Chesed

Living and Learning

Sometimes a break is the best thing in the world.  I’d much rather keep plowing through something until I’m finished, but I’m slowly realizing that even short breaks really do make you more productive.  We took off more days than I’d originally planned over Thanksgiving and ended up only doing about two days of school work.  The break was one of the best things that could have happened to us.  School is going so much better since then and I think we all just needed a chance to clear our heads.

kindergarten

 

painting for kindergarten

After pulling hard for so long, it is so much fun to enjoy doing school again and to see the boys be fascinated with learning.  When school isn’t going well, it can take all. day. long.  When it is, we can be done in four hours on average and sometimes even less.  We all LOVE those days.  This months we’ve been doing a few fun things.  Last week we had a random warm day so the boys and I headed out to the woods to gather pine branches, pine cones, and a small tree.  Adam spent a few weeks learning about birds this semester in Science.  He already knows so much about birds that he readily identified all the birds he was supposed to study, but we learned more about their habitats and preferences.  Did you know birds actually prefer a feeder that allows them to sit?  That explains why they like the bird feeder Adam designed and built better than the one hanging on our front porch.  We also learned that they like to have a little sand to help their digestive system and that they love to have access to water for drinking, especially in the winter.  Sure enough, our ignored all summer bird bath gets attention when we manage to keep unfrozen water in it now.  They suggested filling a tree with popcorn, cranberries, and grapefruit halves filled with peanut butter and seeds.  I’m not quite willing to risk having Liam walk past peanut butter on a regular basis, but we did go look for a tree for our front porch that we could use to feed the birds.

cranberries and popcorn

 

stringing cranberries and popcorn

feeding the birds

Thankfully, Adam found one in the soft, boggy ground close to the creek.  We dug and pulled and dug and pulled and chopped off roots close to the surface so as to avoid more digging and between the three of us we managed to get it out and up the hill. The boys stuck with stringing popcorn longer than I thought they would and happily planted our tree on the front porch.  The birds are completely ignoring it thank you very much.

I am loving Liam’s kindergarten program.  It is super easy which is exactly what I was looking for since I personally don’t think five year olds need to be in school.  He absolutely loves learning his letter sounds and is starting to read easy words.  He fusses about his Math pages in order to sound cool like Adam, and then gets all excited about them in spite of himself.  It’s way too cute to watch.  I love that they incorporate learning about the world around us as he learns letters.  One week he learned the basics of solids versus liquids or gas.  Last week he studied insects and we set up our first ant farm.

ant farm

 

ant farm 2

That same week Liam biked along ahead of me on my walk and, like usual, we encountered a wooly bear caterpillar.  This time though, the caterpillar was completely black.  Liam was convinced it was Bobby.  Over a month ago he found an identical caterpillar while he was at camp and Chief Kendon helped him name him Bobby.  Liam kept him on the front porch in a little box, but Bobby disappeared.  He was beyond pleased to find “him” again.  He tucked him into his shirt pocket for safety while we finished our walk and as soon as we got home we made a little house for him.

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wooly bear caterpillar

 

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caterpillar in my pocket

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In spite of plantain (which Adam remembered is their favorite food) and a small amount of water and plenty of air holes, I’m suspicious that Bobby is dead.  He hasn’t moved in a few days.  Liam is convinced he’s just hibernating and I don’t have the heart to force the issue.  So he “lives” on in his little house on our dining room table where Liam can take off the lid and watch him at mealtime.

While I love kindergarten, I am also starting to enjoy teaching Adam so much more.  We’re moving past the basics since he’s in fourth grade and he delights in learning Math concepts I didn’t learn until eighth grade (yes, my education was sub-par until then).  Today we were studying exponentials and he learned about squared and cubed numbers.  In the afternoon I was browsing Pinterest and stumbled across something similar to this:

Ho Ho Ho

I loved, loved seeing the recognition cross his face as it started to make sense and our subsequent shared laughter.  Sometimes this growing up stuff is so much fun!


These are the Days of Survival

If you ask me how I’m doing and I say, “fine,” there’s an 85% chance I’m lying.  10% of the time, you won’t even have to ask.  The other 5% may be a 2-3 on a pain scale of 1-10 which is pretty close to fine if you ask me.  These are the days of miserable third trimester upper back pain coupled with Braxton Hicks reminiscent of my last six weeks during my other pregnancies.  It hurts to move.  It hurts to sit.  And unlike the other two times, it hurts to lie down.  The only thing that helps is walking and hydrotherapy (otherwise known as soaking in a hot tub for a very long time).  The unfortunate thing is that it is cold and I can no longer close any of my coats and we sold the treadmill before moving.

It’s called Survival …whether you’re of the fittest or not.  I’m not.

It’s called wishing pregnant women were allowed a fentanyl patch.

These are the days of toggling between stiff with pain and writhing.

But, these are also the days of feeling the curiosity of baby hiccups, gentle kicks, and tsunami waves across my abdomen proving the life of a baby who probably weighs almost two and a half pounds by now.

