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WFMW: GroupMe

By Michelle January 7, 2015 Works For Me Wednesday 2 Comments

I have to give credit to my Mom for this weeks Works For Me Wednesday edition. If you know me at all, you know I’m not exactly the most tech savvy person on earth. It’s not that I don’t like using technology (far from it). I just don’t like figuring out how it works. Maybe that’s called laziness. I prefer to think of it as satisfied. Haha. Funny how we can make something sound so different with just one word.

It may or may not have taken me months before I switched to using Lightroom after purchasing it. Ten months later I can’t imagine why I waited a day.

Whatever it is, I’m probably not the person you’re going to ask about gadgets.

But, my mom found this one and I LOVE it. (Told you I like using them as soon as I know how.)

Maybe everyone else has been using this for the past two years and I’m the only one who was still hanging out in the dark. But, if you haven’t, you will want it.

What it is:

A free app you can download on your phone or on your computer. You create groups and essentially form your own private chat room.

Why I love it:

I can use it on my phone (I don’t have a smart phone) because someone added me to the group. With one text, my mom and sisters and I all get the same message.

If you download the actual app instead of only being added by someone else, you can share pictures, like each others comments, easily see who sent which message, and add emoticons. Because we all like those funny smiley faces, right?

I can use it on my iPad and text via wifi when I’m at home and don’t have cellphone service. Because it’s all the same group, the messages go to the same place instead of switching conversations from email to text and vice versa.

Even though we’re spread out from Maryland to Georgia, I feel super connected when I get a quick snippet of what’s happening with the rest of my family.

It’s perfect for this stage of my life that doesn’t always afford long emails and phone conversations.

Want it?

Here you go. GroupMe

You’re welcome.

Any favorite tech tips you want to tell me about? I’d love to hear them. Bonus points if you find an app that irons shirts.

Craving McAllisters

By Michelle January 5, 2015 recipes 9 Comments

The other week I was craving a cozy lunch at McAllisters Deli. Or Panera Bread. Anywhere that offered warms soups and sandwiches and yummy salads made with ingredients not on my normal shnormal grocery list. Well, maybe also anywhere that served me lunch ready made on a platter, but that’s a bit of a moot point.

I found this recipe for Creamy Chicken Tortilla Soup that is so similar to the Creamy White Chili family favorite I’ve made for years. This one has a few more ingredients and ooo, la, la, they turn my looking pretty good recipe into something that turns heads.

About the same time I went to the grocery store while hungry. This is never a good idea. Particularly not in the aisle with the feta stuffed olives and gourmet curries. This jar of basil pesto literally danced on the shelf chanting, “You know you want me. You know you want me. You know you ….”

And did I ever.

I bought a yummy focaccia from the bakery and stopped at the local bulk food store to stock up on Swiss cheese and gluten free ham.

Let me tell you. It’s a match that rivals your favorite fast casual restaurant.

For the sandwich, melt butter (the real deal) on a frying pan.

Add slices of bread for however many sandwiches you wish to make. You can use whatever kind of bread you like. I prefer something whole grain and with a little crunch. Liam gets a gluten free slice of Udi’s and ta da! We’re all good to go.

Spread a thin layer of pesto on the bread. This stuff is like a green-colored goldmine.

Layer with two slices of ham and top with thickly-sliced swiss cheese.

Toast until just lightly browned on the bottom. You can either cover the pan with a lid for a bit or pop your plate in the microwave for a few seconds if the cheese hasn’t melted by then.

The soup … … I already gave you the link. Hopefully you’ve had it simmering in the crockpot all morning. And don’t be afraid to top it with avocado like she says. I wasn’t convinced I wanted warm avocado in my soup, but it is flat out amazing!

Well, the weather outside is frightful. But the food inside’s delightful. And since we’ve no place to go. Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow.

Ten Months

By Michelle January 1, 2015 baby, life, Zara 17 Comments

Ten months of time with this precious baby girl. Ten months of hugs and kisses, nights on the recliner, baby smiles, hours of blissful rocking, and splashing in the bathtub. Ten months of bad colds and giggles that break the air into a thousand sparkling diamonds. Ten months of teary tummyaches from dietary intolerances and wild celebration over milestones reached. Ten months of lullabies and peekaboo. Ten months of so much love. Ten months of still hardly daring to believe the miracle of her is true.

