Monday March 21, 2011
If I were fifteen years younger my mom would tell me to watch my language. And I’m pretty sure I’d have said, “Well, it’s the truth.” 
The day started out poopy at seven when I woke the boys and discovered Liam’s digestive system had once again run away from him. I hate food intolerances and allergies. And frankly, I’ll be happy to scream that sentence ten times very loudly or however often you’d like to hear it. Liam surprised us all at how well he did with potty training and he continues to do well … except for the odd now and then when something makes his system go berserk for a little and he literally poops in his sleep. I cannot tell you how grateful I am that it happens infrequently. I only wish I knew what causes it so we could eliminate it. Maybe when I figure that out I will also know what causes the inch and a half circle of horrendous eczema beneath his chin that will. not. heal and some days is so raw it oozes blood.
But over all it’s been a good Monday. I love, love life right now. There are a few big things I’d change if I could. But I can’t. So I’m taking up Adam’s philosophy on life, “just deal with it, Mommy.” And we are enjoying the good parts of life so much. It is so much fun to feel well again. To have energy and to be able to enjoy the boys. And it is beyond amazing to experience Spring with all it’s sunshine, thunderstorms, forsythia, and vibrant hues of green!
The boys and I have been having a lot of extra time together while David works at Allegany Boys Camp. I am thrilled that he gets to be involved in a work that is so close to his heart, but I am equally delighted that move in date is only two weeks away and there will actually be an end to the crazy way he burns himself out.
Last Saturday the boys joined me in bed. When I told Adam we were going to run to Kohls for a bridal shower gift he said, “Let’s go to IHOP!” He has been so intrigued with the place ever since I pointed out the sign to him and told him they are open 24/7. I said, “Why not?” So we grabbed some money from the vacation envelope and headed out on the town. The boys were both super good shoppers at Kohls and we landed in a very full restaurant around 10. Just like usual, nothing on the kids menu appealed to Adam. He had his heart set on waffles and I did not have the heart to disappoint him. Especially after he chose to sit next to me at the table instead of across from me. Seriously, I know this isn’t going to happen anymore. He already jerks his hand away most times if I dare to take it when we walk into a store. It’s ok. He’s almost seven. It’s just that he never let me hold his hand ever until he was five.
Liam was a champ about eating the food I brought for him, but the longer the meal went on, the more he talked about his pancakes and about wanting syrup. I finally caved and poured a little of their syrup over his honey cake. I thought he was fine until that afternoon. Definitely not trying that again. I feel sad for him feeling so left out. He’s realizing it more and more and trying to process why. But his vocabulary and comprehension are still too limited to really explain. So he keeps saying, “Me dan eat dat?” (No). “When I am dix (six), den me may eat dat?” Sometimes before he hops into his chair at the table, I hear him turn around and tell his imaginary friend, “you may not eat this. This will make you ‘ery, ‘ery dick.” And then he hops up and happily eats his food. But most times, he is the most grateful little guy in town.
That afternoon the boys and I worked outside …. just what they love most. Liam hauled my liriope clippings to the woods and Adam dumped other things and begged to prune the holly. I pruned the roses within a few inches of their lives. I’m not actually sure you can prune these that much, but I was so tired of straggly bushes. I’m hoping for one of those, “and this was their best summer yet … you just wouldn’t believe it” kind of results, but I’ve kind of given up on that sort of thing ever happening in my flower beds.
But the funniest part of the day happened that evening when we were getting ready to go to the bridal shower. Terrible, I know, but the last while I have not carried Liam’s epi pen with me everywhere I go. It’s been awhile since he’s actually broken out in hives over something and I don’t worry as much because he is always with me where I can monitor what he touches. But because of his issues in the afternoon I thought it would be safer to have it with me. I grabbed the trainer and jabbed it into my leg to practice. It really hurt. I knew I was in a hurry, but I didn’t think I’d jabbed that hard. I yanked it out to check and sure enough, it was the REAL epi pen. Not the needleless trainer. Epi dripped off the tip of the needle onto the floor as my mouth dropped open. I mean at $50 a pop I wasn’t into wasting them. Talk about the laugh of the day!