These are the days of not coping with things that shouldn’t be so overwhelming.  Of fighting feelings of incompetence and inadequacy on almost every count.  Of crying and crying because I can’t stop.  Of feeling like a complete failure because while I’d like to have the eyes and heart of Mother Teresa, I can’t even eat lunch at church after putting down a fecal-matter splattered ring at church for the second time (no, there is no such a thing as separate restrooms for men and women there).

These are also the days of prayers rebuking satan’s power by a husband who willingly goes to war for me when I can’t fight anymore on my own.  Days with words of life.

I Corinthians 1-8

Days with finding these words of inspiration from a friend on facebook (thanks, Mary June).

“I’ve noticed something about people who make a difference in the world: They hold the unshakable conviction that individuals are extremely important, that every life matters. They get excited over one smile. They are willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind, and treat one wound. They aren’t determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they’re satisfied with small changes. Over time, though, the small changes add up. Sometimes they even transform cities and nations, and yes, the world.”

Beth Clark, Kisses from Katie

These are the days of knowing I would lay down my life for my family and unborn child without hesitation and at the same time, feeling the difficulty of doing that very thing slowly on a minute by minute basis.
These are the days of asking God what do You want me to do, being obedient, and resting in the knowledge that it is enough.
These are the days of profound gratitude for the small things like indoor plumbing or checking off laundry on the to do list.  These are the days of smiling at the odd hugs that happen over a hugely protruding abdomen.  Of watching the boys eyes grow wide when they feel an especially hard kick or the roundness of a tiny rump pushed against the walls of her confining house.
These are the days of survival.  These are the days I will look back on and call the best days of my life.

 


A Place of Rest

The other day I made a quick scroll on facebook and noticed this little blurb was the hot topic of the day.  I saw the first two few sentences and figured my travel weary self didn’t need a guilt trip to boot.  There is no doubt we’ve been the classic family on the road this year, although for different reasons than the ones she probably mentioned.  I never did go read it.

Ten minutes later it made me smile.  I actually like some things about parenting on the road.  Let’s face it, I bet we all have a lot of road time.  Why not redeem it?  When else are you and your children strapped into relatively comfortable seating in such close proximity of each other?  What a great time for conversation.  When Adam was two, we made regular twenty minute trips to the house we were building.  We talked about everything from the way the seasons changed to what would be happening out at the house.  He learned to recognize numbers by how many fingers I showed him on my right hand while I drove with my left.  As he approached three, we began basic Math.  “If daddy gives you two oranges and I give you one more orange, how many do you have altogether?”

When Liam was one, I helped with school carpool and once again we made daily road trips.  He loved observatory questions like, “What color is the sky?” or “I can see a horse; can you find it?” A year later he learned to discern truth from lying in the same way.  “Is the sky blue?  If I say, ‘the sky is brown,’ is that truth or a lie?

More recently we’ve had random discussions like “How do babies get out?”  Let me tell you, eye contact in conversation is over-rated.  It was quite comfortable and convenient having that little Science lesson surface when we were together but not face to face. Especially when we got to the end of the questions and Adam muttered, “Boy, I’m glad I’m a man so I’ll never have to do that!”

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Two weeks ago on that Monday following my burn out, Adam’s elbow started dripping bloody fluid from his rod insertion site.  We knew skin breakdown was a risk and after all the swelling went down his rod protruded so much he joked about having two elbows in that arm.  The skin covered it, but barely.  Now it spontaneously started dripping while he was doing school.  Thankfully, I couldn’t actually see the rod, just where the skin had broken down.  After covering it with clean gauze, I called the surgeon’s office, sort of expecting them to say we should come in that day.  An open access to the inside of a bone?  Not such a good idea.  Apparently though, since we couldn’t visualize the rod, it wasn’t an emergency.  They said they’d talk to the doctor and get back with me and by afternoon they called to let me know they were still trying to figure out who to shuffle but he was getting bumped up.  That night he accidently bumped it while brushing his teeth and it bled bright red.  We were all thrilled the next day to get a call with the words, “Can you have Adam at the OR Thursday morning at 6?

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Suddenly we were cramming three days of school into one because I knew Adam was going to be in an enormous splint again, not to mention potentially tired and sore.  We skipped some review parts, but it still took us until four in the afternoon.  Adam ran the vacuum, Liam picked up toys and cleared the dishwasher, and I flew around cleaning up the messy kitchen and packing clothes.  After a quick supper and baths, the boys got into clean, warm pajamas and we loaded into the van with plans to spend the night at my mom’s house so we wouldn’t have to leave at three in the morning.  It was already dark and had been drizzling off and on all day.  I didn’t realize just how tired I was until I sat in the driver’s seat and David prayed for us before we left.

scenic back roads

As I shifted into reverse Adam asked, “Why do I hear tears in your voice? You’re worried about my surgery, aren’t you?”

Instead of dissolving, the strength to pull it together one more time came out of nowhere and I decided this time not to brush it off.

“I am a little bit worried.  But mostly I’m exhausted.  You guys are, too, aren’t you?  We all worked really, really, really hard today doing school work and getting ready to go and now I’m just too tired and heading out for three hours on the road when it’s dark and rainy looks kind of overwhelming.  Do you remember how horrible we felt Monday morning when it was time to start school?  We were both dreading it like crazy but God gave me those verses about strength when I opened my Bible and it seemed they were just for us?”

