Wednesday December 12, 2007
Emily and I discovered we were both going to be in town today and it didn’t take long for us to decide it would be fun to have lunch together. We met at the mall and tried to shop; but we were both absolutely starving. Shopping and starving do not have any sort of a symbiotic relationship.
I love Greek food and have ranted and raved long enough about one of my favorite little places downtown. Back in my CCU, order out lunch a lot days, I often chose Cafe Europa. And always, I got soup. Sometimes a sandwich too, but always soup. Not just any kind of soup either. Tomato basil soup.
Within two minutes of arriving I knew I was back in the university area. Bricked sidewalks, ancient and beautiful architecture, street lamps, and students everywhere. In trying to go up the steps, I met a 20ish something guy walking out. He was wearing a t shirt, pajama bottoms, and flip flops. Anywhere else his clothes could have identified him as something much different then a probably pampered school kid. “Excuse me.” I said, trying to squeeze Adam and I past him on the steps. I’m still not sure what I was expecting in response. I just know it sounded utterly incongrous to hear a rich, well-modulated, “pardon me.”
The tomato basil soup is still perfect. Eating it brought mental flashbacks of sitting with Shelly on the old green sofa in a microscopic lounge trying hard to restrain ourselves from simply slurping it down in gigantic gulps and hoping no one would code and interrupt our bliss. I want to go again. More soup, please. Another Bareclona. And somehow I need to find room for the yummy looking greek salad, too. Maybe I’ll just take a cooler along next time.
Adam was a delightful shopper today. He was just so good and it made me grateful for all the times I took him along when it would have been so much easier not to. I think he really is learning what is expected of him in town. Of course, it helped not to have a list as long as my body. Every time I get stressed, he acts out. So tell me, do you get a babysitter or do you take your children with you to town? I find it so interesting to watch people on this one. There are the women who almost never get a sitter and the women who seem to get one for every occasion. And maybe what’s right for one person isn’t right for another. I remember when town took me almost twice as long with him as it did without him and I got so frustrated. Diapers, baby food, stroller, no nap, and a grouchy, grouchy little kid. I was about to give up trying when I talked to my cousin who had three children under four and she took them all with her. I remember realizing that if I can’t learn to take one, how will I ever take two? More recently I watch Jo take both boys shopping and I stand amazed. I am not one bit convinced I could do that and stay sane. And then when Adam got older and easier because he was potty trained and could eat at McDonalds, there was the whining and impatience and “I want to get down and touch everything and run around” stage and that wasn’t any fun either. We had some interrupted trips and sometimes I had to go back and finish the next day. Still, it was hard for me to feel good about making someone else take care of my child so that I could go shopping. Am I an extremist? You tell me because I’d like to know.
well, i have taken my little guy christmas shopping with me the last two days and he has done pretty well, but he gets really sick of being in his carseat. he’s learning that he needs to be patient though, and he usually is. i do not believe that it is a good plan to always leave your child with someone when you go into town because they will not learn how to behave then. i think it is, on the other hand, okay to leave them sometimes when you have to be quick and they would only be annoyed by the experience.
5 stars for you! I think its nice to see moms who take their responsibility serious as a mother~
I feel bad finding sitters for shopping, because there is always something else we HAVE to have sitters for. And how many people would think your kids are still cute is you took alll four of them to a sitter once a week? I have enjoyed slipping off lately and leaving a couple ot all of them with Dana.( after 6 years, I finally am not nursing or pregnant) We used to always do our shopping Saturdays. With a tiny baby, I couldn’t trust myself going alone. I have stories…the cart tipped at least twice with kids in it… Sometimes, I wish I wouldn’t feel so guilty for leaving my kids, but that is how our mom was. She took us everywhere. 🙂
Michelle, you’re not an extremist. I was sitting here thinking you made Adam a delightful shopper because you didn’t leave him every time you went to town. I never know quite when to draw the line because I know I need to take them w/ me so they learn, but how on earth am I supposed to get them to be good in town??? Elliot especially catches on so fast when I’m not going to do much to discipline.
So frustrating. Anyways, right now I’m in a bad stage I think. I have been taking them w/ me the last while because I’m just never quite sure if people actually WANT to keep my kids. And because I know deep down, if I don’t take them w/ me now, when will I actually start?? Because it won’t get any easier the longer I wait.
Btw, MAY I go w/ you to that Cafe sometime????
It sounded perfect.
Although I don’t have my own kids yet, I’ve done a bit of shopping with the 16 month girl I watch two days a week. I do NOT enjoy shopping (it’s a necessary evil) and toting a child along makes the whole process more painful. I do believe when I have my own, I’ll either never shop or get a sitter. Here’s another slant to some mothers’ thoughts on getting a sitter: I love to watch kids and I’m never asked to. I would be absolutely thrilled if someone asked to drop off her kids for a while for whatever reason. Perhaps there’s someone like me in your church or community? Ask around!
