Tuesday April 21, 2009
Happy Birthday to us … late is much better than never! The boys were finally close enough to recovery to make so we could celebrate my birthday and Adam’s. My mom, being a true mom and grandma, celebrated us both. The main course was for me with gorgeous pink floral napkins and bleeding hearts and my choice for the menu.
Chicken fajita spuds, spinach strawberry salad, crescent rolls (baked fresh, thanks to Beth the amazing bread maker), and corn. At dessert time she switched gears, pulled out red, boyish dessert plates and surprised Adam with a fire truck cake.
When I was growing up I was sure my mom could make anything. We couldn’t afford roller skates for me when they became the rage at school and I was convinced she could glue wheels to a plywood platform and attach it to a shoe so I could skate. She didn’t manage that one; but Adam did get an “oxygen tank” thanks to her ingenuity.
The hunting obsession has finally, finally, finally (thank you, God) given way to another.
He is now a firefighter. And a very brave one. He wants to know all about them. What they do. What else they do. What else they do. At one point I saw him “restraining some imaginary person” so I asked if they were trying to get back into the house that was burning. “No, they’re trying to save the person who is drowning.” I said I hope he can swim well if he’s saving people from drowing. “Oh,” he said, “I don’t need to. See the person just swims over to me, puts their arms up, then I pull them out with my hook.” Oh.
Birthdays with family feels comforting, somehow. Your son is so cute, the obsessions can be kinda sweet. lol My oldest has a interest in “many” things, but I am thinking the second one might go from one to the other….gotta love those different characters. Glad you had a healthy birthday celibration!
Adam completely cracks me up! 🙂 Hope you had a good birthday too! 🙂
Adam is too cute! Love the firetruck cake, Grandmas are amazing:) Happy birthday to you both.
My boys would love a cake like that and the oxygen tank cracks me up. super duper idea grandma. Glad you guys are feeling better.
My Wade went through a fire fighter stage, too—fed by 3 uncles who are firemen and another who is an EMT. Then he realized how dangerous firefighting can be, and switched dream occupations. But we had the whole fireman b-day party, too—and come to think of it, I think that was for his 5th.
The cake is great!! And I love the oxygen tank idea! But it’s your menu that makes me drool.
Unfortunately Alex has maintained the hunting craze, the firefighter craze and the army craze (the police craze ended when he found out that in training they have to tase each other, “that would hurt too much” he said) all at the same time. I struggle to understand the whole male aggression thing…
Love the cake, we did one like that for Alex’s 5th birthday.
Happy belated birthday to you!
So the hunting craze ends?? Mine are 12 and 13 and it can be worse than ever… 🙂 The belated birthday sounds wonderful. And what a cute cake!!
Looks like you all had a fun party! nice cake!
When is your birthday? Just curious. Mine was the 6th and since you were celebrating late, I was just wondering. . .I’m always looking for someone with the same birthday. 🙂
What else goes in a spinach strawberry salad? Sounds yummy!
@cherylyoder –
Mine is March 22, Adam’s April 16th. Happy birthday to you!
Strawberry spinach salad really is yummy! Baby spinach, sliced strawberries, toasted pecans and a homemade dressing: 2T sesame seeds, 1/4 t. worcestershire sauce, 1/4 t. paprika, 1/2 c. sugar, 1/2 t. minced onion, 1/2 c. oil, 1/4 c. vinegar — enjoy!
@livingwater4me –
I’m curious about something and I hope you won’t take offense by my asking. I have always discouraged Adam from playing things like army, police, etc since in real life they (sometimes) compromise what I feel to be Biblical non-resistance in their assigned jobs. A few months ago he voluntarily came and told me that he thinks he should throw his airplane in the trash. I was less than impressed til he said that it’s a war plane. I looked and sure enough, it was. I neglected to look at it when purchasing. At that point I had not distinguished b/w playing vs real but had simply been explaining to him about our belief of loving your neighbor and why we would not be part of the army. Still, I was happy to see him taking it so seriously. Not long after that we were at a friends house. When he came home he said, “Mommy, they had a lot of war stuff and soldiers but I didn’t play with them.” Am I being too strict?
@smilesbymiles –
I don’t think I can answer the question about whether you are too strict or not – and I only have lots of questions about the other stuff. I only wish my son’s conscience was that well developed! A’s favorite stories are David and Goliath, Samson, etc. How do you explain to your son that those men were told by God to kill and it was celebrated?! We wrestle with that. Yes, we talk about the difference between the OT and the NT and at some levels he understands that. When he does his army stuff, he always says he is fighting Satan’s army…is he really? I don’t always know. For a long time we took his guns away, and I didn’t let him do any of that stuff till Jason said it felt to him like I was emasculating him. Our least desire is to make him passive (there are enough passive men around ;))and Jason feels like the non-resistance thing is something he wants Alex to realize as he comes to know Jesus, not so much that it’s just “what we do”. (I’ll just add here that that feels very risky to me.)