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This past weekend we all went to Maryland so Liam and I could hang out with some of my cousins (about an hour from camp) while David worked at camp again. Adam’s dream finally came true. He got to go along! We had a fantabulous time and lost too much sleep trying not to miss anything. As we were driving home David said, “You did remember I have a board meeting at camp tomorrow night?” ARGH. I did not. So he’s up there again today. And I should be in bed but instead I’m typing aimlessly so that I don’t worry about him driving three hours when he is so short on sleep. His week started with a meeting at 6:30 this morning and I expect him home tonight sometime between one and two am. Let’s just say, I don’t see how he does it.
Adam actually got excited about playing games tonight and I thought we might be getting back into the I-don’t-hang-out-with-my-dad-very-often-so-now-I-just-want-my-mom stage like he did when we were building the house. The three of us had a blast playing Connect Four, Go Fish, and Candy Land. But then it was bedtime and his eyes blinked hard and fast and his lip quivered and he said, “Is camp finally going to get done so Daddy can tuck us into bed?”
You bet, buddy. You bet. And in the meantime, we’ll keep doing fun things and sending him texts to stay connected. And sometime when you’re not feeling sad, we’ll talk about the boys who never have a daddy with them and about how your daddy is needing you to share a little bit of him so they can find a safe place to go work out their problems. Because you already know that’s what camp is about, but the dots between your daddy being gone and that happening haven’t been connected. And knowing you, you’re going to say, “I can deal with that.”
Sometimes we all just have those poopy kind of days-just maybe in different ways!! Love to hear that you are enjoying life again!! There’s just nothing that beats the “good” feelings like that!! Best wishes!!
This post just warmed me all the way through. We had a good day here too, even though there were some “poopy” things in it, and the kind you could relate with really well! Great attitude! I know from the little mommy experience that I have already had that it’s triple (or however many extra people you have to put on a good face for!) as hard to just deal with it!
I’m sitting here alone to:( I’m waiting for a text saying he is parking the big rig for the night!!! I hate sleeping in an empty bed!!!
ha! no time to read now… i’ll be back. but gotta say your title made me laugh – which in trying to type fast w/ these stupid fake nails on it came out, “your tutle made me laugh.” and well.. yes, that made me laugh too. 🙂
until tomorrow..
loved the ending of this post…it made me teary…but it’s late and …..naaaahhhhh I’m just emotional lately…it’s sweet how you explained sharing his dad for little boys who have no dads…dear to my heart with the foster parenting road we are on. Hope you have a beautiful-no more poopy week! 🙂
I loved every single thing about this post, Michelle, and it reminded me, again, that I am STILL wanting to come see y’all. Sigh. It’s good to hear that your body is recovering from the last several months; oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
I love the title of your post. May as well say it like it is. I love doing fun things with the kiddos when Lowell is extra busy. Kind of takes everyone’s mind off of dad being away.
I feel for you with Liam’s allergies, and I am terrified that we might have to deal with them with Emily. I hope she outgrows her intolerances like I did, but I am NOT looking forward to introducing food into her diet!
these poopy xanga adds on the side are keeping me from reading all of the text in this post…i’ll have to come back later when i have more time…just had to laugh at your ‘language, young lady!’
love you!!
There certainly is a blessing in “weeping with those who weep”…..but AHHhhhhh…..it’s EVER-so-much more fun to laugh with those who laugh!! This post puts a big ole smile on my heart—–poop & all!!! 🙂
haha! your supposed conversation with Mom cracked me up so much ’cause I could just hear it happening! 🙂 I liked the post. I wish I would’ve remembered you were alone last night ’cause I would’ve called you when I was in town alone and you could’ve gone shopping with me. Talk to ya soon. 🙂
So grateful to God for sunshine, fresh air and spring…and that you are experiencing it, too! It’s so hard having Daddy gone, but seriously, how do these men do it to lose so much sleep and still function? I mean, I turn into a GROUCHY Mama bear. But my man, steady as a rock. You are such a good Mommy-to turn the long days into fun. And I’m so sorry about the allergies-I have no idea how difficult that would be. Is there any chance of him outgrowing them?