I rarely leave my girls and it is getting easier as they aren’t babies anymore. But I don’t enjoy shopping, so to add grumpy kids makes it a real chore! Today I shall take both along and TRY to complete my list and stay CALM!!!! I did tell Jesse if I had an option I would leave them and be totally quiet for a couple hours… ..that sounds rather blissful right now! But I do believe it is the same as church, if you let them stay in the nursery till their 2, how are they going to learn? Now I am an extremist about that. 🙂
You are not alone in your thinking. I even have a SIL who’s offered to watch Anna while I shop, and somehow it just feels kind of wrong to me. If I go out with a bunch of other ladies (which I maybe do once or twice a year), I will leave her so we won’t hinder the group’s progress.
But it has gotten to the place where Anna beams with joy when she sees we’re at WalMart. She’s such a little people person, that I would hate to deny her the privilege of having lots of people to smile at. I think she enjoys shopping more than I do, especially this time of year when there are inflatable singing snowmen and lights everywhere. Occasionally, if I want to make a quick run to WalMart for groceries, I’ll wait until she’s in bed.
I think you Mom’s are doing a great job, I think you’re allowed to do both, sometimes you need a day all by yourself and other times take them along ( maybe the days when you don’t have a list a mile long)
Interesting subject…since today I have a doctor appt. for my 2 youngest & we’re going to attempt shopping with all 4 children (the oldest is 5). Scary, huh? I think that both ways are okay. When my girls were younger, I left them at my Mom’s quite a bit, because she always wanted to see them anyway. And they’re still good shoppers…except for the occasional begging. Now my 18 mo. old is at “that stage” where I’m not sure how smart it is to take him. But I do agree that if you never take them, it could cause more issues when they’re older. So my opinion? do what you think is right & don’t worry about being an extremist!
I usually take the girls, I agree, they’ll never learn unless they are there! I do leave them somewhere on occasions, most of the time it’s when Eric and I want a night out or something.
I think those nights are essential to a marriage. 
I agree that they need to learn how to act in town. But my husband says they need to learn how to stay at someone else’s house, too. He says I’m an extremist for NOT leaving them somewhere!
You can see how my last shopping trip went on my blog. 🙁 And right now those ‘trips’ maybe last 2 1/2 hours from the time I leave until I come home again.
Now I’m debating what to do about this week’s trip. Maybe leave both with their daddy at work, or go at 5 on Sat. morning, so I”m back before baby awakes and wants to nurse???
Speaking of Cafe Europa…we’re going to Greenville Fri. night and leaving the children with Mom and we thought about eating there. There’s one right beside our hotel… 🙂 You would recommend it??? 😆
And, i usually take mine along shopping, too… I try to plan around naptime, because if that’s skipped all things go bad! And if we can stop and eat that’s always a highlight too.
I laughed at your description at the Cafe. No one can quite describe food/places the way you do.
You pretty much now how I feel about the babysitting thing. As other people have said, I think there’s a time and place for both. I do think it’s important to take them along so that they learn to behave in a store and becasue they are our responsibility. Maybe we as moms need to learn how to behave with children. ???
I like to take Zachary with me as often as I possibly can, so that when we really, really need a babysitter (a night out for Steve and I, all adults meal, occassional shopping with ladies) that I’m not a bother. I do like when Steve and I can go to town together or once in a blue moon he tells me to just wait to go to town till he gets off work and can stay with Zachary. Duh, you knew all that. Why am I writing it?
I was in town yesterday, too, but not at the mall. Why? Because my little girl does not like shopping. She did pretty good yesterday, but only because I kept handing her crackers and smarties and her sippy cup. This is new for me; in Sioux Lookout I lived 5 minutes from the grocery store and had no interesting places to shop, so it was always a quick run every few days. Now I do good if I get everything done in a morning. About babysitters; I’m pretty sure that in the next 6 months or so I’ll need to use one. I can’t picture staying sane with newborn and under 2 year old when I barely like to shop myself! Thank goodness for my mother in law, I just hope I don’t wear her out!
Babysitting. Uhm……….. That is what I’m struggling with right now. I’m tired of leaving my girls at other peoples place, but what do you do when you are painting and they can’t go along?? But I agree with the others, do what you think is right. I for one enjoy babysitting other peoples children, and like to do it when I’m asked because I like babysitting and number two, I like when other people do it for me, but the last while it seems like its hard to find willing people, I know to that Christmas is around the corner and people are busy or maybe they are tired of me asking them, and the last while it has been alot cause of building, and my dear husband is about too despair, cause they run off with his tools:( But I would much rather do that then find a babysitter. I do think that you need to take your children with you as much as possible, its good for them to learn to leave things alone and behave!! My girls are wonderful shoppers and would do it everyday, guess they take after their mamma. Sorry about the long comment here. 🙁
I’m at my friends house in England right now, and yesterday a mom came from church with her 5 children… the oldest coould’ve at most been 7 or 8 yrs old, and she had twins too… It was amazing to watch her coordinate everything!! 🙂 Wish I could come babysit for you…
I agree, there’s a time and place for each. It gets really nice when your oldest one gets old enough to babysit the others while you take a short run to town. BUT, i am 5 minutes from Walmart, so I never have far to go. And it makes a HUGE difference if you have great, Christian neighbors too.
I try to take them some, but I often go when hubby is at home. Son absolutely hates shopping at any time! 🙁
Whatever