She is a doll. A doll with a vibrant, confidant, affectionate, opinionated personality.

She stole our hearts from the very beginning, but the last two months, she’s squeezed places we hardly knew existed. We watch her consciously and unconsciously, laughing at her antics and analyzing anything that seems amiss.

The first weekend in December a cousin friend of mine showed me neurologic things she noticed with Zara based on her own experience with her daughter who had a stroke before she was born. The way Zara didn’t clap symmetrically. Her right hand clapped. Her left hand tilted down and lagged in movement. The way you could feel resistance in her left arm when you lifted both at once. The way she bent her ankles instead of keeping them straight. The way her thumbs went inside of her fists. Our biggest concern was the way Zara had stopped rolling. Dorcas showed me how to hold her legs in position to teach the muscles in her torso how to move.

I came home and called Early Childhood Development to see what was happing with her referral. The earliest time they could see her was mid-January. Meanwhile, I followed Dorcas’ suggestions at home. Within twenty-four hours, Zara was rolling from her back to her tummy toward her left with lots of struggle, but giggling hysterically at her new accomplishment. Within days she could roll independently either direction as long as she was nudged in the right direction. That and other arm exercises seemed to loosen her muscles and the resistance in her left arm diminished then disappeared.

Did she have Infantile Spasms, was miraculously healed, and had only a few tiny neurologic deficits? Did she only have a musculoskeletal issue that needed loosening? If so, why did it suddenly start? We’ll probably never know.

Does she still have spasm type issues? Occasionally. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they don’t involve any arm raising anymore, but there are still occasional head and shoulder jerks. Are they benign? We don’t know. There are times when she suddenly throws her left arm backward, stiffens for three to four seconds, then lets go. Is it something to be concerned about? We don’t know. There are times when she is crawling and suddenly collapses as her right side gives way. She lies on the floor for a few seconds, gets up and crawls again, only to have it repeat a few strokes later. Is she just playing or is something sinister going on inside her cranium? We don’t know. There are times when she crawls with her left fist tightly clenched. Is it her being silly or a neurological sign to notice? We don’t know. Perhaps the most frightening was the night she woke crying with a strange jerking and strange breathing pattern. Was it a nightmare or did she have some type of seizure activity happening? We don’t know.

Zara has a follow up appointment with a neurologist next week. Will we find the answers for our questions? We don’t know.

What we do know is that she has made tremendous strides in reaching milestones. In the last month she has gone from only making one sound when babbling to saying “ma ma ma ma ma,” “ba by,” and cooing “IIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” on my shoulder in the exact cadence I use a dozen times a day when I cuddle her close and say, “I love you.” She picks out every baby picture and always has to stop in the hallway to point out Grandpa and Grandma Beachy’s picture as she grins and babbles “ba ba ba ba.” She hums along with music and scrunches up her nose to accompany her widest-mouth grin when she’s feeling silly. She pulls herself to her feet using only one hand to balance herself, stands alone for a few seconds, and once or twice walked along the sofa downstairs. She doesn’t wave, but opens and closes her tiny hands and says “ba ba ba ba” when we say bye bye and tries hard to play “Where is Zara” except she mostly covers her ears instead of her eyes. 🙂 The day before Christmas she crawled up the entire flight of steps from the basement to the main floor.

You can imagine how easy it is to be certain there is no longer anything to worry about and then suddenly catch something and wonder. If that four day stay at Johns Hopkins did nothing else, it certainly re-shaped our tendency to laugh away oddities with an innocent, “babies are so funny.” It also made us appreciate her, and life, so much more. I hadn’t realized such a thing would have been possible. But every time life digs into your heart with a spade, it opens up your capacity for love. For gratitude.

On this first day in 2015, I celebrate the beautiful gift that is her life. Even with it’s questions. Maybe even because of it’s questions. Because without the questions, I might forget how very, very, very wonderful she really is.

WFMW: Rice Crispy Candy

By Michelle December 31, 2014 life, recipes, Works For Me Wednesday 4 Comments

It’s not January 1rst quite yet, so I’m still allowed to talk about sugar instead of salad, right?

