Saturday December 26, 2009

Yesterday our little family was at home alone. It was perfect. We have never in the seven years we’ve been married been home alone for a Thanksgiving or Christmas and rarely for New Years either. But since we did a double family holiday at Thanksgiving, it worked out that way. I suspect this won’t happen again for a very long time so we made the most of it.

The guys shut down their company from noon Christmas Eve til January 2 every year. And with Christmas and New Years Day falling on Friday plus the big snow that powered them down a little early, we are having a super long vacation. David took off all day Thursday instead of quitting at noon and we went to town to get fish and one or two other essentials I wanted. In the middle of traffic frenzy we meandered around choosing what we needed and delightedly watching the boys thrill over their lunch at Wendys. Such a normal little thing that suddenly feels like a miracle. I know that french fries are not healthy and David reminds me that Liam would have been better off without; but french fries are so much fun for kids! Wendys doesn’t have any wheat or milk in their fries like McDonalds does so Liam gets to indulge occasionally. He just loves them. And frankly, he probably needs a little unhealthy fat in there. He gets so many vitamins and supplements that David often shakes his head as he adds acidophilous, vitamin C, and omega 3-6-9 to his evening yogurt. “You’re going to live forever, boy,” he says sarcastically.

David took the boys outside in the snow while I finished up the cleaning and laundry after we got home. Between the snow, Liam’s abbreviated nap in the car and Adam’s non-existant nap, the boys were exhausted by bedtime and surprised us by sleeping til 8 the next morning in spite of the excitement.

It was so much fun to open gifts in the morning and have lots of time to play with them. Adam was thrilled beyond words with his fireman gear from Liam. I had so much fun choosing things for the boys this year. Since it was our year to get together with David’s family for Christmas, we started a Christmas fund in January so that we’d have the money ready when December rolled around instead of stressing. Every month, we put an alloted amount in the envelope. Well December came and we got to splurge a little on ourselves instead. After two years of saying, “No, I’m sorry, we can’t buy that,” over and over again, it was a blast to choose fun things!

And of course, guess what the boys played with most? Cardboard box and boards.

My favorite gift to David was a CD of the Kings Singers. (He got the other part of his gift early when he unpacked my suitcase after I told him not to look in it. He said, “Well, I thought it would be in a bag or something that I wouldn’t just see it.) One of my very favorite Christmas moments was when the boys were down for naps and we stood in the kitchen with our arms around each other and laughed and laughed at the words to the first song on the CD because I knew even before he said it that it describes me almost uncannily. I couldn’t find the Kings Singers version (which is absolutely gorgeous) on youtube but here’s a similar version.

Ever since we’ve moved here I have wished and wished for end tables for our living room. We have exactly one sofa and one recliner plus one scratched and dented end table from a thrift store that is sometimes in the living room after serving as my nightstand for awhile. I want more furniture so we have more seating room someday; but for now I at least want a place to set my coffee mug and more importantly a place to put lamps. David is a stickler on comfort lighting. He hates overhead lights with a passion. We have exactly two dim lamps in the living room; but he will entertain there in the darkness much to my chagrin. I love lamplight, too, but you’ve got to have enough of it and if you don’t have it then TURN THE LIGHTS ON! He says I should buy lamps but I don’t want floor lamps if we’re going to have end tables some day and I’m not going to buy table lamps if we don’t have anything but the floor to set them on. After hemming and hawing and not really knowing what I wanted for Christmas, I woke up to the truth less then a week prior. End tables.

When we go shopping for furniture, it’s useless. We walk into a store and David immediately starts jiggling the drawer a little, checking to see if it’s dovetailed, tapping and checking the quality of the wood, the way it’s put together, the finish …. “piece of junk” he mutters. I could make something with quality for that price. But if we go to a store with gorgeous, quality furniture there are more problems. One. We probably can’t afford it. Or two, he mutters about being able to do the same thing for half the price. I do not like that it is probably going to take us twenty-five years to get furniture in our house; but I do think it is very special to have a house with beautiful, custom pieces made just for us by someone who loves us very much. So I emailed him at work one day and told him I really wanted end tables for Christmas and since it’s such short notice he could just get the lumber and make them later. I gave him a few other easy options but tried to drop enough hints that he would know how very much I wanted end tables.

I can almost never surprise him. He on the other hand, can lead me up and down to kalamazoo and I never know what he is planning. It took him forever and a day to wrap my gift and when it landed on the pile with the rest it was about two feet long and a few inches wide. I honestly was expecting a pile of lumber out back or then a very tiny box indicating a certificate inside. Especially after Adam tried to be like me and give me hints without telling the secret and said it has something to do with tools. The bad thing was I couldn’t even remember what else I’d told him I wanted and so I had no idea if this was the right shape for any of them or not. Halfway into the package the next morning I knew what he’d done and oh, I am almost giddy! Who would have dreamed a woman could get so happy about two boards?

We also used some of our Christmas money to buy fresh fish for dinner. David, Adam, and I all love fish; but we rarely buy it. I couldn’t remember ever giving fish to Liam; but he eats shrimp so I thought I’d risk it. More then anything else, I wanted to come up with a menu that we all love AND that is Liam friendly. I’m not sure why this is so important to me; because he would have happily sat there eating something different. But especially on special days like this, I want to celebrate in a way that includes him 100%. We chose wild caught salmon and flounder. David grilled them both; the salmon basted with a molasses and vinegar sauce and the flounder with olive oil, Lawrys season salt and garlic salt. I served an herbed rice pilaf and greek salad (two of our other family favorites) on the side and Liam got cooked carrots instead of the salad. He eats cooked carrots almost like marshmallows. And just like our family, no one wanted any dessert. Just more fish, please. Adam and Liam both asked for additional helpings on fish FIVE times!


We flew through the dishes and headed out to sled. It started sprinkling rain as we headed out but we didn’t care. All those hills that are so horrid to mow and don’t leave us much room for playing ball in the summer turn into natural wonders in the snow. And I learned all over again why boys have daddies and not just overly protective mommies. David sent Liam down on a saucer by himself. I shrieked the first time I watched him go even though he told me he’d done it the day before and Liam loved it. He went flying down the hill just beaming. And when he got to the bottom of the hill, he said another new word. “Mo” (More)

Adam made his first gingerbread house this year, too. Knowing my very low frustration threshold with all things crafty that also include kids, I wisely waited till David was home to help. Liam mostly zoomed happily around on the floor playing and the three of us squirted frosting and placed candies. Adam insisted on icicles and a wreath and evergreens in the corners.

And now Christmas is over for another year; but vacation has just begun. I just feel so grateful and happy for this happy, happy time in our lives. Christmas a year ago wasn’t the easiest Christmas for us. I can hardly get over my gratitude at celebrating happily with my family. There are women who cried yesterday because their babies are in heaven instead of crawling around on their living room floor sticking wrapping paper in their mouth. There are women who cried yesterday because they would GLADLY have cooked enormous amounts of food yesterday if it meant they were celebrating with a husband and family instead of feeling indescribable pangs of loneliness deep inside their heart while their faces celebrated and laughed with siblings, parents, nieces and nephews. There are women who cried yesterday because their family is not a place of laughter and safety but a place of stress, slammed doors, and meals eaten in silence. There are women who cried yesterday because instead of juggling a seven month old teething baby and Christmas dinner, they watch yet another woman glowingly announce her pregnancy and give birth while their womb remains empty. There are women who cried yesterday because they did not have enough food to fill their children’s hungry tummies. And there are women, like me, who cried with gratitude yesterday because they do have those things even though they don’t deserve them. Thank you, God.
{ more photos here }

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