats the words around as though he were going to McDonalds for lunch. To him, it’s an in and out, some therapy and back on the road.
Not me. I can’t sleep well for the last three weeks. At least five times a day Adam says, “Why do you have your very stern look, Mommy?”
I keep remembering the day the OR kept paging for staff overhead and everyone knew something was drastically wrong. Or the middleaged man who came in for very minor, non-essential to life surgery who did very well until after his discharge the following day. He was walking around his room waiting for transportation to bring a wheelchair to escort him to the front door when he fell over dead. The doctors thought it was related to the anesthesia. He was resuscitated but the long term picture wasn’t pretty.
Mental flashbacks of life after we had our truck accident two years ago haunt me. David Lee broke his hand terribly in two places. David Lee insists this is no comparison. We couldn’t prepare for that, I was terribly sore the first few days myself, we were just starting to build the house and had a deadline to get the foundation in because our basement walls were coming on schedule, terrible financial stress….
All true. I just keep remembering what it is like to go from two running full speed parents who dash out the door to the days of taking forever to get ready because your husband needs his arm wrapped in plastic for his shower, can’t scrub his back or do his shirt buttons. What it’s like to have your husband in serious pain. What it’s like when you’re husband doesn’t take care of himself and goes out to lay block three nights after his break. What it’s like to have your low-maintenance two year old totally flip out at the sudden change in routine and throw multiple tantrums a day … and the responsibility is yours because your husband is there; but not able to take care of it. What it’s like to have a husband at home who is not on mental vacation mind-set and who is going crazy to get back to work.
I can only hope it will be as different as he says. The truth is, Adam is four, not two. And while he survives on routine and order, he does fairly well with change when he is very. very. well prepped verbally. David Lee has had six months to prepare and purposely scheduled this to coincide with Christmas vacation as much as possible. He can get easy work lined up for his guys so he doesn’t have to be there mentally (I hope).
Adam loves to play games and do preschool books so David Lee will be able to do more with him from the sofa. Liam is too young to catch on to any changes in schedule so I’m hoping the boys at least will sort of blip right into this. Still, I know better then to think it’s going to be a break. And while I dread the therapy schedule and shlepping everyone to and from town several times a week, if I can at least get David Lee inside the door without fainting outside on the steps when we get home from surgery, I will feel much, much better.
And already, I can’t wait to NOT hear David Lee’s knee go pop, pop, pop, pop with every step he takes. To wake up in the morning with him instead of getting colder and colder in bed and trying to muster the courage to jump out. To have him come home from work without pain. To watch him play softball at the school picnic instead of having to ump. He’s been incredibly long-suffering with this whole episode. So here’s to skiing 2009.
And if any of you have been through this, please give all the helpful tips you’ve got. I have three more days to prepare…..
Aww Michelle, so that explains why you looked so sad or stressed yesterday in church. I could tell something was bothering you, you weren’t your normal self. I will pray that God will give you much strength for the next few weeks. Love and prayers, Gina
I hope that the days will be full of reasons to smile. love you~
We will be thinking of you.. understand the feelings all too well. But take heart dear friend.. you will get through this.. you will survive.. normal might have new meaning..:) but it will be Ok.
I pray for peace amidst the storm and a full, uncomplicated recover for David Lee.. The dr. told me when Todd had his ACL repaired that his age and the fact that he was active really helped. The worst thing is to keep them from pushing it too fast. Blessings, kim
A lot of prayer,
I well remeber the ” after” my man was home for four months, They do get stir crazy. My advice, have company, go visiting, get him some books, and just plain have fun while he has nothing else to do!! Dory
You definitely care deeply for your’s!! God bless you and give you peace these next few days/weeks!! You can do it! (Sounds trite, i know.)
Don’t have any words of advice, but know that God will be right beside you, nothing will happen without Him knowing and you will get through it with a heart full of understanding for the next person that experiences it. Blessings.
Praying everything will go well…
I don’t have much advice either, but I know what it’s like! It is a very stressful time. I know if I could have just relaxed a little more and not worried so much about all the little things, it would have gone a lot better. I know that that’s so hard to do tho!! I’ll be thinking of you the next few weeks!!
i don’t have anyhelpful tips – but i’ve JUST been through it……like ….6 hrs. ago. Myron had his surgery this morrning…and lets just say – he sounds alot like your husband. i didn’t hardly sleep at all last night – where as i heard Myron peacefully sleeping ALL night. i ask him this morning if he slept good – oh yeah – he said = ” i about forgot it when the alarm rang!” 🙁 it went good – but i’m glad i didn’t read this post – i didn’t know that anesthesia could do that too ya……maybe i should just message you?? this is getting long – and i’m not done?
Wow, I found this interesting, esp. considering the fact that we are just on this side of a scheduled surgery (only it was me, not Steve, so the comparisons aren’t really fair). And although it was more painful than I was expecting, David Lee is right that there is no comparison between needing surgery after a truck wreck and one where you’ve had weeks or months to prepare for it. Praying that you will feel God’s presence through these stressful times.
I am so sorry Michelle! I will be praying for you often!
Plan on having a great babysitter! Daddys are good at that if they are laid up and not in great pain.. And then do something around the house that you enjoy.
My SIL had knee surgery last month. She still needs to stay off of it, but has found all kinds of ways to deal with her temporary handicap. She uses crutches and a wheelchair to get around. And she keeps herself busy!
Norm had his ACL repaired this year in January. I was scared, too, but it was actually not too bad of an experience. The worst is the first three days which I think would have been better for him if he’d stayed off the Vicodin-made him so dizzy and nauseated! If you have a choice, ask for a femoral block preop and a postoperative pain pump. That was a life saver for him for pain. I understand your anxiety. I am around major surgeries every day in the OR, but if I would have a family member going under the knife I probably wouldn’t handle it too well. Anyway, I wish you a feeling of peace and trust on Thursday. Will think of you and say a prayer.:) ~LaVertta
Hi, I stumbled across your site and wanted to let you know that you have handsome boys. Our 2 boys are adopted!Your photography is outstanding. I worked at FMH in 93 & 94 I believe it was and got to know the Beachy family fairly well. Have a Blessed Christmas! Donna (Kauffman) Powers
You will make it. We know God cares about all the things that stress us. And I know that sounds cliche, but I am serious.