{Monday morning I picked up my Bible too exhausted emotionally to read anything.  I begged God for a few words of life and randomly flipped it open.  There they were, already underlined for emphasis.  

Ps 27:13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

verse 14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait I say on the Lord.

Life-giving words … for me in that moment and for the boys when I read them to them a few minutes later as we started school.}

Both boys nodded yes.

“Do you remember that we were so burned out it felt depressing just to do a normal week of school and be at home because we were all so tired of school and traveling and doing catch up school work?”

Again, they both said yes.

“And then remember how we prayed that God would give us strength for the week and just twenty minutes after we did, your elbow started bleeding and suddenly we knew we were going to have to cram school and do another trip?”

“Yeah,” came two little voices from behind me.

“But it went well, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“That was God’s gift to us.  Remember the other verse we talked about {Ps 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.} and how we thought God would help us to say that by the end of the week?  It does feel like that even with all this extra, right?”

The boys had been so incredibly hyper in the house just before we left but in those moments, there was an incredible calm in our van as they absorbed and discussed seeing God’s power in action in our own lives that week, not just in a Bible story.

Adam’s surgery was previously scheduled for Halloween, the day I hate being out.  I could only imagine the nightmares Liam would have that night after seeing all the ghost and goblin decor en route.  (Oddly, I needn’t have worried.  Western Maryland looks like a princess party compared to parts of Charlottesville when it comes to Halloween.) I wasn’t afraid, but I wasn’t thrilled about it either and the boys knew it.  Even without me asking them, they started naming their own God-gifts … Adam that we didn’t have to go on Halloween and Liam that God was letting us see so many deer along the road.   Funny how something that looks like a road-hazard to one person looks like a God-gift to another.

How could I hate road time when in that moment it felt almost sacred?

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If only all the trips felt just like that as opposed to the hours when the noise escalates and escalates or we listen to the Brinkman Adventures for the two hundred seventh time or Liam starts desperately yelling, “My tummy doesn’t feel good,” as I grope around for the bucket.

To be honest, perhaps I’d agree with the article the other author was writing.  I bet the gist of the article is to slow down our lives instead of adding on lots of extras.  To make conscious choices that help us spend time with our children at home.  I don’t know because I haven’t had time to read it.  But sometimes, no matter how much control freak time management skills we possess in our genetics, we don’t get to choose our lifestyle.  Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches and redeem what you’re handed.  The part I still have to learn over and over again is that most times, taking charge of the punches has less to do with my ability to manage chaos than it has to do with being at rest inside my soul.  Not to mention, who gave children such a uncanny sixth sense about whether Mom is feeling calm or chaotic anyway?  So whether you’re out there driving in the carpool lane or stuck at home indefinitely without a vehicle and feeling like your children would benefit from a play date, I wish you a foundation of rest.

Nov 13_0002  {there is more than one way to practice spelling words}

Meanwhile, we’re heading out on yet another surgeon excursion tomorrow.  Tomorrow the post surgery cast comes off and we find out whether that stubborn little spot has calcified and he’s free or he gets another hard cast.  Redemptive moments or not, I’d be over the top delighted if the verdict would mean fewer day long road trips in the future.  Irregardless, we’re ready to make the best of it.

 


Pumpkin Whoopie Pies

I really, really used to dislike fall.  I’m beginning to wonder how much of my love affair with fall is actually about the season and how much of it is about the food that comes with it.  Seriously.  I am loving all things pumpkin and apple right now from muffins to lattes to biscotti to pies and dumplings and cheesecake.  There are hardly enough weeks to make all the fabulous desserts crowding my brain!  Which may or may not be why at only twenty-three weeks gestation no one, and I mean, no one, is wondering, is she or is she not pregnant?  We’ll just pretend that’s all baby and not baby padded with pumpkin.

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One of my favorite fall treats is Pumpkin Whoopie Pies.  I used to sort of kind of like chocolate whoopie pies until I discovered the filling was made of Crisco.  Crisco?  Who does that??  I mean, you may as well just dip a spoon into the can of crisco and eat it.  I think I’d rather be gagged with the spoon.  From then on, I could never look a whoopie pie straight in the face.  Then, I discovered the marvelously delicious marshmallow creme recipe in a cookbook from a friend.  Meanwhile, I sampled a pumpkin whoopie pie from my sister in law, Kristina.  I added cream cheese to the filling recipe because what complements pumpkin better than cream cheese? The two merged together in a perfect match.

I’m not going to beat around the bush.  Whoopie pies take a little lot of time.  You bake cookies forever and make frosting and then you slap them together and only end up with half as many cookies as you baked.  How is that supposed to be fair?  But I promise you, this is worth it.  Go ahead and sample them, but make sure you wrap most of those happy little orbs in plastic wrap and freeze them because they are even more perfect when they’re half-thawed.  And really, who can complain about dessert ready to go at a moment’s notice?  Not me.  Especially when there is a carry-in at church every. single. week.  Just don’t count calories.