We pared our Christmas activities way, way, wwwwaaaaaayyyyy down this year. The session between Thanksgiving and Christmas is super short, and there are lots of Christmas activities we all get involved in over there. Cookie making, caroling as a camp, a staff Christmas craft exchange, staff breakfast …. you get the idea. David’s long distance trips go in spurts, but he ended up with even more than planned because of a court hearing. I really didn’t want to have one of those hectic get ready for Christmas months so we just dropped most everything we normally do at our house.

One of the things that didn’t happen was our traditional cookie and candy making. You know how every family has their favorites? Well, ours includes chocolate covered peanut butter balls (some people call them buckeyes), date nut balls that are swoon worthy, lots of other chocolate dipped yummies, peanut blossoms, russian tea cakes, rice crispy candy, and thumbprint cookies. I knew that some of the groups from camp were going to carol for the staff. In years past I’ve gotten caught red-handed (a pretty big oops for a house that deliberately doesn’t keep sweets on hand. Hey kids, how about some apples? No?) at the last minute. This year David tried to give me a bigger heads up. Life was crazy and the first group still got snickers I grabbed last minute at the store.

The second group came at a less crazy time so the boys and I made rice crispy candy. It’s probably my favorite thing to make because it is so, so easy and fast. We decided to try making snowmen with the candy. You have to work fast before the candy cools, otherwise it’s pretty child-friendly and fun.

To make the candy:

Melt:

1/2 c. butter (yes, really, just tell your arteries to work it off)

40 marshmallows (I just dump in a bag of the big ones)

When it’s melted, stir in 5 c. rice crispy cereal.

Let it cool just enough so you can handle it. (This is where you’d typically just dump it into a greased 9×13 pan and let it cool.) I started early and got scalded more than once. Start forming balls in three sizes for the layers of the snowman. Once it’s cool enough, the kids can jump in and help. In retrospect, I would add the candy details at this point, then let them harden and assemble them.

We did it in reverse. I assembled them immediately and then we tried to garnish them. By then the rice crispy candy wasn’t so moldable and we had to attach the candies with chocolate which got pretty messy.

So since you get to learn from my mistakes, let the kids put eyes in the tiny balls and buttons in the medium sized balls as you are forming them. When they’re completely cool, melt some chocolate and glue the three sizes together to make a snowman. You can even add a scarf of chocolate if you like which covers up the messy issues beautifully.

I like adding chocolate garnishes using a ziploc bag with a tiny hole cut at the one corner. Have you found any great tricks for dispensing melted chocolate?

I realize this is often used as a Christmas candy, but I think it would be a fun addition to a hot chocolate party for kids who have been out sledding.

Happy sugar over-load!

PS: Gingerbread men are easier because they are one piece and horizontal.

PS 2: Rural internet stinks. After multiple calls to customer service they are finally sending out a tech …. a week from now. Meanwhile, I guess we’ll embrace streaky images as a new art-form.

The Beauty of Art & Music

By Michelle December 27, 2014 Adam, homeschool, Liam, life 6 Comments

One of the things I love about homeschooling is the way it has created a little free time for the arts starting in elementary school.

Someone gave us a piano to use just before we moved here. In October 2012, we unloaded it into our house and hired a piano tuner. While she was here I asked her for piano teacher recommendations. One of her recommendations was Miss Lindsey, the girl who was already teaching art at Adam’s co-op. Lindsey had already suggested to me that Adam might benefit from a one on one tutoring in art because she saw his interest in it.

A teacher who comes to our house and can teach him both piano and art? I couldn’t imagine anything better!

Adam started classes in December. David and I took an occasional class and thought we’d learn it alongside him. I dropped out after a month and David dropped off about a month later because we simply weren’t finding the ~~time~~ discipline to practice for thirty minutes every night. I needed a mom who said, “You need to go do your piano practice now and then made me do it whether I felt like starting or not. 🙂

Liam begged and begged and begged to be allowed to start. He has loved music from the time he was a baby, picking up rhythms everywhere and singing before he talked. He would often sit at the piano and play. While most children just sort of bonged and banged, his banging usually sounded somewhat melodic and pleasing. By the time he was five, he was picking out simple melodies on his own, sometimes coming home from church and picking out a hymn we sang note by note. Finally in February of this year, a few months before his sixth birthday, we decided to let him try. The discipline has been a stretch for him. He loves to play by ear, and needing to work at finger play that did not come easily was a stretch. Especially since it only yielded simple tunes and he could forget the books and play a song by ear. We backed off a bit on the intensity of his lessons so he wouldn’t lose the fun of it and now he is enjoying it so much again.

