Saturday January 22, 2011
It’s Saturday and David’s home!
How long has it been since we’ve had one of those stay around the house kind of Saturdays? Way. Too. Long. Last weekend he left for the Maryland boys camp at 5 AM and got back at 8 that night. The Saturday before was the church wood cutting. The boys have been in desperate need of one of those follow-my-dad-around-and-use-his-tools kind of Saturdays.
Does sleeping in skip generations or does it not actually ever happen in children carrying Y chromosomes? I have yet to figure this one out. 7:30 and in comes Liam with his recently discovered siamese twin (a doll). “ou old du baby,” he says. Adam was right behind him. David kindly shushed them and brought them downstairs while I stayed upstairs and pretended to sleep in.
We used to always cook breakfast on Saturday morning. You know, the nice big kind of breakfast that lets you get by with a little snack instead of lunch. But when Liam reacted to eggs there were so few things we could eat it became a much more sporadic habit. And in December when David wanted to get to the shop to work, it was so much quicker just to grab the normal cereal fare. But this morning was different.
This morning we had pancakes (recipe below) and easy over eggs for three of us for the first time in ages. The boys cheered and cheered. Liam started digging into his pancake and when David asked him if he likes it, he nodded yes so emphatically his entire body shook. 
And then he said, “Dis is aMAZing,” and he and Adam both started clapping and cheering.
So far they’ve been to Lowes and run the drill while David put new casters on the table. I’ve heard the sander run, fire extinguishers get hung, and a light switch changed out. Adam is painting a board (one he cut himself with a bandsaw and that I am going to be gifted at some point) and David is staining a frame for my dad. And I already know that tomorrow and all next week, the boys will be different for this time spent with their daddy. He has no idea what an enormous gift he gives them.
Last Saturday was a different picture. They like me. I know they do. They just need their dad. I knew it was going to be a terribly long day, especially since they are programmed for dad time. So I was all prepared. We did crafts at the table and made a winter sun catcher.
I made a (somewhat redneck) target for Adam and bundled both boys up to go outside to try it out. His first shot completely missed the target and cracked in the woods. Then I took a second look. “Adam, you have to actually look through the scope.”
“Oh,” he said. I watched him for a few minutes then pushed Liam on the swing. When Liam opted for the sandbox, I opted to head inside after refreshing BB gun safety rules with Adam. I was watching from the kitchen window as I cleaned up dishes and not five minutes later Adam came in the side door. “I’m done,” he announced. Nonplussed I remembered words from a mom friend in church, “You expect too much of yourself. It’s totally ok to tell your children they have to stay outside for twenty minutes.”
I tried it. It was cold, but he was well bundled. The problem was boredom and wanting attention (and after hours of my undivided attention he clearly wasn’t lacking). I sent him back out the door with a few suggestions and he dutifully rode his bike a time or two across the back yard. Not five minutes later I heard him tramping up the basement steps completely bereft of coat and paraphernalia. “I’m going to do jobs for you, Mom,” in the sweetest tone imaginable. Manipulation at it’s finest. I was just ready to say, “Sorry, buddy, you have fifteen more minutes of outside time,” when I heard Liam also tromping up the steps.
“Did you get Liam undressed, too?”
Yes.
And I hate to admit it, but he won. Why I did not make him go back out alone I’ll never know. Call it a bad moment of weakness.
What do you do when your boys are bored? Why can he sometimes come up with the most elaborate pretend play and the next day be completely incapable of feeling inspired to play anything even with suggestions? How do you teach them to be independent? He would have stayed out there for two hours if I’d have stayed out there and cheered his shots. Is that really necessary? No. How is he ever going to learn to do a grown up job without someone hovering?
I’m pretty sure the bad habit started when we lived at our other house right next to a pond. I absolutely did not let him go outside unless I was out with him and even then he had to stay within my eyesight. When we moved here he had just turned three. I worried a little about the road, but I let him go outside. Unfortunately, the neighbors had this enormous, very hyper, bad mannered dog that would come and jump on Adam and knock him over. He was terrified and refused to go out. The dog must have moved because he hasn’t shown up for almost two years. But by that time Adam was four and simply refusing to go out. Last summer he would go outside sometimes if Liam went with him, but most of the time it was too hot or too sunny or too boring. The only thing he wants to do is dig huge holes in the garden (not the sandbox) so once it’s planted full he thinks there is no reason to go outside. How can I get him enthused about playing outside when it’s nice?
But back to Saturday, Adam claimed it was a very fun day. All I’m going to say about that is that it didn’t go down on record in my book quite the same way. And I am thoroughly enjoying listening to David take care of issues like Adam deliberately choosing to play with Liam’s truck and trailer because he knows it will make him scream and then bossily saying, “He’s grabbing.” I like hearing him take care of Adam pouncing on Liam for the five millionth time this month even though he *knows* Liam hates it and it will make him scream. I adore the fact that he gives them food at lunch time and that for one meal out of the week I do not have to say, “Adam, lean forward. Adam, close your mouth when you chew. Liam, get your fingers out of your mouth. Adam, don’t scrape your food off your spoon with your teeth. Liam, keep eating.”
