Tuesday January 31, 2012
It’s been a crazy afternoon. The last few days when Adam gets home from school, all bad behavior breaks loose. There is a rebuttal for everything I ask. There is wild, hurtling of bodies and touching of many things that should be left alone. There is fighting and rough play that ends up hurting and just too much too much too much. By eight o’clock tonight I. had. had. it. They were going to bed at regular time whether or not they got to see daddy who was coming home late.
A goodnight prayer and bedtime hugs and kisses and I felt like I could be a mom again. I heard sweet whispers upstairs. At least they weren’t arguing so I let it pass. Then I heard little footsteps in the hallway. “Mommy, it ooks ike dere’s a tocodile in my bed, but dere’s not.”
Liam has suddenly developed fear issues. It started with a bang one night when he woke up screaming, sweating, and completely panicked because there was a black face in his room. It took hours, literally, to calm him completely. By then he had Adam freaked, so I slept with Adam and David took Liam to bed with him. The next day he had a full-blown panic attack coming up the steps in full daylight. I held him for awhile, read stories, and then for the rest of the day kept him right beside me without making a big deal of it. I thought it would be better to keep him with me til he wants to venture out then to separate us and have him screaming again. So everywhere I went I said, “Come, Liam, let’s go change the washer and dryer.”
For the most part, it ended. Except at night. I talked to him the next day and told him what dreams are … that sometimes they are of scary things and we call them nightmares and sometimes they are good things, like maybe that we are in a boat fishing. And it feels and looks exactly the same as if it was really happening, but it’s not. It’s only happening in our minds. He smiled and seemed to understand. So now he sometimes tells me he saw an elephant on our front porch. And sometimes at night he says he is afraid of animals or that he sees them.
Tonight my oh-so-weary-of-constant-rudeness-checks heart completely melted.
“Do you want Mommy to come upstairs?” I asked in response to the crocodile statement.
He said yes and hiked his brave little self back to bed even before I got there. I flipped the hallway switch to give him a little more light and flopped onto his bed. “Liam, shall I pray and ask Jesus to help you not see the crocodiles?”
Liam: “Oh, yes. I p’ayed al’eady by myself, but it’s so dark the tocodile is still dere on du bed, but it’s not.”
Me: “Would you like if I would pray, too?”
And so I prayed. That Jesus would help his mind to rest. And that He would send angels of peace. No sooner was my amen out before Liam started his own little prayer. And like always, he thanked Jesus for everything instead of asking. “Fank ou dat du tocodile isn’t dere. Fank ou for sending angels. Fank ou dat I tould not be dared anymore. Amen.”
I don’t know why in the world I thought I was tired of being mommy today. I could do this forever. At least until tomorrow afternoon when the after-school fiasco begins again.
Hmm, fears. Not fun to deal with. Especially at night when things seem worse.
My 3 yr old little guy also is thankful for everything in his prayers. Makes it interesting when he is thanking God for things you know he is NOT thankful for.
awwwww… heart melting, that little Prayer. Abbi has had several bad dreams too. It’s so hard to know how exactly to deal with them because she can’t really understand that they are separate from reality. I think she’s starting to understand that they are not real…one she’s had, that she still talks about is a frog eating my hair. anyway, she does sometimes add, when talking about it, that Jesus makes the frog go away. Such innocence. Makes you want to do everything you can to protect them.
Tears in my eyes.
These boys.
How is it that they stomp all over our hearts…
and then melt them with just a few words?
My boys BOTH did that to me tonight.
*sigh*
Gotta love ’em!
PS. Please don’t feel alone with the whole bad-behavior-breaks-loose-as-soon-as-school-is-over thing.
I know ALL about it!!!
Aww! What a precious little boy! Aren’t 3 year olds just the ticket?
@itsayoderworld – Stomping and melting … you couldn’t have put it better. And what is up with the after school behavior? Any solutions?
The after-school behavior is perplexing! I feel like I’m constantly trying to quiet down the chaos.
Then yesterday, the weather was so lovely and they burned energy and yelled and ran OUTSIDE! OH, how
much more calm the rest of the evening.
Poor boy and his dreams/imagination. Praying with him and reminding him of
God’s angels is probably the best thing you can do. I remember having horrible dreams
as a child (mostly about war) and hearing airplanes overhead scared the breath out of me.
I was sure we were going to be bombed………
I feel sorry for Liam about the nightmares, I remember horrible nightmares. I was pretty old (maybe 12 or so), and I kept having awful ones, I remember praying about it and I can say that I very seldom dream till this day. When I do dream it usually either something good or just not really scary. It was nearly like a switch turning them off.
I understand all of the after school behavior( minus the fighting), only mine is not after school. Those moments are so hard. I have a hard time separating whether it is my impatience and busyness that is causing it, the weird weather changes we’ve been having, or just another faze he is going through. Whatever it may be, I’ve been trying to break the cycle with a change of pace. Today I cleaned a cupboard out, and told him it can be his house today. We will see if it works.
