This Truth, My Foundation
We crawled back in the car for the second round of doxorubicin and cisplatin. This is the same, brutal chemotherapy combination he got on his first admission.
I couldn’t make myself go to bed until after 1:00 last night. My body just refused. I think it subconsciously thinks if I don’t go to bed the next day won’t come. But it always does. And now I’m exhausted to boot.
Over and over, God ministers to me through music. The repeat songs are “Famous For,” by Tauren Wells, “Peace be Still,” by Hope Darst, and the rest change as He brings a particular song for that day.
We weren’t even a mile down the road when I heard “Truth I’m Standing On,” by Leanna Crawford for the first time. I felt so seen. So heard. And without saying a word, my spirit had courage to drive on in. Right on in to the garage with so many floors. Massive concrete berms hemming us in.
To call in to central registration and answer all the covid screening questions for what feels like the 976th time. To wait in the car until they call. To walk in with Liam. To smile widely at the receptionist who always looks for us and asks Liam how he’s doing and if he had fun while he was gone. To wait in the chairs and start a Math lesson. To smile at the oncology nurse and say we’re doing great. To watch him hobble to get his height and weight, then sit to get his vital signs. To walk beside his leaping crutches to the room. To watch him get his port accessed, make happy small talk about the highs of the past week, watch them draw labs. To wait on results. To watch him nearly vomit because of the nasty taste in his mouth when they flush his port with saline, then watch and listen as they start his IV prehydration. To feel my heart leap as our oncologist walks in. She is the antithesis of what everyone seems to say about oncologists and we love her so much she’s nearly part of our family. To wait and wait and wait and wait on a room. To finish the Math lesson and do an oral Spelling test. To hear labs look great and we’ve got a room.
Sometimes you simply have to do the next thing whether or not you have courage. But it’s really nice to feel the courage.
Today God gave us gifts. For the first time since our first admission we got admitted to 7C and had Tracy for our nurse! They’ve all been lovely; but Tracy and Angie walked us through that first admission of horror and they will always be our closest bond because of it.