Thursday March 3, 2011
So if our family decided to put out a monthly comic strip, this is what it would look like. In words, since I haven’t yet figured out how to draw on xanga. Most of these are from Liam. He has finally found his funny bone. Although I’m realizing that half his funniness comes from his tone of voice and incredibly dramatic eyes. So if you’re not an aunt or a grandma, you might get bored. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Me: Did you go to a meeting with Daddy last night?
Liam: Ah (yes). Daddy back in dat duck. Dur’in day, “OUCH.” (Daddy backed into a truck and Durlin said, “ouch.”) You have to know Durlin to make this funny. That is exactly what he would have said, and Liam said it in the exact tone of voice he uses!
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After a late night, he grouchily appeared at the top of the steps.
“Mommy, darry me.”
Me: “No, you can come down by yourself.”
Liam: “No, me daid (afraid) me dall (fall) off.”
I promise we do have handrail. This child is a master of manipulation.
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Before Christmas he was carrying his Christmas gift around.
Liam: “Dis my ‘appy birfday? … Dis one Adam’s?”
So I would go through and explain, “These are daddy’s, these are yours, these are Adams ….” There were none for me because David was picking up my gift a few days after Christmas. Liam processed this a minute and then said,
” ‘ou need af ‘appy bir’day. ‘ou need doe ‘al-mart.” (You need to have a happy birthday. You need to go to Wal-mart).
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Two year olds throw fits. The good news is, they give them up easily, too.
One day when he threw one I told him he needed to be sweet because we were going to Grammie’s house. He had an instant mood change and said, “I deel ‘ittle bit ‘appy now.”
Another day I tried a new pair of pants on him. He was beyond pleased. “Dese fit me ‘ittle bit!” he kept saying. As soon as I took them off, he threw a royal fit and insisted on putting them back on. With eyes so big they nearly went vertical and a face full of indignation he said, “Dese fit me ‘ery (very) much.”
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In January, I would rumble and grumble around with nausea. I didn’t realize how much Liam picked up on things til he opened the frig door and whined, “dere’s nothing to eat….”
As things got worse I found myself praying and groaning aloud. It was all I could do to function at all and walking into a grocery store was an absolute nightmare. One day I arrived and simply laid my head on the steering wheel, groaning wordlessly, trying to muster up the strength and courage to go in. And from the back seat I hear this little voice, “Dedu need ‘elp ‘ou?” (Jesus need help you?) I snickered a little, remembering how often I would groan (I thought under my breath), “Jesus, PLEASE help me.”
Me: Yes, Liam
Liam: “Ou day, Please, Dedu ‘elp me.”
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Liam is an over the top all around daddy’s kid. Seriously, I thought Adam was bad. Liam makes Adam’s daddy idolatry pale. One Sunday morning we were running late for church and David was getting ready to run for the shower and I was going to get Liam dressed. Liam got wind of this and could not believe we were stooping this low. I explained that Daddy didn’t have time. No good.
Liam: “Daddy dan dower den ‘e dan dange me. ‘Ow ‘ill dat ‘ork?” (Daddy can shower, then he can change me. How will that work?)
David jumped in to help me out. “No, Liam, daddy doesn’t have time.”
Liam — in absolute disgust: “Daddy is a MESS.”
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His lack of consonants makes everything he says that much more endearing. Like when he says, “Oopsy Naisy” instead of oopsy daisy. Or his expression when he says, “OH. MY. DOO NESS.”
But the bossiness takes the cake. We’ve been working on him with table manners. He had this bad habit of using his left hand to shove food into his mouth if his spoon didn’t quite get it. David was teaching him to keep his left hand in his lap so he wouldn’t be tempted to start shoving it into his mouth. One night he got his bossy lips look and let Adam have it.
Liam: A’am. ‘ou dould put ‘ou o’er ‘and in ‘ou ‘ap. Dee my ‘and? (waves left hand for Adam to see then places it back in his lap.) Dee ‘ow I do it? Dye it. Dat is NOT dood manners.