Pumpkin Whoopie Pies

Cream together:

2 cups vegetable oil

2 cups brown sugar

2 cups white sugar

Beat in:

3 cups pumpkin

4 teaspoons vanilla

4 eggs

Mix in:

5 cups flour

1 tablespoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon ginger

1 teaspoon nutmeg

2 teaspoons cloves

2 teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

2 teaspoons salt

You want a bigger cookie than most of the cookie scoops used for things like chocolate chip cookies, so I used my Pampered Chef ice cream scoop and it was the perfect size.  Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes.  And here is what I love about this recipe. The dough is just perfect … not so much flour that they get dry.  They are soft and perfect.  But just enough flour that they don’t run all over the pan into oddly shaped cookies.  They just stay there, round themselves perfectly in the center, and bake beautifully.

For the filling:

3/4 cup butter, softened

2 cups powdered sugar

2 (7 oz) jars marshmallow creme

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 (8 0z) bar cream cheese

If you like plenty of frosting in a whoopie pie, you should make a batch and a half.  Or at least add another half a bar of cream cheese.  Otherwise you’ll end up with a few unfrosted cookies like I did.  Spread filling on one cookie to your taste and find a mate that matches in size.  Press them together and voila!  You’ve just created a whoopie pie.  Go ahead. You know you want one.

Pumpkin Whoopie Pie

Fall is also when Muesli gives way to Steel Cut Oats.

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Credit for this lovely little gem goes to Thelma Musser.  When she posts recipes, I make them.  They are just that good.  This one and her Butternut Squash Soup are our family’s favorites.

I love Steel Cut Oats because they aren’t mushy like regular oatmeal.  They’re just slightly nutty in taste and texture, but oh, so warm and comforting and unlike the Pumpkin Whoopie Pies, nourishing.  When people say healthy food doesn’t taste as good, I just smile because I know they haven’t tried the right foods.  This oatmeal is perfection in a bowl. I love steel cut oats even more because I can find them in a gluten free version which means I can make one breakfast for our entire family and everyone loves it.  Let me tell you, this is huge!

Steel Cut Oats

Steel Cut Oats

3 cups water

1 cup whole milk

1 tablespoon butter

1 cup steel cut oats

1/4 teaspoon salt

Bring water and milk to a simmer in a large saucepan over medium heat.  Meanwhile, heat the butter in a skillet until just beginning to foam.  Add the oats and toast, stirring constantly until golden and fragrant, about 1.5 – 2 minutes.

Stir the toasted oats into the simmering liquid, and reduce heat to medium-low.  Simmer gently until the mixture thickens and the oats absorb all the liquid, about 20-25 minutes.  Add the salt.

When serving, toss in a handful of frozen blueberries and drizzle with real maple syrup.  Side benefit of the blueberries (besides the punch of flavor): it will cool the oatmeal to the perfect temperature for kids to enjoy.

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The other morning we had steel cut oats, pumpkin-apple muffins, and pumpkin lattes for breakfast.  I’m just telling you, it’s hard to hate mornings when you’re facing all of that.

So go ahead.  Your stomach will thank you.  I bet your family will, too.


Burn Out

It’s Sunday evening and instead of feeling refreshed and ready to charge into a new week, I really just want to crawl under the covers and not emerge for days.  I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t work.  Running away might be more effective, but it would take too much energy.

I am burned out.

I thought we did crazy earlier this summer with all the mess that surrounded Adam’s broken arm.  Actually we did.  This is just more of the same.  Six doctor’s appointments in one month between Adam and checking in on the baby-making project.  Seriously?  You would think someone was acutely ill.  We’re not.  Add ridiculous amounts of travel and the burnout all starts to make a little sense.

We were so excited about October 9th and getting to see our baby.  I wanted to see all the healthy stuff, you know, four heart chambers, fingers and toes …. but we were shamelessly excited about the gender reveal. I felt absolutely giddy drinking that pumpkin spice latte to avoid any sleeping with your legs crossed shenanigans.  And then there was the reality of fuzzy, fuzzy in-office ultrasound machines.  Blurry pictures of a head, moving, moving, moving the probe to visualize the heart accurately, blurry pictures of the bladder and incredibly blurry pictures of the definitive parts.  Yep, no guarantees on that one.  The doctor said he thinks it’s a girl, but he certainly wouldn’t take out his life savings on it.  Frankly, it looked completely non-definitive to me which could mean girl depending on what angle you were checking.  But this?  This was just non-descript.  We walked out, incredibly grateful for a healthy baby, but still dying with suspense.  I knew I was getting phenomenal ultrasounds with my obstetrician in Virginia, but I had no idea just how superior his equipment really was until I experienced this.  Seriously, we used to watch blood flow through the heart, count fingers and toes instead of only ensuring there were arms and legs and see baby’s face in color well enough to see that Liam was going to resemble Adam!  Thankfully, they offered to do a quick gender peek the next time I come in which is great.  I just wonder if we’ll actually be able to see anything more the next time.  Don’t tell me I’m going to have to keep guessing until February!

