Sunday March 25, 2012
And we have tag #2. Which I have equally procrastinated completing. I’m not completely sure why except that I am good at procrastinating and secondly, I’m not sure how to answer all of these questions. Which leads me to question whether I am actually a writer at all. Isn’t it just a little telling that I actually headed over to dictionary.com and looked up meme?
The questions:
1. How long have you been blogging, and how often do you post?
I published my first blog post in August of 2006 so 5 1/2 years. My posting schedule is random because I don’t have one. I blog online when I have time and write in my head when I’m inspired and sometimes the two worlds collide and I actually get to post something a little more inspired. And yes, I know that to have a successful blog you must deliver regularly and frequently. I’m really not worried about successful blogging. I just need to write sometimes. And I love the social life it provides both through other bloggers and people who let me see snippets of their lives in the comments.
2. Have you had anything published, and if so, what and when?
Yes. A short article in the Calvary Messenger (a monthly periodical) when I was a teenager and two children’s books. My sister and I self-published a book for new brides.
You can order all three books here.
You can also find them on Amazon.
We Build A House
Marital Bliss with a Kiss of Reality
3. Who is the author who best speaks your language and who you would most like to be like, in style and message?
I loved Erma Bombeck for her concise, short humor and I liked John Grisham for his ability to keep you in suspense until the very last page. I hardly read enough these days to know a particular author well enough to say, “that’s the style I like.” I’ve only read a good book here and there. But what I wish that I could be in style is to always be fresh. Unfortunately, I get caught in the same trap so many other writers do and everything begins to sound the same. Same word choices. Same thought patterns. Same old. Same old. I wish I knew how to break that up a bit. Message? I wish that I could always convey an undercurrent of hope.
4. What do you see as the unique message God has given you to share with the world?
I’m not sure about this because it seems like something that you should feel called to and I haven’t felt that specifically. I do know that women often tell me they find themselves in my writing … that I put words to the feelings they weren’t able to express and it helped them to communicate with their husband, with others, or just to understand themselves. So I’m not sure that is a message from God but it is humbling every time I hear it … to know that the gift God gave me helped someone else. This is also why I feel so passionately that women need to share their gift instead of selfishly hoarding it because of their own fear.
5. Who or what has made you believe in yourself as a writer?
Affirmation from people. When I was in eighth grade my teacher frequently assigned little creative writing assignments. One day he read my (and another students) paper to the class. The other guy’s paper outshone mine like the sun outshines the moon, but his compliments on my descriptive phrasing were like rain in a parched teenager’s land. My first English semester in college the same thing happened. My professor read my paper to the class about two classes into the semester. He encouraged me to pursue writing (I was on a science track) throughout the entire semester. Later it was David who encouraged me the entire way through our marriage book. Having something published and so well-received has been affirming, but there is nothing like those first few people who draw out a gift in another person. I wonder what talent the world would see if we all encouraged the buried talent we see in other people?
6. Who or what has done the opposite?
Working with a publisher who stifled literary language with stilted realism among other things.
Being a Mennonite female writer is an oddity of sorts that can frequently leave you feeling alone and “out there.” I struggled with it some, especially because the culture in our church at the time did not always lend validity to what I was doing. All three of my books were published within one year and it was an incredibly overwhelming time … yet if someone called to see if I could take dinner in for someone my “busy” was not considered valid because I did not have many small children. In an effort to be honest with someone in leadership, we mentioned some of the scenarios that had happened … hoping that we could help to generate a more encouraging community not just for writing, but for others who might be involved in different things in the future. His answer essentially was, “This is not the time for you to be writing or to be having speaking engagements. This is your opportunity to be at home and have children.” It left me reeling for a long time. I felt called to write and I think that his answer would have been wrong either way. But those words in the face of our inability to have the children we longed for was devastating. I truly, truly believe this statement was made in innocence and thoughtlessness. But because it was someone who was in spiritual authority over me, it took me a long time to feel grounded in what I was doing and is one of the reasons I have not heavily pursued writing anything to be published since.