I know that life with kids is kind of like the Israelites rebuilding the wall. “Line upon line. Precept upon precept. Here a little and there a little.” But sometimes stepping back from the front lines for a few hours helps me to see the wall again instead of having my eyes smeared shut with mortar. Maybe it’s not just the boys that get their buttons reset with daddy time.
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Pancakes (the gluten, dairy, egg free version)
Combine:
2 heaping tsp flax meal
2 T. water
Microwave for 30 seconds
(If you’re not allergic to eggs, you can use 1 egg instead)
2 c. milk (we use goat milk and it is the one thing I have never yet been able to tell the difference)
2 T. oil
1 1/2 c yellow corn meal
2/3 c. buck wheat flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 tsp sugar
Mix all ingredients. Stir until smooth. Fry in oil on hot nonstick griddle. I found that out the hard way this morning when I tried to use my stainless steel pan. In spite of being well covered with a layer of oil, the pancakes stuck to the pan so much I could not flip them.
I always feel like I’m living in Laura Ingalls days when I make pancakes with buckwheat flour. And I feel more shocked than ever at the stacks of pancakes Almanzo used to eat. These pancakes fill you up fast.
Happy Saturday! I hope something happy is in your food future. We’re having tacos.
that “target” scrawled across the bottom? i am worried i will never be able to throw away anything my kids write…it is too priceless!
i thought of you this morning when my boys put their coats on over their pjs and played outside for at least two hours. and then still didn’t want to come in! sorry. i am no help. 🙂
@mlt10202002 –
They did what? In your FREEZING Montana cold weather?????? AAAACCCCKKKKK what mom skill am I so desperately lacking. Nice of you to at least think of me. Send my boys “play outside” vibes next time. 🙂 Oh, and I’ve been meaning to tell you, I think of you every time I pick up organic produce at the grocery store. 🙂
That 2nd to the last paragraph …. THAT is what I get soo soooo weary of. Constantly correcting, telling them No for this, or Please do that, it seems like I never have anything positive to say to my kids!!! There are days when I just want to stick my head in the sand and let them do whatever they jolly well please! Then Eric comes out with that phrase about “Line upon line…one of these days they will…” and I could groan! One of these days. Just maybe, one of these days…we’ll have a peaceful meal. ~Glad you had a wonderful Saturday. Mine was rather chilly. -12. 🙂
Food happiness going on here tonight. We are actually going out!! Yay for birthdays, cause eating out is rare in this house. I feel for you and your cooking trials with Liam, that has to be so frustrating, yet you seem so accepting of it. Blessings to you!
yep, we had one of the kind of Saturdays today that you had…everyone at home for a Change of pace…daddy time our kids were in dire need of too, and it not only does them good, but me too. big time!!
happy saturday, and may your Sunday be a lovely day of rest!!
“They just need their dad.” i so get that. oh my word do i ever. 🙂 this too; “Maybe it’s not just the boys that get their buttons reset with daddy time.” hahaha. yes indeedy.
and children with the Y chroma-thingy in this house didn’t sleep past 5:30-6:30 am for the first 13 years.
i think we just trade “hards” as they get older. you are the coolest for pulling out guns and i loved checking out your christmas card display. very clever. as well as fun seeing friends that we share. 🙂
I too am loving the Christmas card branch, I was already mentally scanning my house for a spot for one next year. I always love the photos of ‘normal life’ that you throw up. Your house just looks sooo welcoming, and i love the fact that you guys always seem to be drinking out of goblets
Our meals and play time isn’t photo worth recently. That says a lot if you care to think that deep. 🙂
Breakfast looks YUMMY! The branch does thrill me to, love the idea. I don’t like orange juice, but yours does look tasty in the goblet.
Boys playing outside- Alex sounds just like Adam. I am hoping Kysons adventuresome character will inspire outdoor interests for Alex this next summer.
daddy time, priceless
loved your Saturday~ from the pretending to sleep in {that’s so me!}. to the shouts of glee over the pancakes. and the description of following daddy around. my own dad called while i was reading this and i thought how very much, even when we’re all grown up, time with our dad means!
you’re such a fun, spunky mom. and of course the kids always win – they’re just way cuter than us! and obviously, more clever at times too!! 🙂
“But sometimes stepping back from the front lines for a few hours helps me to see the wall again instead of having my eyes smeared shut with mortar.” -loved this part. so true!
gonna copy off that recipe for a friend who’s just had to go to a gluten free diet for one of her boys~
@madisonsmom2 –
thAt is coLd!
@Carsonsmom2 –
Lucky night for you! It might be rare at your house; but I suspect it’s rarer here. Aside from grabbing Chick Fil A lunches and dinner out twice on vacation, I don’t think we’ve done a family dinner out since Liam was diagnosed. It just feels like missing the point if you have to take someone’s food along.
