Chesed

Sunday October 7, 2007

To be sung to the tune of “These Are a Few of My Favorite Things.”

Diapers and Onesies and warm fuzzy blankets

Baby Blue Eyes behind long, dark eyelashes

Dreaming of dimples and maybe some curls,

Will it be a boy or maybe a girl?

When I’m nauseous

When my legs ache

When I’m feeling blue

I’ll simply keep thinking of sweet baby things

Then oh, how my heart will sing!

 

That’s right!  We’re expecting a baby!  And yes, we are so excited … and grateful.  It has felt like a long journey of tears, hope, shattered dreams, and faith.  My heart was stretched in places I didn’t know existed.  Infertility wraps itself around your life like an octupus.  You think that having a baby is one segment of your life; but grief is not.  It is like walking in a thick fog.  You know in your head that there is beauty in the world somewhere; but your heart has forgotten what it looks like.  Sometimes you cry so hard you wonder if your insides got twisted.  One minute you say, “I will never hope again,” and two days later you are setting yourself up for more shattered dreams. 

I am convinced that hope is a gift from God.  Sometimes I thought I should stop hoping.  Recently my friend was in the middle of a difficult time and she said, “I don’t know why I do this.  Why do I start to hope again?”  And I knew.  We hope.  Because if we could not hope, we would not go on.  We wouldn’t try again.  We would not learn to live.  And we could not bear the pain.  So God gave us hope.

And now He has also given us a miracle.  On Thursday I watched the blip, blip, blip of my baby’s heartbeat.  And today, I again worship God the Creator.

26 thoughts on “Sunday October 7, 2007

  1. RallyJan

    How exciting!!! Yes, if it weren’t for hope, we couldn’t go on. Dreaming of a sweet baby to hold always helped me get through those yucky months of sickness. No, mine wasn’t just in the morning…if only it had been!! I’m SO happy for you all!! Jan

  2. justanotherbeachnut

    I’m so happy for you guys. (I know, everyone else is saying that, too, but I really am!) It would’ve been such fun to sing with you this weekend, and I will miss you, that’s for sure.

    And I’m glad for hope. Definitely a gift.

  3. psalm150girl

    CONGRATS!!! I am sooo happy for you! πŸ™‚ there have just been a couple babies born to folks at church and oh how cute they are!! i always love little babies… want me to come out & help?! πŸ™‚ love 2 all.

  4. erlinyoder

    Your news is wonderful!  I am going call Kath to make see if she’s heard.(:  I am six weeks away from my due date….Nov. 21.  I hope your pregnancy goes as fast and well as mine has.  And I love your little song.  I think I’ll copy it and hang it somewhere that I can see it alot. 

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