Thursday November 3, 2011
If someone were to ask you what the hot topic of 2011 is, how would you answer? There are probably several. But the one I keep noticing over and over is themed around grace. Everyone is talking about grace these days. Soapboxes start up and take off.
I need more grace. As in, I need to learn to extend more grace. (Kind of need it extended more, too.
). But something keeps niggling for me. Especially as I watched several discussions on grace disintegrate into differing layers of “don’t judge anything.” It’s almost as though people have a hang up with it. One person starts soapboxing on the don’t judge others subject. Someone else comes along and says, “Hey, you know we need to be careful that we aren’t judging the people who are judging.” And the next person comes along and starts saying, “Hey, don’t judge her. She wasn’t judging those people. She was just making a point.”
It’s almost funny. Except that it’s not. All of those points are true and things to think about, but sometimes it feels as though instead of all extending grace, we’re all just getting our you know what in a wad. We’re talking the talk, but not walking the walk. Why is that? Trust me, I’m a really big fan of not being judged. Especially falsely. Judgement hurts. Actually, it can kill. I love that the current hot topic is one that teaches us to look with bigger eyes, a God-perspective, and less narrow horizons. But why is it not always working?
Is it because we sometimes misrepresent grace with poorly disguised relativism?
There’s a pretty big difference between grace and relativism.
Relativism ignores truth. Pretends all is good. It does not bother to find out what truth is but withdraws in an “I’m ok; you’re ok” mentality. Relativism doesn’t have to get involved; it keeps it’s fingers from getting messy. Relativism removes me from the risk of accountability.
Grace sees truth and loves anyway. It loves the unlovely. It believes in. Hopes for. Grace finds the elements of good in someone to speak well of. Not because it doesn’t see the bad, but because grace is mercy in action. Grace looks into the face of evil and sees the potential for redemption. Grace reaches out a hand — even if it means getting dirty.
Relativism is passive
Grace is active.
Relativism is amoral.
Grace is truth shrouded in mercy and love.
Relativism walks away.
Grace embraces.
Grace is a gift that can only be given to others when we’ve learned to accept it ourselves.
this is so good. i amen-ed the whole way though. i guess i have noticed the same trends. you tackled it wisely, i believe, and with TRUTH.
Love this.. and love the distinguishing differences you make between relativism and grace! 🙂
YES!!!! I have been thinking about this the last few days as well. Wondering if by asking people to not judge we are actually trying to get away from accountability. Relativism…that’s the word I was looking for.
Interesting. I’ve been thinking about this, too, but wasn’t even sure how to put it into words. The danger I see is that we are so busy speaking grace into the lives of those around us, that we neglect to speak the truth.
Well said, Michelle. I really appreciate your balanced perspective! There are always people who take ideas/words and run places with them to meet their own needs/desires. I concur that this has happened with the “grace movement”.
amen!!! sistermichelle. 🙂 grace has become the code word for “live and let live.” there’s no longer any absolutes, it’s all relative as you said.
and i love your description of relativism and how true~ as christians, we no longer want to get involved and be engaged. it’s easier to hang on the outskirts and spew spiritual sounding things that SEEM as if we’re practicing grace, but in reality, it’s just a cop-out for our own selfishness – – our version of extending grace isn’t really, truly ABOUT the other person, it’s all about US, and trying to protect ourselves from being judged and being able to live as we want w/out accountability and getting our hands messy, yes.
sometimes i think christians are the biggest screw ups around. which, then i guess is a good thing God came for just such people!! 😉
wonderful post, my friend. such truth put concisely and humbly.
now. to go LIVE what i’ve just amened!!! gulp. :/
I have grappled with this same subject, because as I have learned more about grace and love and not judging, I have tried to figure out how to balance it all. And here is part of what I think: I am not God. God is the judge. I am responsible for my own soul and my decisions, which of course affect those around me. Why do I NEED to figure out whether someone else is doing something right or wrong? Is that not between them and God? Not in a “anything goes” kind of way, but in a way of trusting GOD to let them know through His word and His Holy Spirit what they should be doing or how they should be applying truth in THEIR lives. I think too many times we are finding our worth from being “right” and having things figured out and being “better” than the other person. Sometimes I think judging comes so naturally to us and has been our habit for so long that we really don’t know how NOT to judge. But yes, truth stands and truth is not to be messed with or done away with. But do you think that everyone who ends up in heaven will have believed exactly the same way about everything? Those are some of my thoughts. Thanks for the post! I liked how you described and defined grace.