David listened to Adam practicing the other night, shook his head, and said, “That makes me jealous.” It’s amazing what you can learn in two years!

Adam is loving his art classes, too. After exploring composition, perspective and shading for a bit, he experimented with oils and found what he loves. He’s working on a series of animal paintings and dreams of selling artwork someday.

(Those horizontal lines are not part of the painting or the wall. See note at the bottom of post.)

As a stay at home mom, I love having another adult walk into my house once a week! Lindsey feels as much like my friend as she is the boys’ teacher! We share recipes we love, stories about our day, and she is my go to person when I have a question about something locally.

As a relatively left-brained teacher and parent, I love seeing the boys have opportunity to exercise and develop the right side of their brain. Piano has also taught them discipline, developed their ear, and given them opportunity to perform publicly on occasion. Art allows them to be creative and a little messy …. things I’m not so good at carving out space and time for in the afternoons when I’m through teaching and needing to get on with housework. Lindsey has developed talents in them I would never have been able to pull out because I don’t have them myself, and I am forever grateful to her.

As Plato said, “I would teach children music, physics, and philosophy; but most importantly music, for the patterns in music and in the arts are the keys to learning.”

PS: Please excuse the odd linear issues in some of the pictures. We’re having issues with our internet currently and it’s showing up in some odd ways. Hopefully we’ll get the kinks worked out soon. 🙂

WFMW: The long jump

By Michelle December 24, 2014 homeschool, Works For Me Wednesday 13 Comments

Have kids? Check

Have Christmas cookies? Check

Have cold weather? Check

Have kids eating more sugar than normal and cooped up inside because of cold weather? Check.Check.Check.

One day when we were doing school I decided to see how far the boys can jump, just for fun. They loved it. No, actually they LOVED it! Now they beg for me to mark off a jump for them again. It’s the perfect way to encourage energy release without simply doing something mundane like running stairs.

All you need is painters tape and a yardstick or some other way to measure. A hallway works fabulously, but any open space will do. I marked off a long starting line and then one foot increments off to the side. If the tape is on carpet and they land on it, the tape tends to work it’s way loose. When it’s beside them, they can still easily count how far they’ve jumped.

We all three ran and jumped because it was just that much fun. Those crazy boys can out-jump me already!

Tell me something your children like to do when they’re cooped up inside and then go have some fun!

WFMW: Breakfast

By Michelle December 17, 2014 gluten free, recipes, Works For Me Wednesday 5 Comments

Anyone else get stuck in a food rut? Hands both up and waving wildly over here. Because we live a fat thirty minutes from a grocery store, I plan out menus a week at at time. Some weeks I could sit down and write out two weeks worth of menus in no time flat. Those are usually the times when I’m starving hungry and the sun is shining. Other weeks, there are dirty dishes on the table, the skies are greeeeey, I just finished a big meal …. and I can’t think of anything but the simplest, quickest food possible. Which usually means making the same thing. over. and over. and over again.

I was tired of the breakfast rut we’d fallen into. The boys really, really dislike cereal. Liam isn’t supposed to be eating gluten so bagels are kind of a non-option. I wish for quick and easy. Did anyone notice those three don’t add up?

So there we are. Quiche. Steel cut oats. Baked oatmeal. Breakfast casserole (thankfully I found a gluten free one that we all love). Fruit and yogurt parfaits. Smoothies and muffins. Almond flour pancakes. Begin process again.

Enter, Pinterest. I spend zero minutes there for weeks on end, then suddenly get the urge and realize what a treasure trove it is! I have no idea why I don’t use it more regularly.

Here’s my recent breakfast inspiration.