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We barely got back to camp in time for the end of session party night.  The next morning at 5, camp staff rolled out the lane on a big bus headed South for the annual conference.  Conference is always over Labor Day Weekend, but since the boy’s camp in Florida was hosting this year, they postponed it until the October home visit to keep the Northerners from dying of heat stroke.  Adam worked super hard on his school work before we went and did all five days work in three so that he wouldn’t have to take his books along.  I was dreading the traveling with a passion.  Liam gets carsick any time we travel in the morning and my mornings are still touch and go.  Throwing up is never fun.  Throwing up on a bus sounds like pure misery.  Plus, I knew we couldn’t just stop to get food when the cravings demanded it.

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But traveling on the bus as opposed to driving it by ourselves turned out to be a good thing in some ways.  For one thing, we didn’t have to drive.  This is enormous on a long trip, especially.  The boys were so excited about traveling on the bus they woke up at 3:15 that morning, an hour earlier than needed!  They didn’t need to sit in car seats which made traveling a breeze.  Only once did I hear the question, “Are we almost there?”  and I’m convinced not being buckled made all the difference in the world.  They had all the snacks they could wish for, books to read, a new coloring book they loved, movies to watch, and people to talk to.  Best of all, neither Liam or I threw up thanks to many, many people praying!

We overnighted in a small community in Georgia who completely outdid themselves in their hospitality.  Seriously, their church had weekend meetings scheduled and they changed it so they could host our group.  Not only did they host us overnight, they offered to serve us supper when we got there.  I haven’t been away from normal Mennonite church life to forget just how busy those kinds of weekends are and I was blown away by their warmth and generosity!  It was such a gift getting to talk with friends I haven’t seen in years and then to stay with the lovely Clarita overnight.  I almost had to pinch myself as we drove in the lane to convince myself I was actually about to walk into the charming cottage I’ve admired so often on pictures!  Pictures rarely do justice to a place and her house is no exception.  But the one thing that pictures can’t tell you is what the atmosphere feels like in a home.  Some things you just have to experience in order to know.  Clarita’s house is so restful.  Beautiful in so many ways, yes, but also infused with such a spirit of rest.  It made me think a lot about our home.  About me.  Because you can’t have a restful home without being at rest in your own spirit.  Being at rest doesn’t necessarily mean the absence of crazy demands on your day, but it does mean boundaries.  That balance is something I constantly wrestle with.  When does saying no mean I’m being selfish and when does it mean I’m looking out for our health and the emotional health of our family?  When is too much really too much?

And then there was day two of traveling.  It’s so obvious to say we were delighted to get there it feels redundant to say it the first time!  Florida is so warm and beautiful and seeing camp in a completely different setting was so fascinating.  Aren’t the thatch roofs absolutely charming?  I told David I’m pretty sure we’re living at the wrong camp.  He said that was up to God and I thought maybe I should start chatting with God about that.  Then I heard about the alligators and the black swamp and the wierd amoeba that hangs out in the still water and causes a brain eating disease and got completely bitten up by the mosquitos and I thought I’d probably better get back on the bus for Maryland.  I’ve always said there is no safer place than in the will of God, but I think maybe you’d want to be really sure it was God’s idea and not yours if you lived there!

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Less than forty-eight hours later we were on the road toward home.  Yep, you read that right.  Seventy-two hours on a bus for less than forty-eight on location.  It’s the name of the game.  We drove straight through on the way home and arrived at our own house around 9 a.m. feeling like we’d just walked out of the spa.  Not.  Thankfully, the campers didn’t come back until Tuesday so David helped get things put away and the laundry started before the boys and I diligently plowed into our school work for the week and he went downstairs to work on the basement project.  Less than twenty-four hours after we got home the laundry was done and the suitcases were re-packed and loaded as the boys and I headed to Virginia to see Adam’s surgeon.  He also needed to see the orthodontist and I knew there was no way I could pull off six hours on the road and two doctor’s appointments after the long trip so we broke them into separate days and overnighted at my mom’s house where we got royally spoiled.  The orthodontist gave us good news and said Adam’s mouth looks so much better and while he’ll need braces eventually we can wait and come back in a year.  This is huge after hearing that he would probably need surgery.  The surgeon on the other hand said pretty much the same thing they did last time.  There’s a stubborn little spot in Adam’s ulna that is not meshing.  Surgery to do the rod removal is scheduled for the end of the month and he’ll have to wear a splint for ten days.  If it still hasn’t meshed, he has to go back into a cast for awhile.  Who knew a broken arm could turn into a four month ordeal?

We returned home Wednesday night and Thursday night Adam saw David walk upstairs with a suitcase in hand.  A look of absolute horror crossed his face and he said, “PLEASE don’t say the word, travel!”  Luckily for him it was just David heading out for a two day job in DC!  Meanwhile we stayed home and did school attempting to catch up for all the lost hours on the road.  And did more school.  And did more school.  And more school until we were both completely burned out.  I’m not sure which of us is dreading tomorrow morning’s Math lesson more.  The spirit in our house isn’t restful tonight, it’s dread.