Many many times……I walk away. “Why bother expressing what will be misunderstood and disagreed with, even kindly”?, I ask myself (this is often how I feel with religious folk, even more then “the world”). I have become passive. Some dear friends have made me aware of it, you have helped. Thank you!
Eric and I just talked about this very thing the other night… so many people just want love love love, no judgement. Like your thoughts on this!
Love how you put it! I think so many times we want to just live happily ever after and never want to get our hands dirty, have any conflicts, or know the feelings of others deep inside. We’re scared of conflict and just want grace everywhere. We don’t want to be told “no” and that someone doesn’t agree with us…I guess that could be part of pride? Part of the Christian life and this life down here involves trials and conflict. In this world, as Jesus said, you will have tribulation.
loved this michelle and i agree with you.
grace is my only virtue. But I will say this: I think the hot topic of 2011 was probably something like the Kardashian marriage!
Good, good words. I know where I err. After being blown away with learning about grace, it is SO easy to slip into relativism and passivity. You put this beautifully. Thanks.
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michelle! where do i start? 🙂
it ties in with so many things for me. thoughts in my little brain. the Bible study i’m in right now. and dang. messy circumstances and relationships. humans *me.me.me.* find all these great words to gloss what we want to do and how we want to do it. our own definitions for our own self focused agenda. so much so that sometimes what i want and need is what i drop and run from, it is so twisted up. we are to judge ~ ourselves. and all things. 1 cor 2:15,16 all things. ha. not people. and having “the mind of Christ.” and am i writing this knowing and living what it all means? 🙂 course not. but i do want to learn “how to activate His mind in my thought processes regarding the reality of my experiences.” spiritual discernment. that’s what.
somehow that felt related till i wrote it all out. 🙂
love this and you.
Yes, to extend grace but not to smear sin over with pretties…..each of us must judge our own hearts…..thank you for this well stated, well worded post. The simple girl that I am loves to read ‘this’ but could never write ‘this’. (or is it “Mommy Brain” that makes clear thinking difficult?;) )
I appreciate this post ~ a LOT.
It is special that you put words to what many are feeling. The wave going through the church now is to put emphasis on spirit rather than words- the emergent/emerging movement where folks disregard truth and have mercy. We feel sad to see folks especially Anabaptist folks throwing out the truth for love. There needs to be a balance between mercy(grace) and truth( Bible). God bless you on your journey!
I struggle with this. Str-u-ggle to know how to balance the two- truth and love. Mostly b/c, I’ll be honest, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen it lived- in balance. Have you?? Maybe I just didn’t recognize it, or term it as such. But I honestly don’t know how to be conservative (where truth is the focus) and still living a life full of grace (where love is focus.) It’s no coincidence to me that of all the churches I’ve been to in Mennonite-dom, I have not encountered one that has both attributes. So, yes, I agree with you, Michelle. But I would like to challenge you, to challenge anyone for that matter, to throw out some real life examples where this has been true for you, I appreciate the philosophical side of your reasoning, now tell me where you’ve seen this worked out. B/c, as it is right now, it seems to be a great idea that I’m not sure we know what to do with.
@cuz_He_lives – I will agree with you that I have rarely seen this fleshed out in the Mennonite communities I’ve been in. And it is very, very frustrating to me to see so much judgement and such narrow perspectives on what is “truth.” I don’t like to see condemnation and or mean words / actions toward a person who they feel doesn’t measure up for whatever reason. Jesus did not ignore truth (the prostitute woman), but unlike the Pharisees who only judged her actions, He loved her. He also told her not to sin anymore. Maybe the reason people are running away from truth and toward only grace is b/c we have turned truth into harsh judgement and condemnation. But now we’re also falling into the other ditch of relativism instead of grace. And yes, I think it is more than a philosophy. I HAVE seen it fleshed out. And I’d happily give you examples of real life people, but you wouldn’t know who I am referring to. B/c I think it’s as we really get to know people well and watch their lives that we get to see the real balance worked out. If you come to Virginia, I’ll introduce you to a few. 🙂