{Sweet Potato Breakfast Skillet with Bacon}

I know. I don’t even like bacon. Or, I’m not supposed to. When we started buying MSG free bacon for Liam I realized the better quality bacon actually tasted like pork instead of fat. It was kind of good. (I tried not to admit that out loud.) Then David cured some of his own last year. Oi. I can no longer claim my distaste. Just don’t expect me to willingly eat bacon bits on salad anytime in the next five decades.

Sweet potatoes and bacon seemed like an amazing flavor combination on paper. It was even better in real life! It took a little while to dice up all the vegetables even though I bought sweet potato fries to speed up the process. Oh, and I cooked the eggs til they weren’t really runny intentionally. This doesn’t qualify for quick and easy, but, oh, it was so, so yummy. You really should try this for a Saturday morning breakfast.

Unfortunately, Adam and Liam didn’t like it. I think it was the idea of sweet potatoes for breakfast that threw them. I’m pretty sure this could be dinner some night, too.

What’s your go to breakfast dish right now?

WFMW: Paper Snowflakes

By Michelle December 10, 2014 Works For Me Wednesday 13 Comments

Whenever I’m back in Virginia, I realize again that one of the aspects of a larger community I miss is the interaction, advice, encouragement, and helpful trivia from other women in the same stage of life I’m in. You know, the kind of information that happens randomly while you’re rocking your babies in the nursery at church or at a social get together during the week. I get wonderful snippets here and there … from a friend who spoke powerful words of life to me at a wedding we attended … from a teacher friend who gave me just the right idea for a school motivational issue …. from a cousin friend who was able to cut right through some of the vague things we’d been feeling with Zara and give me valuable insight ….. It all reminded me of how tiny my world is and how much we all benefit from interacting with a larger community.

In light of that, I’m going to start a “Works For Me Wednesday” edition. Given my rather sporadic attention here, this isn’t likely to happen every week after awhile, but I thought it would be fun! Sometimes it may be practical; sometimes, like today, mostly fluff. Sometimes I’ll tell you what works for me. Sometimes I may be asking you for help with something. Just pretend we’re both rocking our babies in the nursery and church is almost over. 🙂 Or better yet, trying out the new hip restaurant in town for lunch.

Today’s edition is paper snowflakes. I realize that the more crafty of you can take a piece of paper, fold it back and forth, snip randomly, and create 137 gorgeous designs. Some of us need a little help. I’ve always thought they looked like fun and was doubly surprised when the boys loved it as much as I did! Way too often I overestimate their abilities or interest level and what should be fun ends up feeling like a to do list. Or sometimes because of the gap in their ages one of them loves it and the other is bored.

I used this site for free printable templates. Even with our internet issues, I was able to download these easily. Score!

Adam chose the most intricate designs and except for both boys blowing a few at the very tip where a millimeter too far cuts a big hole, they loved it.

“It’s kind of hard to stop,” gets translated, “This is a really cool activity” at my house. A candy cane disregarded on the table in lieu of a scissors definitely says that.

You know you have boys involved, when even paper crafting requires the use of a flexcut. 🙂

Want a fun, easy craft that takes minimal supplies perfect for kids 6-36? I give this one a five star!

Did you try any fun crafts recently?

Simple Gifts

By Michelle December 2, 2014 life 7 Comments

It’s a day of intermittent rain, sleet, and quiet moments of grey. But indoors, the luscious scent of roast beef slowly baking in the oven permeates the air. The craziness of taking three big trips during November and being gone for thirteen days out of thirty-one means we have internet left at the end of the month. Tada! The loveliness of streaming Christmas music on Pandora. The leftover autumn candles are burning without discretion. And for once in her life, baby girl opted to nap in the afternoon instead of in the morning which made school a little trickier, but this afternoon gloriously free!

Some days are so brim full of the most delightful little gifts!

This morning the boys and I prayed for safety for the families who were bringing their kids back to camp through the icy rain. We also prayed especially for a boy who opted to take matters into his own hands … that God would keep him safe and that satan’s power would be bound so that he would not make any decisions with life-long ramifications.

Some days when we are in the middle of a loud, happy holiday I think about the moms of our boys who are going through a hard time in life.