So whether or not you homeschool, I’m sure you’ve hit burnout on something ….. work, exercise, parenting, art, dieting, writing……whatever it is.  What’s your go to for getting out of the funk?  I will take any and all suggestions and the sooner the better.


Autumn Perfection and a Barn Sale

On Sunday, the temperature was pushing 90 as the sun convinced us summer was still here.  It was the perfect day for an afternoon bike ride on the Allegany Passage.  Fifteen miles of beauty with a 1% downgrade almost the entire way?  Yes, that is pretty close to perfection.

Autumn

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Allegany Passage

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On Monday, the thermometer barely reached sixty as a steady rain drizzled the parched earth with liquid life drops.  Fall candles, apple dumplings, fuzzy blankets … the perfect way to start Monday’s school work since no one wanted to go outside anyway.  Don’t you love it when the weather meshes with your plans like vanilla ice cream melting in molten chocolate lava cakes?

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This fall has been beautiful in so many ways.  Cool, then warm, then hot, then perfect with glorious splashes of color and phenomenal sunsets.  It’s been so gentle in it’s introduction to the bone-chilling winds that lurk around the corner, ready to bury us in winter’s icicles.  For now, there are apples and pumpkins and plenty of sunshine.  Short sleeves one day and hoodies the next.

It’s also been a fall filled with fun things.  One of my favorite’s this year was the Perennial Barn Sale in Virginia.  I first heard about the sale when Amelia messaged me to see if I’d consider being a guest vendor.  After browsing their facebook page, I was thrilled at the chance!  It’s a lovely sale and the perfect way to get excited about fall.  Even when you’ve grown up thinking fall kind of smells like death and depression.  Who me?  Oh, yeah, that’s me.

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I loved being surrounded by so much local talent and beauty!  Handmade signs, vintage jewelry, june jars, pottery, darling baby outfits, and oh my stammering taste buds, food that was just beyond description.  My booth was across from this one and let me tell you, the pumpkin scones were phenomenal!  Served with a dollop of cream on the side …. just take me back ….

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There was barbecue and happy people browsing booths and pumpkin painting and donuts and coffee and live music and laughter!

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Like usual, I waited until the week of to start thinking about my booth.  Note to self: no matter how many times you’ve done it, this is still not a good idea.  🙂  It was fun pulling items out of corners and arranging them and sparked my dormant want-to-do-a-small project gene.  Maybe I should make mock deadlines for myself and see if they happen.

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I love that old white barn door for a backdrop behind my booth!  Too bad it didn’t fit into the stuffed to the gills van for the trip home.  I wonder if Amy would have missed it? 😉

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If you’re in the area next year, you really should check it out.  It’s the perfect place to eat, shop, relax, linger … just like the sign says.  It’s also the perfect place to be inspired, to make peace with autumn’s arrival, and to meet up with some talented people!

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Til next time …………..


Funnies from around the house

I’ve gotten slack about writing down the things the boys say thinking, “Oh, I’ll remember this one.”  Unfortunately, by the time David gets home from work, I can’t even remember what someone said two hours prior.  I think it’s called occupied brain space.  So I’m back to scrawling the gist of things on notebook paper.  That way when I’m retired and have “absolutely nothing to do today” just like the two people at the grocery store yesterday who insisted the other should go first, I’ll be able to hang out and read old quotes and remember these days that are brim full and running over.

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Adam’s Math problems are growing more complicated now that he’s hit fourth grade.  The other day he had a long addition string that looked something like this:   31 + 14 + 27 + N = 90.  He was laboring over it when he looked up and said, “Do you know how I think of it?  It’s like straining out the evidence.”

Stinkbugs are flooding our house, just as they probably are every other house in the country.  If there’s an area that is still unaffected, let me know.  I may want to move there.  Unless you’re further North than I am.  I declared war with a tissue in hand when Adam piped up from behind me, “Be careful, Mommy.  These bugs engage in chemical warfare.”

Liam was sitting on my lap, coloring, when he reached toward the jar of colored pencils rooting through toward the aqua one.  “I think I’ll choose awkward,” he said.  If only I didn’t choose that color so often inadvertently. 🙂

But the funniest QOTD happened not at our house, but while Liam and I shopped at T J Maxx.  I rounded an endcap where a twenty something male store associate engaged in animated conversation with a female shopper in her fifties.  “………And they had one of those ovulating fans ……..”  He didn’t miss a beat, but I heard little else as I shot around the next corner.


Summer Photo Recap

Summer went by like a mirage.  It’s over.  I know this because I baked scones tonight.  In 2005 David and I spent almost two months in Ireland.  Now, whenever summer turns into fall, my subconscious insists I bake scones and top them with butter, strawberry jam, and real whipped cream.  Beyond fabulous and foolproof knowledge of fall’s arrival.

Summer feels like only a blur of lying on the sofa exhausted and nauseous and / or driving hours and hours for doctor’s visits; but tonight as I scrolled through the pictures of Summer 2013 I realized there were moments of real summer interspersed between the sofa attachment hours and van seat attachment hours.