@down_onthefarm –
YIKES! 5:30 – 6:30 I am so not complaining one more minute. 7:30 is very doable on a Saturday morning. But tell me this, why do they sleep til 8 on Sunday?
@fruitloops115 –
Today was special. That’s why there were goblets. 🙂 I’m getting better at dressing up the table again. My mom used to do it a lot when we were little. But the everyday dishes are down where the boys can reach them so they can set the table so it doesn’t happen except on special occasions. And we don’t have juice cups right now, so goblets were kind of a nice size. But I would still love if you’d come. I’d pull out the china for sure. 🙂
@seekinHISwisdom –
I’ve been missing you. I hope your crazy gets better soon b/c I know so well what you mean by that “meals and play time is not photo worthy” phrase. Been there, too. Hang in there, girl.
@grace2be –
Please do take the recipe. It wasn’t mine to begin with. I don’t have terribly many, but I’ve been trying to post some of my allergy friendly recipes so that if ever I find someone in the same desperate straits I was in last August I can say, “here, I have recipes to share.” I tagged them all food allergy so if you have your friend click on the food allergy tag, they will all show up. Hopefully she’ll find a few they like.
@smilesbymiles –
okay. i figured you had to have more. i’ll pass that along to her.
Ah yes, gotta love them Saturdays. We had one here, too after some broad hinting on my end. It had been SO long since we had a “Family Saturday” and I just wanted it so bad. We slept in,(yes even the kids
) and goofed off around here. Then we went grocery shopping, (what wife doesn’t like help with that?) we went to the library, and then we ended it by eating out. Yay! We’re all feeling pretty happy tonight. Sometimes a Daddy day is all it takes.
And those last two paragraphs… can I ever identify! So.much! I get so tired of scolding, and I wonder- Will they ever learn? Sigh!
i loved that branch you did with the christmas cards. what a pure genius idea. 🙂 🙂
so happy you got to savor some special happy family times. cool stamping idea too. thanks for sharing it with us…
Daddy time-it is required for survival! My boys have each other to play with and being 16 months apart pry’ helps more than I think, altho’ at the moment I wouldn’t have recommended it to anyone.;)They can spend hours outside, in the cold. I’m sure you’ve tried racing cars down table boards, and Legos, oh! What would we do without Lego’s? And stories on CD…and yes, sometimes it’s crazy wild stuff that should never be allowed in a house! I hope things get better soon, but at least your temps are warmer. I would not even think of wearing short sleeves IN the house right now!
It’s not just boys that need that daddy-time! My two little girls desparately crave it as well! Yesterday was that kind of day for us too- and a much needed one too! Not sure why our Saturdays at home seem so very rare, but when they happen, are they ever special! And yes, I totally get the “Maybe it’s not just the boys that get their buttons reset with daddy time.” 😉 Exactly right!!
I think that is so cool you set you the target and got out the gun for Adam! Way to go!! I’m no help on the playing alone thing… 🙁 We live in town so I can’t really let the girls outside by themselves either… That is the one thing I do miss about the country… Inside, they do pretty good – most days. Other days I wonder why they follow me *everywhere* I go…
Love that sneak peak into your kitchen… I was trying to see who I could see on your twiggy card holder… The coolest thing!! Now was that your idea or Christy’s? :))
@baileyandme –
The branch idea is actually Christy genius. I just copycat her and look like one. 😉
@lwstutz –
Ok, I am really sorry if your house is cold. No wonder I never want to leave mine. Two winters ago we started using a big woodstove in the basement that is connected to our heating system for the main floor and it is SOOOOOOO much warmer in here than the heat pump air. I love it. Plus, with the basement warmer, the floors aren’t so cold and I run around barefoot half the time.
@lifeisadance –
So glad you had a Saturday like that, too. Why are they so rare? David keeps reminding me it’s b/c I have the boys love tank filled up and he doesn’t and that’s why they’re so daddy-clingy. I hope he’s right. 😉 It’s at least a nicer thought than thinking they just about can’t wait to get away from me. 🙂
mmm, that b’fest looks and sounded wonderful. that was always a tradition at our house at home but i have not really started it since i’m married… slap me. someday i’ll grow up.
def. understand the daddy thing to… and can’t help but wonder what mothers do without a husband to help them out in that way and then i feel all spoiled. so happy you had such a saturday.
So fun to read about your day. I always love seeing pictures of you too, because just looking at your picture almost makes me feel more energetic!
I don’t think it is your fault that Adam doesn’t like to play outside by himself. I think once Liam gets a little older, they will go out and play together. Derrick never really was an outdoor kind of kid, but Kendall was, and once Kendall got to be 2 or 3, they would go out and play for hours! But they are only 2 1/2 years apart, so that time came a lot sooner.
I LOVE, LOVE lazy Saturdays like that. We have far too few of them!
That recipe looks yummy–I didn’t know buckwheat was gluten free. I’ve made pancakes recently with the new gluten-free Bisquick, and I honestly couldn’t tell they were gluten-free.