On days like today when there is messiness around all the corners of the house, dishes break, and we’re all still trying to get back into the rhythm of home, I think about how much beautiful we have going on. There’s a story behind every boy at camp, just as there is a story behind every person in the world. If there is anything I’ve learned since being here, it’s that you can’t predict kids outcomes. For every child who struggles with life because of certain circumstances, there is another child who thrived in a similar place. And for every child who thrives, there is another child whose spirit crumbles and who desperately needs someone to walk alongside them minute by minute to show them the way.

We’re never going to be able to parent perfectly or guarantee outcomes.

Love. Structure. Support system. Prayer. They’re all wonderful, oh so necessary things. But they aren’t guarantees. Because life is life, not an insulated bubble, and kids get to make choices.

In the end, it all boils down to the most amazing gift.

Grace.

Today at noon, the boys’ eyes widened as they realized both their prayers had already been answered. The ice had not only stopped, the collection on the deck had melted. David had called me to say the boy we were most concerned about had been found. We held hands and prayed again in thanksgiving, but it was the eyes of my soul that grew wide the most. Those hands reaching out to hold mine, those hearts turned toward God, those sweet spirits that emerge when the wrestling gets shut down …. those things aren’t because of what we’ve done as parents. Those are the grace of God bringing so many beautiful gifts into the life of our family.

Today I’m praying again for the Mama warriors out there who are investing so much love, so many prayers, so much time …. and who wish with all their hearts to see these simple gifts.

Because God is always good

By Michelle November 23, 2014 Adam, baby, life, Zara 7 Comments

{If you’re subscribed here via email you probably found a few old posts popping up in your inbox. I finally finished up a few posts I’d started after the kitchen was remodeled and left them with the original date so they’d stay in chronological order. Yes, I’m a bit obsessive about things like that. 🙂 If you’re not subscribed, scroll down past the recent posts about Zara to see pictures of our brand new kitchen!}

I think we all thought our crazy life would certainly take a turn for calmer days. But life remains anything other than boring.

Sunday night after the boys were in bed (one of the biggest perks of the school year? Early bedtimes!), David and I were talking about our future. We discussed different things, but one thing was clear. We felt our time here at camp would continue for a time and one of the things we discussed was what he could be learning in order to better serve camp. Sometimes I really fight my limitations and inability to get involved. David and I would love to be able to work more as a team, especially when he does in-home visits. I have several web pages rumbling around in my head and long for down time to be able to flesh them out. But I am only one person and right now it takes everything I’ve got just to be a mom and a teacher. I absolutely love being a mom and wouldn’t trade it for the world. I just wish I could go without sleep so I could find time to do everything I want to do. 🙂

On Monday I called Adam’s pediatrician about a strange dark line that appeared in one of his fingernails. I’d ignored it for almost two months, assuming it was some kind of mineral deficiency or minor trauma (he’s a boy, right?) and waited for it to grow out. It didn’t. According to the all-famous-currently-my-enemy-google, a dark vertical line often indicates melanoma in adults, particularly after a certain age. I searched and searched and finally found an article on kids that said it is most often a benign (2 out of 19 kids were malignant in one study) mole, but one that must be monitored closely because of the chance of melanoma developing. There were horrifying articles that talked about shave biopsies versus punch biopsies and the risk of permanently losing your nail because of damage to the nail bed. And of course the terrible, I had to have my finger amputated kinds of stories. The pediatrician said to go straight to the dermatologist.

When I called, they asked a few questions and whether I was particular about who I would see. I didn’t know anyone so I said no. They recommended seeing a physician assistant so that we could get an appointment this week instead of waiting until December and said a doctor would need to come in the room anyway. My heart dropped a little at the urgency.

{The view through my kitchen window the morning before Adam’s appointment. I’ve never seen a sunrise create a vertical line like this. It felt like such a visual reminder that God already knew all about the etiology of the vertical line in Adam’s nail and his future is still brightly colored.}

An hour after I’d called the dermatologist, our renters called and said things were working out for them to take early retirement. They’ll be out of our house the end of January. David and I are thrilled for them and so happy that they get to go home to their own lovely home in South Carolina. But we are equally sad to see them go! They have been the most incredible renters you can imagine!

Monday night’s conversation was about our future also, but it had quite a different tune. “So, what are we going to do?” I asked.