There was that idyllic beginning of summer as we watched the landscape morph from brown and barren to lush and green, made even more so this year by the phenomenal amounts of rain.

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The fun surprise of dozens and dozens of daffodils in the otherwise mostly bare landscaping beds.

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And the not so easy job of transplanting them all in the field on a night when the gnat population exceeded the population of Maryland in our field alone.  Here’s hoping they survive.  The daffodils, not the gnats.

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The fun of yard games like croquet and a very rare sunny afternoon at the Middle Ford.  The beginning of this summer we were either on the road or it was raining.  Well, pretty much.

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An introduction to glasses for Adam.  He’s needed them for almost a year, but he kept desperately trying to compensate and insisted his eyes were fine because he was afraid of how he would look when he wore them.  Now that they’re here, he can’t wait until he looks “more normal with glasses than without.”

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A rare quiet evening at home … just us … no activity to rush off to …

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Adam’s developing art skills ….

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… as well as piano.  He played two songs at a local church in April.  In some ways, he is so much like me he makes me laugh.  Then there are other times when I know he pulled genes from some place that skipped me entirely.  Like his ability to draw … and to pick up piano so quickly … and the fact that he hates cheese.

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There were tiny baby chicks ….

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and slow, lazy mornings

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Happy hours of play time …

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and a local fishing derby.  The man who works ahead and then goes out of town to a second job working long days before coming home  — coincidentally just in time for the first day of catch and keep trout fishing — and who takes his boys to the local, over-rated fishing derby to catch three inch fish for prizes …… that man is a hero in my book.

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There was the two day canoe trip as a reward to Adam for saying his two, enormous previous school years Bible Memory portions that also turned out to be my introduction to camping in the r o u g h.  I *thought* I’d camped roughing style when I was a teenager because we slept out under the stars in a field and cooked all our food over a fire we built ourselves.  I didn’t realize that really rough meant you couldn’t run home for trashbags you forgot or pick up donuts at Donuts Delite the next morning. 🙂

Rough means you have no idea where you will camp that night and after asking for permission at several places and being declined, you pick a deserted spot with knee high grass and start weed whacking with an oar.  It means you cut firewood on the spot instead of bringing it along.

The river was gorgeous … and scary.  Supposedly a placid river, it was feet higher than normal. We’d barely been in the canoe before rounding a curve in the river and hitting a class three rapid on steroids.  Enormous rocks jutted out of white water on every side and all I could do was yell right and left to David, paddle as hard as I could, and pray for guardian angels with every fiber in my being.  We were loaded to the gills and this was NOT what we’d envisioned for canoeing with two boys.  If we capsized, someone was liable to have a brain concussion from hitting a rock and getting help wasn’t going to be easy.  We survived, thanks to angels I’m convinced.  Before long we hit another rapid just like it.  Three foot waves are too much for a canoe and we’d bounce down over one only to have water from the next come flying into the canoe.  Still, we didn’t dump.  After that, we hit a number of rapids but none of them so intense.  By the fourth or fifth rapid, I decided to give up my preconceived ideas of floating along enjoying the sun and embrace the adrenalin rush.  We yelled every time the waves splashed in and hit us and before long the boys were yelling and laughing with delight, too.  Thankfully, day two was much more placid although the current was still so swift our canoe raced along to fast to fish.  Adam was sorely disappointed.

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All hands on deck to set up campsite.  Liam dug the privy.  Adam started cutting kindling for firewood and David started setting up the tarp as quickly as possible since rain was threatening.

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Mornings are even more beautiful when you’re outside to watch them surface.  Unless, of course, you’re six weeks pregnant and too sick to think of anything as beautiful.

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We loved seeing a bald eagle fly ahead of us as though he wanted to escort us down the river.  Later, a blue heron did the honors.

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There was the day Mom came to visit after we brainstormed about making a canopy for the boys bed.  Instead, I was on the recliner all day with nausea, cramping, and spotting while she and the boys cleaned our kitchen like it hadn’t been cleaned since I’d gotten pregnant.

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And then summer changed drastically because of Adam’s broken arm.

There were still a few trips to the Middle Ford, but they seemed to include as much chip eating as water play.

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There were fun packages in the mail and sometimes in person with delightful gifts that helped slay the I-can’t-do-anything-dragon.

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There were the aforementioned gaZILlion trips to the doctor that involved hours and hours on the road and took up whole days at a time.

Some days, David headed three hours one direction on work-related business and I headed three hours the other direction for a doctor visit.  Sometimes I wonder if we’re singlehandedly keeping the fuel economy stoked.  Mostly, I feel incredibly grateful for safety and that we actually get reunited at home after twelve hours.  It was a happy morning the day we left for cast removal.