Oh My Word. I could have had the same day yesterday. Seriously, would like to know why they come home from school and feel the need to do whatever it is to cause chaos! I have often wondered if my son thinks that he may have missed out on something wonderful or even some extra attention and feels the need to make up for it?? I honestly do not know.
And wow, the sweet little prayer. : ) God knew what you needed. Talk about child-like faith! He was thanking God that He already did it. That’s just amazing.
My 2 year old has bad dreams just about every night as well. It’s a little harder to explain to a 2 year old. : ( But mostly his dreams are about his older siblings taking his toys. Which we are working on not happening in the day time so he’s not so traumatized by it at night. LOL
My 3 yr. old seemed to have her first really bad dream last week and has been worried about bed time since. 🙁 I’m having both girls sleep in the same bed for now and that seems to help. We also have in our bedtime prayers that God would send His angels around our house to chase away the bed dreams. It’s a problem we’ve really struggled with over the last few years, with all three of our children. The youngest just started, and the oldest one seems to be nearly over it now.
After school??? Send them outside if possible! Yesterday, I just had it and told my little girls to just fight and beat each other up. They were so surprised that they stopped fighting. :)And, they are together all day since neither goes to school yet. They are happy to see their brother come home, but the bickering starts within minutes. Sometimes, I choose to ignore it, other times we just deal with each situation as it comes up. Giving them housework jobs helps, too.
I too remember having horrible dreams and nightmares. They’re just not any fun. Hope your little guy gets over them soon.
You are a good Mom. Your boys are Blessed to have you. =)
Happy Wednesday to you.
This same thing happens at our house. We go through phases where there’s this hyper-after school thing where people are running around crazy wrestling and just over-excited. It’s like they’ve gone wild. I blame it on the moon. lol
It stinks to be scared at night, or at anytime. I’m glad he’s got you to help him through it!~
Liam’s hand never fails to reach out through the screen and tug at my heart. That sounds like a nightmare, but it’s not.
@smilesbymiles –
Solutions?
I wish I’d have fail-safe ones, but I do not.
For our oldest–the one who usually displays the attitudes most aggressively, being alone sometimes helps. When it’s nice enough outside, he will often spend an hour or more out in the woods after he gets home from school, and that usually makes a big difference. But not always.
The worst thing is, we have a 21-mile drive home from school, and he doesn’t wait till we get HOME to display his unhappiness w/ the world—it starts as soon as he steps foot in the van, and escalates as the miles tick by. Till we get home, I’m ready to take him BACK!
One thing IS for sure: the more annoyed my response to him is, the more quickly his attitude worsens. If I can keep calm when he’s dramatic; if I have a soft answer when he’s angry; if I love him when he’s unlovable; things go much better.
I have a “grace prayer” from Ann Voskamp posted on my kitchen cupboard: “Just for today, I will ask for His grace, the moment when I am most repelled by a child’s behavior, that is my sign to DRAW CLOSEST to that child.”
It works, Michelle. It really does. But usually I have to pray hard first!!
What I’ve found out is that typically his bad behavior signals that he really needs to talk. Which means that I have to make time to sit down, to shut up, and to listen.
I can so relate to that “I have had it” kind of feeling. and that prayer of Liam’s is so adorable by yet more than that it reminds me of how we should pray. I can’t help but think of what Ann Voskamp says in 1000 gifts about Thanksgiving always preceding the miracle. I have seen it in my own life. I hope his nightmare problems get better real soon.
AW… so precious.
i feel like lately my girls have ‘after school behaviour’ all day! 🙁 it will help when they get home, i’m sure.
Awwww, his little prayer is just PRECIOUS! Little children… goodness, how they mess with our hearts!
Kinda like the day I was so frustrated with uncalled-for behaviour and felt short-tempered on my end, and then Zoe’ hands me a picture she drew, “because you’re such a good mommy.” And I cried, because that day I was most definitely not the mommy I wanted to be…
I love how you write down so many of your boys’ little says and things. I need to do better with that, even if it’s just in my girls’ own books.
I love love love little prayers! Just something about hearing the innocence in them and the pure belief that it WILL happen!
After school behavior… girls have it too!! Believe you me! Sigh!
@itsayoderworld – I like the comment about Ann’s Grace prayer. I’ll have to write that one down!
I know all about the “after-school dilemma”. We only live 4.5 miles from school and there are days that I’m frustrated b the time we get home. Recently I told the boys that whoever is involved in a spat or argument will miss their after-school snack. It has made a difference! It’s an easy thing for me to remember and I don’t have to figure out who deserves what. =) AND it makes them think before picking in each other.
bless his heart. praying he’s not “dared anymore…”
you’re such a sweet mama, michelle.
pretty too. 😉