7. Besides blogging, what types of writing have you done? (journaling, poetry, news articles, letters, short stories, etc.)
I kept journals before I was married, now I mostly do a spiritual journal. I love it because it helps me to remember what I am learning and also because I can see growth over time. I used to love letter writing. I wish I’d do more of that again. My girl cousins and I do a “Mommy Moments” circle letter. Most of them are great writers so it is anything but the hum drum mom talk you often hear. Otherwise, not so much. I’m not disciplined enough to make it happen.
8. Where would you like to be, writing-wise, in five years?
I have two book ideas brewing. Make that three. I have no idea if they will emerge into existence or go the way of most midnight inspiration. In my wildest dreams, I’d like to see one of them published in five years.
9. What would need to happen to move you from here to there?
A ton of discipline. The older the boys get, the harder it is to write. A bit of confidence. But mostly inspiration from God. When it’s time to write, I can’t stop myself.
10. Any advice for beginning bloggers/writers?
Be your own voice. Write about things that evoke emotion in you … whether that is excitement, passion for a hot topic, sadness, or loneliness. Most of all, don’t create stilted words into writing. See life. Really see life in all it’s color, detail, and emotion. Life and people are absolutely fascinating. All you have to do is describe it and you will be writing without realizing it. Advice for beginning writers? I could do an entire post on publishing versus self-publishing. And I would love to read a post by someone else on writing things besides books. I am stuck between the covers.
11. Just for fun: what’s a skill you have that almost no one knows about? (example: I know how to develop black and white film in a darkroom.)
I have no idea. Apparently I don’t have any.
Hmmm, writing is something I enjoy too, but find it hard to have time and inspiration at the same time. The comment from the ‘leader’ man…that can put a person into a tailspin for awhile. Btw, we LOVE your children’s books!
Like, like!
I felt an inner scream at the injustice that you related in No. 6. Not EVERYBODY can stay home and pop out one baby after another. How well I know. I’ve also heard remarks about, “Well, you don’t have a baby anymore, so you should be able to…fill in the blank.” Thank-you. (sarcasm) I also have three little people with precious souls and feelings that need to be taken care of.
We also have a few other people that we reach out to, and sometimes wish we could do more. But, our little family comes first. I like the thought I once read somewhere, how we can sharpen our children into arrows, who will fly further then we ourselves ever could. We are seeing too much right on our own church where parents don’t take responsibilty and others try to stand in the gap, while the young people try this and that and the other thing.
I could on about people who grew up in ‘perfect’ Mennonite homes, or did they??? Times have changed and not everyone is made from the same mold anymore. There are a select few female Mennonite writers out there, and it would be a good idea to have more. Maybe it could be a way of releasing the oppression that some women and girls are under, to write things they can relate to, and have a safe place to open up and find healing. I think that you are on to something here.
@RallyJan – Don’t scream about it. I wished that I could tell it without telling what actually happened, b/c I don’t want to put him in a bad light. I really think he was innocent and just made a thoughtless remark. But it was the single most devastating thing in my writing career to date … maybe not even so much because of what he said but because it encapsulated the vibes I’d been getting and touched on the rawness of the baby I couldn’t have. And while it wreaked havoc inside of me in a lot of ways, I think that I will be grounded more solidly on why I write … eventually.
The rest of your paragraph is interesting … I think we’ve had somewhat different experiences and I’m sorry for the difficulties you are muddling through. David and I definitely talk about the needs our boys have, but we also think that sometimes we see it as an excuse to be lazy and not reach out more to others. It’s a touchy subject and one that takes a lot of personal discernment about what God wants for your family. But we both hope that we can continue to get a lot more involved for Him. And I tend to think that women and girls are not so much oppressed as they are just not encouraged?? I don’t know. I haven’t really decided what it would take to change this. And the truth is, most people aren’t necessarily wanting change. And that’s okay, too. But there should be more than one right mold to live life well. And the arts should be a little more encouraged. It’s not just writing. It’s music. Painting. …. They tend to be viewed as something that is unnecessary and only as hobbies / interests, not something to pursue.