Glad things are looking brighter for you….spring is a wonderful thing!!
So will y’all be working with Bryan & Angela at the camp? She is Dan’s cousin….
I loved that you took your boys to Ihop for something special.
and I feel so sad for Liam that he can’t understand why he can’t really eat certain foods. I think you deal with it very well, but I think it would be really, really hard!
Your “no snow–working on trimming bushes” thing makes me just.a.tad jealous. They are calling for 6 – 10″ of snow here tonight and tomorrow. Seriously??
Loved this post. I know all to well how to Daddy-less nights go!! I have 1 who just demands to know what Dad is coming home and then we deal with it. And the other 1 who cries buckets of tears at just the thought that he’s not there to tuck them in! So glad I’m not a single mom!
I didn’t know the Maryland camp was about to open.
Yay for you helping to make that happen by helping
your kids be ok with dad being gone. Its not always fun
playing the supportive role at home but hopefully someday “the
dots will connect” and our kids will carry on a passion for serving
hurting people if they see us doing that. Best wishes in getting camp
started.
So happy for you that you’re feeling better and able to enjoy life again! Oh, and that spring has come to you! (: It’s 85 degrees today, and I’m just not ready for the heat!
You are being so strong Michelle and it really is going to help you get through this busy hurdle of “daddy gone” time.
Way to go on still making it as fun as possible for those sweet little guys of yours.
Isn’t this the most glorious spring ever? I marvel daily over the beauty of it & the wonderful feeling of feeling good again.:)
I feel so sorry for your little Liam, food allergies can be so cruel….
I am hoping that y’all will soon be able to enjoy real family time again!
I think you are such a brave, good mommy. Because when daddy is gone for a while, not only do the children feel it, but the mommy sure does too. 🙂 You’re a strong woman to try to keep doing fun things with the boys for their sake, because that requires extra giving on your part! I hope that pretty soon you’ll have a good quiet week where you’ll be home most evenings as a family, and then after that, an all-day date on Saturday, just you and him. 🙂 That’s hoping for a lot, but I do hope that all of you can have some good “tank-filling” time soon. 🙂
And I’m so happy for you that spring has finally come!! And I see that brick sidewalk… Is that what you did with those bricks you worked so hard for last summer?? 🙂
It makes me happy to “see” you so happy! Loved the post!
loved this sparky michelle post!
now i know why i didn’t have time to read this last night.. i needed it TODAY! your heart of not liking some parts of your life right now but accepting them anyway, and throwing yourself instead into ihop breakfasts’ and candy lane games, was just the shot in MY leg to keep walking forward!! 🙂 so even though this wasn’t supposed to be some deep, pondering kind of post, more light and newsy, i still caught the lessons between the fun. love your writing. love your spirit. and feel my own now breathing in more deeply, ready to embrace the things around me i’m not jumping up and down about, but can be okay with. 🙂
Aww, Michelle! I had tears by the time I got to the end of the page! I love keeping up with your lives, even though I don’t keep in contact much…. Bless your heart! You are a wonderful Mommy and loving Wife! Love you!
@idreamovtravel – thanks, girl! And how is it that I always miss your phone calls?
@lwstutz – Outgrowing them? I wish I knew. 🙂
@floridabreze – David won’t actually work at camp. He’s on the board and in charge of building til the maintenance person gets there. But yes, Brian and Angela are moving there the first week in April.@luckymullets – thanks! And I totally agree. It’s harder for me to be the at home support person by a long shot. And yes, they are hoping to have boys by June although that is all dependent on licensing.
Hi Michelle! I’ve been a silent reader of your blog -until now! 🙂 Also read ya’lls book and loved it btw -thanks! I don’t usually comment but I couldn’t not comment after reading about Liam’s allergies. A few in my family have had health problems -some allergies -and I just had to drop a line and tell you we’ve had amazing results with Reliv. And I can’t not tell people about it its helped so much! Anyways if you are at all interested in hearing more about it feel free to contact me -winhyo@gmail.com -Wanita