(Adam, you should put your hand in your lap. See my hand? See how I do it? Try it. That is not good manners.)
Or the time David told Adam to go feed the chickens and Liam immediately turns to Adam and says, ” ‘ou do ‘at daddy dold ‘ou. Doe deed du dickens. ‘urry up. Doe dickly.”
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And then there was the night I made red wine steak and mashed potatoes. This didn’t go over too well. He does not like potatoes. But he doesn’t react to them, so we make him eat them anyway. In all seriousness he looked at us and said, “Me dan’t eat my mashed toes betuz me have diaweah.”
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One day we followed a school bus and at every stop I pointed out how the lights flash yellow and we slow down then they flash red and we stop and then we can watch the children get off. (Nothing like education on the run, you know.) The next day we were following a bus that was not dropping anyone off. Liam watched for awhile and finally he said, “Dat bus need new batties.” (batteries)
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I miss Adam’s quips. He is at school so much of the time, it feels as though I hardly hear him talk. The other morning he was looking out the window before school.
Adam: “Mommy, this winter is just not very successful. There just are no big snows.”
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But the funniest story of all was not Adam or Liam and it was wordless. It was one of those nights during the three week darkness as I’ve come to call it. I was often awake with cramping for several hours at a time. David would wake up intermittently, ask if I’m okay or he could do anything, and then go back to sleep. I sat there, hunched over in the darkness about 3:30 in the morning. He woke again, rubbed my back for awhile, then rolled over to go to sleep. Just as he rolled over, the rooster in the back yard crowed. David leaned over, smacked the snooze button on his alarm clock, and sank back into dreamland.
I was in too much pain to laugh at the time, but the next afternoon when I told him, we both went into gales of laughter. You’ve just got to love subconscious actions.
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What’s funny at your house?
The one I love is Liam’s crack about the bus needing batteries, probably because it reminds me so much of Ariana (and how cute the 2 of them were together that one time!). She is forever coming to me with a toy, a screwdriver, and assorted batteries and saying, “Ba’rees go-wing. ‘Ere!” WHETHER OR NOT the toy actually REQUIRES batteries.
And the last story about David made me laugh out loud! It sounds JUST like something Titus would do!
Those were really cute. Even though I am not an aunt or a grandma, I still enjoyed reading your funnies.
I could tell you many subconcious sleeping stories about my husband. He is a sleep walker and talker. I’d be in big trouble for sharing though!Lol.
i just love your boys! their witty cuteness…oh my. just call me aunt cindy! i read all of this and smiled at every bit!
what is funny around here? hmmm. mostly jacob now because he’s my only little one anymore.
but just today i was telling ben how when he was a toddler he’d often announce, “wook! the pretty
sunset’s up!” 🙂 i have tons of funny stories. but i can’t think of any right now. oh wait. here’s one…
jacob took swimming lessons last summer and experienced his first crush. my 5 year old son liked his 12 year old swimming instructor, leanne. he told me her earrings were pretty. and how she said, “come to me…” oh it was something.
months later he’s talking about when he is all grown up he won’t live here anymore. i pretend horror and distress.
surely you’ll call?
nope.
visit?
{now he’s chuckling} nope. and so on. {he’s loving the little game}
“crestfallen” i ask him if he’ll be calling leanne.
no. he says. she’ll be with me.
what? she’ll be with you? are ya gonna marry her?
his eyes widen. he puts a finger at his lips and says, yeah. that’s the part that i’m nervous about!
These were my bedtime stories. There’s a boy in church, reminds me of a five year old Liam. Huge, dark, liquid eyes. I even took a picture so I could show you, but the picture didn’t do him justice. 🙂
Ca-yute! I love it! My fave was when he told Adam to go ‘deed du dickens’! gotta love ’em!
the one about you needing a ‘happy birthday from walmart’ made me giggle. but the one about your hubby hearing the rooster and hitting his alarm clock had me burst out in laughter. that is wonderful. it is always those little moments where random things happen that tend to send me into giggles. there was one class i was in last semester and i was exhausted (thus i laughed alot more easily) and the teacher said something and my friend whisphered something in my ear, and i had to cover my mouth…then i ran out of the classroom with my mouth covered (the teacher thought i was going to be sick) but i was trying to keep from bursting out laughing (cause it was rude). I barely made it to the hall way and pretty much bent in half i was laughing so hard. I couldnt’ tell you what it was…but boy did it feel good 😉 i had tears streaming down my face cause i was laughing so hard.
i hope you find those moments to laugh…and to collect these moments. they are beautiful.