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The process was so much more painful than I’d anticipated.  Adam’s skin was badly broken down, probably from sweat, and they had to carefully peel / tear his cast off his skin.  A large section of skin tore off on the inner part of his elbow and his entire arm was covered with a small skin tears and a large, red, rash.  The instant he scratched, he tore more skin open.  When they finally got it all off, we walked down the hall toward radiology and he became extremely light headed and the next thing I knew he was about to throw up.  The receptionist there told me that kids sometimes react to cast removal.  They took great care of us and thankfully sitting with his head down and a drink of cold water took care of most of it.  They custom-fitted him with a removable brace and I naively thought this would be a walk in the park from here on out.  I was wrong.  He had much more pain with his cast off, especially in his wrist.  They double-checked the xray to see if they’d missed anything, but hadn’t.  By the next morning, his hand had had 3+ edema and his lower forearm was much more swollen.  I switched to an ACE bandage inside the brace and we kept his arm elevated as much as possible.  Life went back to the slow lane for a few days until his arm got strong enough to support itself in the brace.  We used coconut oil, evening primrose oil, and Vitamin E oil on his skin.  It took two weeks for the rash to dissipate and about that long for the swelling to disappear.  When the swelling subsided, we had a new difficulty.  The rod sticks out, giving him the look of a second elbow when he bends his arm.  Let’s just put it this way, even brushing lightly against something hurts!

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But there were happy surprises, too.  Adam can write numbers quite well with his left hand and words are legible if produced slowly.

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Summer was a good thing, even if it didn’t go the way summers normally do.

There were tons and tons of rainy days, but there was also an incredibly lush garden that superseded my wildest imaginations.

There was pain and inconvenience and way too much road time, but there is a healing arm and a growing baby to celebrate.

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There is the mental overload that is homeschooling, but there are smiles of delight and the easiness of teaching kindergarden.

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School is easier the second year than the first … even with adding a kindergarden student, morning sickness, and a broken arm.

There is remodel dirt (Didn’t we decide to build our house in a way that meant we wouldn’t have to put our family through this schedule again??? Some days I feel like the Johnny Appleseed of houses.) and days when it feels as though David works for camp six long days a week instead of five normal days, but there is expansion happening in the basement in the form of raw basement being converted to living space.

And like always, there were flowers, and cherry tomatoes to mix with basil and fresh mozarella sprinkled with red wine vinegar and sea salt.  I feel like a millionaire when I walk out the kitchen door to snip fresh basil.

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Yep, it’s been a rich summer.

And to the scones, I forgive you for convincing me to say goodbye to summer.

Welcome, fall.

 


Rabbit Hunting in the Garden

What are little boys made of, made of?

What are little boys made of?

Rabbit hunting

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Bright orange so the other hunters can see them

Lying in the dirt

Big plans

Whispered Conversations so as not to scare the rabbits

Loooooong hunting trips that start fifteen minutes before supper

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Rabbit Hunting

Supper while hunting

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Supper in the garden

Meanwhile, two parents smiled at the thought of a quiet dinner on the deck with a bowl full of freshly chopped salsa to share.  Paper plates instead of elegance?  At this point, that’s just worth smiling about because hey, fewer dishes!

Fresh salsa

Five minutes later, two boys were all done hunting, hungry for refills and asking for lots more of that fresh salsa.

That’s what little boys are made of, made of.


School Begins

How could I possibly remember so clearly, yet forget so totally how involving and intense it is to homeschool?

It’s Day number One and I feel the curtains closing down around my life for the next nine months.  See you in May!

Kidding.

Well, kind of.

A few weeks ago when I told Adam we were starting school in three weeks he barely looked up from the book he was reading and said, “I hope I die before then.”

The next morning at breakfast Liam asked if we were starting school that day.  When I said not for three more weeks he thumped his fist on the table and vehemently declared, “That is SO annoying.”

The three weeks are up and here we are with sharpened pencils, new notebooks, the thick pages of brand new textbooks that barely stay open and a surprising amount of enthusiasm.

Adam has warmed up now that we’re here and surprised me with both his tenacity and his personal goals to be more disciplined.  He is slowly starting to realize that he loves to learn.  When our Science lesson today studied the four ways scientists learn, he merely nodded.  Then tonight in the bathtub as he tried hard to be more adept at independently bathing with his left arm while keeping his right arm safely out of the way of swishing water, he kept playing with an empty bottle.

“I know why you can put it straight down into the water and it won’t fill because air is pushing down on the water and it can’t escape; but I can’t figure out why when I pull it back up out of the water when it’s full, it doesn’t fill with air.”

“Well, that’s because the opening is covered by water and air can’t get in.”

“That’s what I thought,” he said.  “Shoot.  I should have tried to prove it.”

“Do you realize you just did the four steps of Science?” I asked.  “Remember there is observation, then gathering that information and studying it, then you make a hypotheses and prove it true.”  He lit up like a 600 watt bulb and I remembered again that even though it’s not my first choice, homeschooling has some phenomenal benefits.

I love that the boys play together so much more than they did when Adam went to school.  I love not packing lunches or cleaning out dirty ones.  I love our slightly calmer mornings than when we had to rush out the door instead of walking to the living room.  I love that we can make our schedule flexible when we need to.  And even though I feel a little {or a lot} claustrophobic, I love that I will get to remember hours and hours and hours of their childhood I’d have completely missed otherwise.

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Cheers to the 2013-2014 school year!  Whether you are sending yours to school or teaching them at home, I wish you the best of everything possible!