The police thing? That has been tough too. He has great respect for Police Officers which I’m grateful for, but I don’t know what to do with all his desires to hurt the bad guys. Occasionally recently, he has been saying…”if I’d see someone [hurting someone else] I’d come and get you and you could tell them about Jesus” which feels like huge progress.
It’s pretty much like I told someone else the other day – I don’t feel like I have a clue sometimes what I’m doing raising children, especially this aggressive, passionate, articulate child that I have. I don’t think I’m much help, but it’s what keeps us crying out daily for wisdom, eh? Blessings.
I love that cute little cake of the fire truck …. I admire you taking the time to do somthinglike for your boy. Keep up the good training of Biblical things it sounds as though you are doing a great job. I don’t think we can teach to much good when our children are young…. It may just “keep” them when they are teens and don’t think quite as much of Mom and Dad being their “best” pals so much
@livingwater4me –
It sounds like you’re doing a good job. I don’t feel there is one right way just as there is not one style of child. I think that living out what we feel is right (you supporting Jason in not emasculating Alex; us talking to Adam about non-resistance now) is much more important in the long run of passing on Biblical values than following some formula. If I feel prompted in our conversation and ignore it, I may be losing the opportunity I have with Adam. If you do it and it’s not the time, well, you know how much we like being spoon fed some stuff to us as adults we don’t agree with and you wonder if they actually have such wonderful “convictions” or if they are in all honesty preferences. Oops, now I’m getting sarcastic and going off on another tangent. At any rate, happy mothering to you! And may our children grow up to love and serve Jesus in ways deeper than we were capable of.
My recently-turned-5 son was standing here, totally impressed with the fire truck cake. And promply runs off to get a hard hat and play with his ride-around truck!
So far, I’ve been reluctant to allow my son to have toy guns. He does get to play with some when he goes to his cousin’s house. He also pretends to shoot things using other methods. I don’t mind him hunting animals and feel the guns will come along soon enough. We’ve also been trying to teach him that shooting ppl is wrong. Children can be a challenge!
@smilesbymiles –
Okay, I don’t meant to just keep this going, but it’s subject that we have been mulling over/discussing for over a year. 🙂 When I said that Jason wants A. to learn non-resistance as he comes to know Jesus, I didn’t mean we are not talking to him about it. I think what Jason resists is forcing him to adopt something that is not coming from his heart – just a learned behavior that kills Alex’s desire to fight for what is right. I feel like I talk about it till A. and I are both ready to puke sometimes. 🙂
And I hear you on the spoon fed thing, sometimes I have to be careful that I don’t become reactionary, because that is something that just totally goes against my grain.
Blessings to you.
@livingwater4me –
Yikes, you and I need some face to face and a latte. =) I can’t stop yet. Where is the line b/w forcing to adopt a “learned behavior” and teaching “when thou liest down and risest up and walkest in the way” so that it is easier for them to choose the right thing when they grow up? This reminds me of the Mennonite versus River Brethren way of raising children when it comes to dress. KWIM?
@smilesbymiles –
This is too funny b/c I was just thinking of a bunch of things I’d like to talk to you about…:)
What is KWIM?
I’m not sure what the line is between those two things, but I do know that among our people there is a problem of “not being lost well” which translates into being saved “weakly”. Know what I mean? (Oh, I bet that is what KWIM means???) 🙂 By that I meant that we have people who never felt lost and so therefore do not appreciate their salvation. But I DON’T so much know how far to take that and that is why I said this non-resistance thing feels risky to me. But then again, I think as a plain people we have become non-resistant even spiritually where we SHOULD be resistant.
Please, can we meet? I have a bunch of questions rolling around about raising girls too and we can really talk big about that b/c we have none. 🙂 Alex has strong reactions to girls/women and it’s really made me observant and I’m realizing that being “feminine” can be utterly selfish or it can be beautiful and when do we start teaching girls that? I think it’s terribly overlooked…
Do you know any RB personally? I don’t know many but I wonder what the ratio is to the ones who choose never to become plain to our ratio of weak and unstable, dependent on church standards Christians? Okay, this is becoming something that should be an email conversation probably. 🙂 don’t think I have yours – mine is carolynmiller11@gmail.com. But I am leaving for the weekend, so this might have to end for now.
Today I was cleaning and for some reason this conversation came back to me. My brain works oddly sometimes. I began to wonder if I came across rather…harshly…in the last comment? What I meant by the weak,dependent Christians are ones who are “non-resistant” – but then who will abuse others verbally, physically, sexually. Or would never think of smoking, but over-eat without a qualm – or wouldn’t do drugs, but live in an escape fantasy world. Christians who have never learned to discern between right and wrong outside of what is spelled out for them. I am not against standards, but quake sometimes at the level of dependence I see on them. And this is what we long to build in our son, an ability to make decisions based on a walk in step with the Spirit. We have no guarantee that he will choose this way of living and that can keep me up nights praying…