“Oh, that’s easy,” said David. “We’ll call Marjorie (our fabulous realtor) tomorrow and put it on the rental market. If that doesn’t work, we’ll sell it. And if that doesn’t happen, then we’ll move back. I’m certainly not going to lose any sleep over it. If God wants us at camp, He’ll take care of it.”

I didn’t lose any sleep over it at night, but in the daytime, I’m in the market for some testosterone. 😉

E.ver.y.thing seems to once again hinge on the unknown, just like it did when we felt we were supposed to come to camp and put the house on the market in the first place.

One minute I’m thrilled at the potential of living in Virginia again. The next I’m cringing at the enormous work of moving out of state again. And I’m wondering what happened to the sure feeling we had about David’s work not being finished here.

But when I strip away all the emotions, it really is as simple as David said. I believe with all my heart that God has good in store for us. I also believe that He will show us very clearly what He wants us to do. I just struggle with the way He seems to show us at the last minute. I’m the girl who buys a 2015 planner in November. I’d like to know now what is going to happen so I can start planning, you know. If it were up to me, I’d choose most anything over living in limbo.

But maybe that’s missing the point. Maybe we’re supposed to have this time of unknown to wrestle through what is in our hearts and to have the opportunity to get to know the Father heart of God even better. If I’ve learned anything in the past three years it’s this. No matter how long or how dark the unknown is, there is no place safer or more sure than to know you are in the center of the will of God. Even when it doesn’t make sense. Even under all the questions that pop up in my mind. Even in the moments when it all feels like life could get turned end over end … there is an underlying settledness that brings you back to a place of rest.

David has been reading George Mueller’s story to the boys the last few days. It is a riveting story of faith and of a man who prayed and believed when there was no evidence to go on. Today in Sunday School we talked about Ruth. I’ve always loved her story, but this time with all that is swirling in my own brain I found it riveting how much Ruth believed God would bless her. Ruth tells Naomi she will go and glean in the field of one with whom she will find favor. And in the next verse she is gleaning and it says she happened to be in the field of Boaz. No conniving. No asking, what is this owner like. Ruth simply acted on the belief that God would take care of her. Fundamentally, that’s what it all comes back to. If I believe that God is good, I won’t be afraid. Ruth had every right to doubt God’s goodness. Her husband dies. Her brother in law dies. Her mother in law moves home, a completely foreign country and culture for Ruth, because she hears there is once again bread in Israel and Ruth decides to go with her. And yet when they get back they are hungry and without bread. Apparently there weren’t any huge welcome back grocery showers happening. Not only that, her mother in law is so upset at everything that has happened she changes her name to bitter. Yet Ruth chooses to live out of the belief that God is good.

Because He is God, He is good.

We’d love if you’d join us in praying that we would be able to cut through all the voices of our own desires and our own plans for the future and that we would hear clearly what God wants for us.

Adam’s appointment was like having google come to life. The dermatologist looked at it and said he feels confident it’s a mole in his nail bed. The fingernail emerges through the mole and thus carries the color with it as it grows. Come back in six months to have it re-evaluated. Then he looked at it again. Actually, come back in four. We went from there to Zara’s appointment with the pediatrician. He is still very concerned about her. I’m discovering that having a child with an illness is enough to make you irrational. Every time I’ve pretty much convinced myself she’s okay, we see a doctor who is convinced she’s not. The irrational side of me wants to run away, the same way I wanted to take her and run right back out of Johns Hopkins where no one could say things I didn’t want to hear. Apparently I’m not the only one who feels that way. When we pulled in for her first follow up appointment, I snatched the first available parking space. Adam looked up and said, “Um, don’t park here. Remember what happened last time we parked here?”

I mentioned Adam’s dermatologist appointment to her pediatrician who wanted to take a look. He studied it for a bit as I explained what the doctor had said. “That’s very unusual,” he said. We were ready to walk out the door when he pulled me aside and said, “Let me look at that nail again. Watch that closely and if he develops anymore of them or a fever bring him in right away. It looks a little bit like a splinter hemorrhage and could be a sign of endocarditis.”

SERIOUSLY. Can we please just not hear about one more wierd thing that happens to kids for a looooooooooooooooooooong time?