first of all my heart ached at a comment being what seemed so thoughtless and yet aiming so deeply into your heart. You say that it has perhaps sharpened you, and i hope that it will strengthen you to write more because you know this pain. i hope that didn’t sound thoughtless, i was trying to affirm what you had stated but i’m not sure it came out right.
and secondly there were two statements in what you wrote that struck me between the eyes and i have written them out to take them with me and ponder.
one is about sharing gifts. the other about encouraging people to share talents we see they have hidden or perhaps haven’t really seen they could shine in. those really both spoke to me. i shall write them big and put them on my wall to remember…because i’m not sure but i’m pretty sure that there are some beautiful things God has given me that i have kept stifled…I hope to find out what they are as he leads.
I for one have been blessed by your writings, especially your blog, and I hope you never stop writing. 🙂
I love your writing, I think you are so talented, and I hope you never stop writing.
And I completely get the whole “Mennonite writer” thing. And there is always that fear by some folks that a woman/wife should become more well-known than her husband, or generate a little more income from her writing than what is “proper”. I’m sorry you had to have words said to you that pierced such a difficult place in your heart. We can all learn from your story, how things we say can wound more deeply than imagined because of not knowing the whole story. I’ve been the recipient, and it hurts, but I’m sure I’ve also been the giver of words like that without realizing…
There was a time, I confess, when I envied you & Christy for your success w/ your books. I dreamed of being a writer since I was a young girl, but I feel like the dream died in the last 2 years. Even blogging doesn’t come easily for me anymore.
I used to write a lot of letters, too. Pen pals galore! It’s something that I see is becoming a lost art…the hand-written letter…yet there is something so precious about them than no well-written e-mail can ever replace.
Anyway…not sure what I’m getting at, here. ??? I guess I’m just trying to say that I appreciate your writing and I believe God has great plans ahead for developing this wonderful gift with which He has blessed you.
@RallyJan – Later, I was wondering if ‘repression’ would have been a better choice then ‘oppression.’ In the setting that a lot of my husband’s family is in, the girls are trained from young girlhood to marry, keep a home, and bear children, or be a school teacher, or work at a church person’s business. VS work options are very limited. Some of my husband’s nieces have really struggled with depression and loneliness, when it seems all around them their counterparts are living out what they were raised to be, while they themselves are still single. Some do find a niche hobby that they can pour themselves into, but who wants to paint knic-knacs or sew quilt tops year after year, while still living with their parents?
Then, I have cousins either leaving home, or wishing they could. On the outside, they lived according as they were taught. But it eventually comes out that their heart wasn’t in it. They were taught to follow a certain form, “because that’s the way we do it.”
Ralph and I have decided to teach our children we do things a certain way, because God’s Word says so, and/or it’s the right thing to do, not because it’s a church regulation. There are a few areas where we don’t have the freedom to do this, but we’re OK with that. And no, we don’t want to use our children as an excuse to not reach out. It gets easier as they get older, to just take them along on visitation activities. Those had been some teaching moments for them and us.
I agree that you have a real gift for writing and I LOVE what you wrote about how certain people really encouraged you at a young age and how much of a difference we could make in each other’s lives by doing that kind of encouraging.
I also can VERY much relate to the struggle of “keeping it fresh.” Sometimes it feels like, since I only have one brain, that after a while everything comes out sounding the same and I am just talking in circles.
This post was SO interesting to me. I got chills (not in a good way) when reading about the conversation with your pastor or whoever he was. So so wrong and thoughtless!! Wow!
I’m on blog catchup-up time. 🙂
This was so interesting! And I completely agree, you have a tremendous gift with writing and words, and drawing people into your writing. I love it. I love that I feel like I’m *right there* when I read your blog.
I don’t consider myself a writer really, but I can relate to the need to just spill words. Most of the time it’s in the privacy of my journal, but I have to write, almost daily. Talking is good too, but there is something about writing that helps me understand myself so much better. I just love when someone else “gets” that, and when I get that part of someone else too. 🙂
And here’s cheers to you for more writing!
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