Oh that was so cute! You must keep posting the things they say. I just love that phase they go through when they can’t quite pronounce everything correctly. It passes all to quickly. I can’t even pick my favorite, all your stories were too cute. : )
@down_onthefarm –
Cindy! He is making me laugh so hard!! So he’s nervous about that part, huh? Oh, my goodness, if I weren’t already so in love, I think I’d fall in love with him! Leanne better guard her heart if she’s planning on making it past a few more years. 🙂
@mytoesareblue –
Totally know what you mean about laughter being one of the best releases ever! We laugh a lot at our house!
I loved it! I know all about the bossiness, Jackie has it bad right now. Unfortunately she probably puts Liam to shame. 🙁 It’s exhausting. The story about David Lee and the alarm clock is so funny. Darrel will still do funny stuff at night. 🙂
I love how you take the time to write these little stories down too! Your kids will LOVE to read them later in life. As will you, I imagine. Your kids are too funny! Although, I have to say, I also miss Adam’s comments.
Funny around here? I will tell you what was NOT funny, just this morning. Nikki taking all of my head bands out of my draw, putting them somewhere, and when I needed one this morning, having no idea where they were. And when I asked her what she did with them, she made up this big story about it, 1/2 of which I am pretty sure was imagination!
@appalolly –
okay, that is so GIRL! 🙂 Funny, funny! Just not at your house. 🙂
@babydazed –
snicker! I almost forgot about Darrel’s funny nighttime escapades!
This was a good reminder for me to slow down and listen to my boys more!! I had to laugh last night as I got to here Gabriel laugh for the first time!
One of my “funnies” was something my hubby did. Our oldest did NOT know the meaning of sleeping at night and would fuss and cry off and on all night for the first 3-4 months. Carl and I would take shifts walking the floor with him. One night after Carl took the first shift and fell exhausted in bed.. I walked with Brett for an hour an hour or so and actually got him to sleep, laid him down and collapsed in bed myself. 1/2 hour later I come out of the fog enough to realize that Brett is crying again and I hear a strange noise coming from beside me. I look over to see Carl laying on his back, patting his chest and saying , “Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh..” I just died laughing! He didn’t believe me the next morning when I told him. 😀
Thanks for the laughs! I have a 2 year old and I cannot believe the things that come out of her mouth at times!!
Oh I can hardly wait for the funnies from Emma. I loved this post, definitely was far from being boring! We have done some of the funniest stuff in our sleep…
Lol. I love your stories! This morning Makayla (almost 2) woke up and drank her big sippy cup of chocolate milk then crawled out of bed and started coughing like crazy. I ran her to the bathroom because I was nearly certain she would throw up, and yes, she did. She stared into the toilet in dismay then began to wail, “my chocolate milk!”. And shame on this mommy, she burst out lauging:)
@ihavesix –
Ok, hands down, that story wins for funniest!
@ihavesix –
WHY have I never heard that story??! I love it!!! Wait till I tell Titus that one! 🙂
your boys had me grinning the whole time! my world is pretty funny but right now i’m drawing a huge blank…
if you see hundreds of footprints of mine, it’s just me trying to find that post about couponing from a looong time ago.
if you have any crucial tips feel free to tell me!
@ihavesix – That story is hiliarious!! 🙂
Michelle, I loved all your stories! I write my girls’ stuff in journals I have for each of them, so I enjoy hearing about other people’s kids. God knew we needed a lot of humor in the midst of the busy (and sometimes stressful) days of parenting! 🙂